I've had *enough*!! I'm running for President!!

Almighty Teeming 1.0 x 10^6s:

I’ve heard just about enough damn complaining, both IRL and here on the boards. Everywhere I go, I see “I don’t trust either of them” or “Neither is a good choice”. . .

Well, I’m not here to fix that, but I will stand up and offer my credentials to run for the President of the United States.

I’m a fairly decent guy, domestic policy skills are kinda weak, foreign policy flimsy at best, but dammit I’m an okay joe! I’ve never slept with an intern, I didn’t invent the Internet, I can’t promise tax cuts to the wealthiest 1%, and I won’t do any “fuzzy math” for homework.

So, I promise you, the Teeming Millions, that I may not be the best Presidential Candidate that’s come down the pike, but I am a damn good third choice.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you for your support.
Tripler
God Bless You, God Bless America.

Ok, I’ll be the intern who gives good head. :wink: But no, I’m not the fat, ugly intern who has nothing better to do than screw around with you.

Can be head of the EPA? Please? :wink:

I’d make a good Vice President. I have a dark suit to wear to foreign funerals, exotic fare doesn’t make me vomit, I can spell potato. Also, I just got the paperwork from the State yesterday to start my own political party. How does “Friends of the Moon” sound?

Okay. I guess I need a Vice-President.

Falcon, you can run the EPA.
Dr. Pinky, how about Sec’y Defense?
Tripler
My first bill, “Idiot Reduction Act of 2000”

I taught Algebra one semester - can I be secretary of ejuhkashun?

Do you belive in Gun Control on Golf Courses?
Are you for RU(487)?
Do you have a plan to cover prescription drugs like maryjuana?
Do you believe in a Woman’s Right to Choose Poor Mates?
What is your Economic outlook, specifically, can I have a million dollars without kissing up to Regis?
Tastes Great or Less Filling?? Ha?

That is what really gets me. Our gov’t is so far behind that they think that a 486 pill is current.

Come on folks if we were still using the x86 designation we would be at at least a 786 or an 886. So at least should it not be an RU Pentium III or an RU K7 pill.

Are you old enough? You know you have to be 35 to be president right? I mean I do not want to waste my vote on someone that is not even old enough.

Jeffery

!
Do I get a Stealth helicopter? Can I go to Area 51? Will I get to find out what the government is hiding from us?

You bet!

Can I be, uhh, Secretary of the Treasury? I always wanted to make a mint! (Or at least mind it…)

Rumor has it !

Back in 1969 a group of Black Panthers decided that
a fellow black panther named Alex Rackley needed to
die. Rackley was suspected of disloyalty.

Rackley was first tied to a chair. Once safely

immobilized, his “friends” tortured him for hours by,
among other things, pouring boiling water on him.

 When they got tired of torturing Rackley, Black

Panther member Warren Kimbo took Rackley outside
and put a bullet in his head. Rackley’s body was
later found floating in a river about 25 miles north
of New Haven, Conn.

Perhaps at this point you’re curious as to what
happened to these Black Panthers. In 1977, that’s
only eight years later, only one of the killers was
still in jail.

The shooter, Warren Kimbro, managed to get a
scholarship to Harvard;. He later became an
assistant
dean at Eastern Connecticut State College.
Isn’t that something? As a 60’s radical you can pump
a
bullet into someone’s head, and a few years later, in
the same state, you can become an assistant college
dean! Only in America.

Erica Huggins was the lady who served the Panthers
by boiling the water for Mr. Rackley’s torture. Some
years later Ms. Huggins was elected to a California
School Board.

How in the world do you think these killers got off
so easy? Maybe it was in some part due to the
efforts
of two people who incredibly came to the defense of
the Panthers. These two people actually went so far
as to shut down Yale University with demonstrations
in defense of the accused Black Panthers during
their
trial. One of these people was none other than Bill
Lan Lee. Mr. Lee, or Mr. Lan Lee, as the case may
be, isn’t a college dean. He isn’t a member of a
California School Board. He is now head of the U.S.
Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division.

O.K., so who was the other Panther defender? Is
this other notable Panther defender now a school
board
member? Is this other Panther apologist now an
assistant college dean? No, Neither! The other
Panther
defender was, like Lee, a radical law student at Yale
University at the time.

She is now known as the “smartest woman in the
world.” She is none other than the Democratic
candidate for the U.S. Senate from the State of New
York—our “lovely” First Lady, the incredible
Hillary Rodham Clinton

:rolleyes:

From Snopes, of course:

poppyp, you look like an idiot when you propagate crap like this without checking out the truth for yourself first. Especially on this site.

I believe you’ll see that I preceed that post reply with… “RUMOR HAS IT …!” That’s what it is, and only that! Befor you call someone an idiot, maybe you could inquire as to the demeaner, or posture of the person posting!


Thank you.

Prez. Tripler -
as Sec’y Defense, I advise your first act, (After the Idiot Reduction Bill, of course) to be to declare war on Canada. (I mean, look at all this cool STUFF, just sitting there.)

Ooh, Pantom, yer Sec’y Treasury. We need more money to fund our invasion, er, I mean, humanitarian mission into Canada. Go to work . . .

Dr. Pinky, you get your own fleet of stealth aircraft. See? They’re so stealth, I can’t even see them yet!!

Tripler
Rally round the flag boys, there’s morons ahead . . .

I believe in Golf Control around Gun Ranges.
I have enough trouble with traffic on I-287, nevermind this new RU(487).
I do plan to cover prescription drugs with a blanket plan called the “Placebo Plan”. One little pill cures everything.
My economic outlook is that I get paid on the 15th, but not as much as I’d like. And there are bunches of ways to earn a million dollars without even looking at Regis.

And we all know it’s not whether it tastes great, or if it’s less filling. It’s how much fun yer having drinking it.
Tripler
Second Bill: College Student Loan Reform Act of 2000. I got another damn bill today!!

Speaking as someone who really IS running for office - in Canada:

Bite our butt.

Whups! Sorry, I am SOOO freakin’ sick of all these &*!%$^ things cluttering my inbox that I see red whenever one pops up in front of me…

Speaking as someone who has run and lost a municipal election, I warmly say “Good Luck!”. It may be tough, but I think it pays off to start local. Call me crazy . . .

FairyChatMom is my new Sec’y Education!
Tripler
And I thought running the war against the teenie-boppers was difficult.

The state of foreign affairs - Matt_MCL, MP, inviting President Tripler to bite his butt…