Oh, I love how if I don’t want children (or anyone, for that matter) banging on my expensive personal belongings, I’m uptight.
Well that might not be evidence that you are uptight. Your reaction to the idea that my friends let me daughter play the piano and I think this is a good thing…well, that’s another story. My friend who lives a few blocks away is a piano teacher at a local university and she’s ok with it.
Anyway, I wasn’t trying to piss anyone off. I was just a little surprised that it could untune a Piano for a kid to bang on it a little.
Now you know that your kid (or anyone) can permanently ruin a piano by banging on it. What are you going to do?
The same thing I did before. When my daughter goes for the piano ask, ‘Is it ok?’
The FAQ didn’t say anything about permanently ruining it, it talked about de-tuning it.
Also when she starts to bang it like a drum I tell her to be gentle.
I agree on the self-absorbed part. I dont understand people that have kids & then expect the kids to be able to take care of themselves as soon as they get home from the hospital. Or expect others to take care of their offspring.
At least it’s only fart JOKES. Try working on ‘no farting at the table’ (or while watching a movie/tv/playing a game) especially when we’re trying to eat. I dont care if they dont stink! Cripes! If ya gotta let one rip, please spare the rest of us and do it in the privacy of your own bedroom or bathroom.
PS ummmm, same thing goes for clueless dads.
So your friends let your baby bang on their piano and break stuff and they are fine with that. Because I would stop your child, I am uptight?
There is an xkcd for every situation.
No because you extrapolated a whole bunch of nonsense about breaking stuff and thought that someone else not being uptight was a commentary on you, you are uptight.
This is why you should buy a harpsichord and strategically place it before the piano.
Extrapolated what? You said:
The logical conclusion is that normally after your baby is done banging on the piano, she’ll be going around breaking stuff.
And when you say that your friends “aren’t uptight” about a baby banging on their piano, you directly imply that people who don’t want their pianos banged on ARE “uptight.”
What are you bringing the toys along for if they’re going to be ignored in favor of banging on pianos (oh it’s so cute) and breaking stuff? Yes, you said you tell her to be gentle after she starts banging, but this implies that banging is allowed at first. Do you ever STOP your child from manhandling things at other people’s houses? You haven’t given us any evidence of it so far.
Heh, there are pianos and then there are pianos.
Among my family & friends, many people own pianos that they do not really play, that they basically inherited. At one point, owning a piano was simply another middle class bit of furniture, like owning a coffee table or a sofa. The primary purpose was for family use - maybe play a little song, or to teach the kids to play.
Such pianos were probably last tuned some time in the 1960s. Generations of kids have pounded on them, learned their chords on them, etc.
In my parents house there is a piano; I played (and pounded on it) as a kid, and my parents encouraged my son to play it too. Here’s a pic of my father holding his grandson up to “play the piano”:
In such a case, there is no concern about breaking the piano - anything that can break has already been broken, generations ago.
That being said, I’d not allow our kid to pound away on someone elses’ piano without asking. Obviously some concert pianist’s fine instrument isn’t for kids playing on. But as I said, most people I know who own pianos do not own pianos of that sort - I’d say 95% of people I know, if you asked them “can my kid play with your piano?” would say “great photo op - I’ll get my camera!” rather than “You will spoil the tuning, so I’d rather you did not”.
This background may help to explain the different reactions here.
My piano is over 100 years old, and has actual ivory keys. They’re a little bit delicate.
I wince every time my own kid pounds on them - and I really do try to get her to play nicely.
Sure, I’ve got 6 keys that need repair already, but I’d prefer to keep it that way.
I don’t mind if kids play with it reasonably - but that usually turns into pounding before too long. (My daughter is 2 and a bit, and so are most of her friends. They try to listen, really they do)
Fortunately, I have a keyboard in the basement that’s far more sturdy. I can always whip that out if things get out of hand.
Thank you Scarlett67, you took the words right out of my mouth.
It’s easy to criticize parents who are doing things wrong, but try to remember to say something now and again to those who are doing things right, too. I firmly believe that good behavior begats good behavior, so it’s also nice to let the kids know how much you appriciate that…which is why a friend and I stopped at another table on the way out of a restaurant a few months ago to tell parents that we were pleased at how well-behaved their three little boys were the whole time people ate. The parents looked happy, and the boys were obviously proud of themselves. It didn’t cost us anything but two minutes to make them happy - and hopefully to encourage future good behavior a little.
As long as you’re sure that the studies that are beginning to link early TV viewing and autism are wrong, power to you.
Yeah, no.
Just to add to the chorus here, this is absolutely not acceptable, I don’t care what your silly non-“uptight” friends say. As a parent, piano-owner, and just a casual piano player (it’s not my life or anything), I would think you are the most insensitive, clueless idiot if you thought it was ok for your child to: (1) pound [under ANY circumstances], or (2) touch/play without asking, our piano.
This is just not done.
It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to quietly entertain, re-direct, and otherwise keep absolute control over your baby, toddler, and older child (by about 5, though, they should be trained to quietly entertain themselves with coloring or whatever) when you are in anyone else’s house. This does NOT MEAN that the stuff in my house is ok to play with. This may mean a short visit, it may mean you are a little distracted with re-directing your children, it may mean you are removed from the rest of the conversation while you take care of keeping your kid out of harm’s way.
If you child is prone to “breaking other stuff”, no matter what his or her age, that means that YOU have to vigilantly watch AND FUCKING TEACH. (I don’t care how old he/she is; if she can toddle/crawl/reach, there are ways of conveying what is and is not acceptable, and particularly if you are in someone else’s home, where the standard is by default much higher)
The sense of entitlement you expressed in this post fucking blew me away. Bring a small bag of toys from home for Christ’s sake.
Very true, and good point.
But one problem I see with mswas’s tactics is waiting for the child to approach the piano, and then asking “Is it OK?” instead of teaching the child that we don’t go after things in other people’s homes to begin with.
A common piece of advice in dog training is not to give your puppy an old shoe to chew on, because the puppy can’t tell the difference between a smelly old sneaker and your $400 Ferragamos. Seems an apt analogy here. This kid seems to be learning that [any piano] = [toy]. Not necessarily a good thing.
It’s a good idea, IMHO, to teach both puppies and children, “If it’s not yours, don’t touch.”
Also, I’m not fond of mswas’s implication that letting your child damage something (in this case, possibly de-tuning it) is OK if the damage isn’t permanent. Damage is damage, and getting a piano tuned isn’t cheap.
I imagine most people who have children think that they are genetically worthy of having reproduced, which would be amusing if there weren’t so many kids running around with genetic diseases. Most parents seem to think they are doing a great job at raising their kids as well and your saying “we’ll see how it turns out in 25 years” makes me wonder…
I want to add another couple examples of clueless parents to the pile. We went to the zoo today (usually a hotbed of parents and children - today was no different). We went to look at the baby gorilla, and had a seat on the viewing benches. We were in luck, and the baby and mother wandered right over to us, so we had great seats to watch the little guy. A mother and child were next to us; the mother was very aware of her kid standing in front of us, and kept pulling her back so we could still see. Then another set of parents came up behind us, and actually sent their kid to stand right in front of us, so we couldn’t see anything. I wanted to say, “Are you freakin’ kidding me? Did it ever occur to you clueless wonders that we might be sitting here looking right at the gorillas because we want to see them, too?”
The second example was the father who indulgently watched his two grade-school aged sons chase the free ranging birds in the Africa exhibit. Dude, there is nothing at the zoo that your sons should be chasing and trying to grab; it’s not good for the birds, and it has potential to be not good for your sons.
I appreciate the information, but let’s be honest. It’s not multiple studies. It’s not even one medical study. It’s a single, non-medical, controversial statistical sampling exercise that at best indicates a path for actual scientific study. Also, there are many very reliable studies that show good nutrition is vitally important in a variety of arenas, and in my house, a healthful dinner doesn’t get on the table without assistance from Yo Gabba Gabba. 
I totally agree with you about “catching them being good.” For parents and children. I always try to note and make a big deal when my kids or others’ behave nicely and considerately. And I also try to make positive comments to people when I see them parenting in a useful way.