Grrrr…there is no word in the english dictionary to describe the hate I feel for my mother now.
Ok here’s how it started. Last night at about 11 my mom got on my step dad’s computer. I had left my MSN messenger password saved there. (Ok that’s my mistake I admit) She tells me that my MSN name is disgusting (I really have no clue why…here’s what it was i’mgoingcrazywannacome?. Could someone explain to me how that’s offensive?)
Oh but it gets better! :rolleyes:
She got on my step dad’s desktop (we each have our own desktops through windows. There was an adult site in his favorites. Now I know for a fact I did not put that there. I don’t even go on his desktop, I go on mine. But guess who she tries to blame? Me.
And there’s more!
She does this some of the same shit to my step dad too. Gets jealous if he’s talking to any females online. She throws a fit if he doesn’t answer his cell phone. (he sometimes leaves it in the truck. Sometimes he’s just in a dead spot.) She calls from work all the time. Its alsmost like she’s checking up on him. I guess she thinks he’d cheat on her (not that’d I’d blame him if he did. Probably many other women who wouldn’t pull this crap on him.)
Fine she’s the adult and I’m the teenager…doesn’t mean I have to like her going through my stuff. I swear as soon as I get my license ,I’m leaving and NEVER coming back.
Is something else going on in her life that might be putting her on edge? Does she have a stressful job? Is she having trouble with a family member (not you or your step-father)?
If she’s already having trouble from some other area of her life, it might be spilling over into her homelife.
…Or she might just be incredibly paranoid about you and your stepdad. All that cell-phone calling sounds a bit obsessive.
Sounds like one of two things: He cheated on her, or she cheated on him. Why else would she be so suspicious?
I would put her on the spot and say “why is my screen name disgusting? What assumptions are you making?”
Similarly I would also point out that the website is on your fathers desktop, I would ask her “why do you think I looked at it? What reason do you have to not believe me?”
Then I would say “thanks for all the trust”.
That should get you grounded and upset her greatly-if that’s the sort of thing you’re looking for.
He didn’t, he is always home cause he is retired. Cause he can’t work cause he’s injured. I know he doesn’t cheat on her cause I’m home most of time cause of the lack of my not having a life. (but that’s something else entirely hehe )He’s not my dad he’s my Step-Dad. He does stuff around the house like fixing things.
Above all, don’t leave. Bide your time, get a college education (a small bite of revenge when she pays tuition, yes?) and go on to a wonderful life too far away for her to visit often. You won’t believe how much that improves everybody’s personality… I speak from experience here!
Hey…another teenager here. If you want to vent, email me. I’m pretty good at listening, or so many of my friends seem to think. I’m here if you want to comiserate, and my email and screen name are in my profile.
Hey, I feel your pain. My mom goes through my stuff alot too, and it’s a pain in the ass. At least it seems like you don’t have anything that you feel that you have to hide from your parents.
Well, you could always leave now. But then, where would you go? How would you eat, live, clothe yourself, have a computer to play on, a bed to sleep in, a TV to watch? Seems like you are lucky and reap a lot more benefits in spite of having to take a little flack from your mom. Believe me the day will come when you would gladly go back if you could, when you are the one having to work and support someone else besides yourself, or hey, even support yourself and then on top of that, listen to someone talk about how much they hate you.
You darn whippersnappers are so spoiled! Why don’t you just move. . . oh God. This again.
Because you feel you were coddled when you were a kid doesn’t neccessarily that everyone was equally coddled, and SOME teens AREN’T exaggerating their situation, sometimes. Heaven forbid someone under 28 should express some kind of unhappiness with their living situation on this board. You rarely see this degree of condescending reaction when someone complains about a spouse or job.
Being a teen is similar to being in an abusive relationship-- you can say “well, fucking leave, then” but a kid, even more than an abused woman, can’t even conceive of that as an option, having no experience of it. They’re KIDS, fairly recent to the world, and understandibly can’t grasp this as a possibility.
When I lived at home I couldn’t stand living with my parents. They fought a lot, one was aggressive and the other was passive-aggressive, and both were very surprisingly not good at living in the world. They took out all their aggressions towards one another and towards life in general on their kids. I will spare you the details.
But in the end I guess I really took it all for granted, because. . .
Wait! I remember! When I went off on my own and took out huge student loans for college and started paying my own bills and having to support myself I was happily surprised at how NOT hard it all was and discovered that if you allocate money right and make your basic payments your telephone WON’T get shut off, etc., and ended up taking care of my life much better than my parents ever had, even when I was unemployed and in debt. For some people the day NEVER comes when you want to go back.
So please, adults. Give the teens a frikking break sometimes. Just because they live under your roof doesn’t mean you can’t teach them how to live in a civil society as well or should use them as whipping-boy for your own discontent. There are some teens who aren’t smoking crack and ditching school whose parents unjustly assume the worst and treat them as thought they are terrible delinquents, sometimes projecting their own past/present misconduct onto others. Yes, many of them are histrionic (thank god none of the adults who post in the pit are so dramatic and over-reacting!) but this kind of formulaic response pretty much invalidates their individual situations and experiences.