I posted a thread about being really phobic about driving a car, here, a little while back.
As of this week, I have officially gotten over that fear. I drive to and from work without freaking out and white-knuckling the steering wheel. I bring my roommate to her bus stops in the AM and pick her up in the evening.
It feels so weird, running errands and doing things by myself in a car, rather than walking or bumming a ride or taking a cab.
I’m still an extremely careful driver and probably drive a little on the slow side, but there was rain and snow this week, and I still managed to do okay. Really, the only thing that helped with my anxiety was simply biting the bullet, and doing it.
I know in my previous thread there were some others that expressed fear of driving. I just wanted to say thanks for the support I received, and good luck to others with the same problem. It took me until I was 27 years old, but I finally did it, and I feel much better about myself for getting it done.
Good for you! I co-facilitate an anxiety sufferers support group, and people are extremely reluctant to challenge their fears, no matter how much we tell them that will help them get over them. It does me good to hear a story like yours, from someone who faced their fear head on and took a lot of its power away.
Have you taken any driving lessons with a good instructor? Knowing exactly what you’re doing and being well-trained can alleviate a lot of anxiety, too.
I actually made appointments with what was recommended to me as a good instructor. I don’t know if I just had bad luck, but she was terribly rude to me and neglected to show up for appointments, so my mother ended up offering to help.
I went the same route daily for a couple of months to get comfortable with things. I always drive extremely carefully, but I was also using my mom as a partial crutch to make sure I didn’t mess up. Doing it myself has forced me to be a little more confident.
I don’t get cocky about it, driving still scares me to an extent. But not so much that I can’t do it. I just make sure I follow all the posted rules and watch out for other people.
To boot: It was costing me about 300-400$ a month in cab and bus fare to get to work, and the temperatures have started dropping to where walking and waiting hours at outdoor bus stops are not much of an option. Now, it costs me 20$ to fill my tank, and I fill it twice a month. My insurance is only 40$ a month. Huge savings. Also a positive factor in all of this.
Awesome! Its amazing how much people can overcome certain challenges that might seem so inherent in their personalities. Your story struck a chord with me because it reminds me of my past situation-
I got my license at 20. A big part of it was because I was raised by a single mom who was very high-strung, and passed that tension to me when it came to driving. Consequently I didn’t get an opportunity to practice until I was 20. When I was driving, I was incredibly nervous. It took me THREE TRIES to finally pass the behind-the-wheel training class, and I felt like a total retard because everybody else I knew passed it on the first try (at 16, no less :mad: ).
Fast forward to last year, I passed my drive final to get my class B license which allows me to drive a bus. I am a completely different person behind the wheel- calm, confident, and very safe. I’m also looking foward to learning to drive a train in 2009!
The moral in my story is that just because something seems unsurmountable, doesn’t mean its impossible! You yourself demonstrated that you could overcome that hurdle.
I’ll second the recommendation from featherlou to get some lessons from a professional. If the person who you tried was a bust, you should go check out some other option. In many cases, proof of driver education can reduce your insurance rate as well, so it’ll not only help boost your confidence by giving you a strong foundation to build on, but it’ll save you even more money.
The first day driving by myself, my legs felt like jelly and I was hanging onto the wheel like nobody’s business. It seems to get a little less nerve-wracking each day.
Dread Pirate Jimbo: The driving instructor I tried was the only one in the area recommended by the DMV, so now I’m looking at other private driving schools. I’m holding off for the moment, trying to see if anyone I know has any recommendations, but most of them don’t.
I might try one and see if it works out, just to help me out with the trickier things like getting more comfortable parallel parking.
The driving school I went to, Young Drivers of Canada (which I’m reasonably sure doesn’t exist in your part of the world), did wonders for me, in terms of giving me the tools to be a more successful and confident motorist. Not only was the stuff in the car helpful, but also the in-class theory stuff, which really helps you anticipate hazards and react to them. And they’ll definitely teach you how to parallel park, which is laughably simple once you know how.
One suggestion I would have (assuming you haven’t considered it already) is to drive as MUCH as you can.
I don’t know if you have an actual license yet, but as long as you have a permit you can drive as long as anyone over 25(?) with a license is in the car with you. What I did that helped was simply drive at every opportunity. The more I did it, the more confident I felt.
Another thing that helps is to take your time. One motto I really embrace from my bus driver training is “speed is space”. Take your time, practice, and like everything it will get easier over time.
Yeah, I’m going over the same routes I go every day as practice, usually going one direction I don’t often go, just for practice. I get out of work very early on the weekends, so there’s no traffic anywhere, and I practice on roads that have multiple lanes are are normally very busy, so that I’ll know where to go when I have to take those roads in real traffic.
I always give myself twice as much time as I think I’ll need, just in case. Even if I’m running late, I won’t rush. The last thing I want to do is get into an accident. The biggest fear I have when driving is causing an accident and hurting someone.
Up around the hospital, the speed limit posted is 15. Nobody drives 15, but I drive 15. Everyone vrooms right through at 30+MPH, but I will not go over what’s posted. Let them honk and me and get cranky, I’m not going to let it bother me. I never go so much as 2 miles over the posted speed limit. I also don’t go any more than 5 miles under it. In a 30, I generally go 25-28. In a 25, I go 20-22. And so on.
For parallel parking, try the method of a big empty parking lot, and a couple of big cardboard boxes against a curb. You may have to grab a tape measure and figure out how long the typical curbside parking space is, to get a realistic length of a space. Perfect no-stress parking experience.
One of the best pieces of advice I got was to put your foot on the brake and crank the wheel as far as it could possibly go before releasing the brake, to really get your car into that spot quickly. With the boxes you’ll get an idea of how far ahead on the front car your car must be, before starting the maneuver.
Leah, I missed your first thread somehow, but congratulations! I had a similar experience, and didn’t learn to drive until after my daughter was born. Now I’m teaching her! She’s reluctant too, but I feel like I can really understand and help her.
I think (hope) it was just bad luck - a good driving instructor has the patience of Job and nerves of steel (and shows up when they are supposed to). They won’t coddle you, but they shouldn’t be rude, either. Maybe you could try your local branch of the American Automobile Association (AAA) - they are involved in all things driver, and spend a lot of time and effort on safety and collision reduction.
There’s a show in Canada called “Canada’s Worst Driver” that Jim and I watch occasionally, and it is absolutely horrifying to see the drivers in it, all perfectly legally certified to drive in Canada (and the US), who can’t drive a straight line, who don’t know what road signs mean, who are truly a hazard to everyone else on the road and themselves. That’s what you get when friends and family teach people to drive - you luck out on the road test with no actual competency established. As you may have guessed by now, this is a real cause of mine - driving is serious business, and developing the best skills you possibly can is, in my opinion, critical. I would like to see some heavy-duty training by strictly-regulated professionals become mandatory across North America.
