And this is exactly what I was talking about. Thanks for reinforcing my point.
Stupidity? Why’s the OP stupid - because he’s irritated at a customer that came in and made his day more irritating and difficult instead of just going through the process like every other customer? Are you kidding me?
I’m sorry, but I can’t get over this - where does the OP “insult” the customer? The customer comes up and, apropos of nothing, goes on a hostile, belligerent, unprovoked tirade. Rather than showing his irritation through snapping back at the customer, calling for the next in line, or simply decaffing the guy, he lets it slide with a snarky joke.
For this, he’s an “asshole in an apron” who should be fired!?
I just have to say, I love these names. When I open my coffee shop*, I’m using them (with your permission). Man, my coffee shop is gonna RULE!! “I want a black Funbung; leave room for the cream.”
*I am never opening a coffee shop.
There are actually 4 sizes at Starbucks: short (8 oz), tall (12 oz), grande, and venti. I don’t mind the names short and tall, but grande and venti are somewhat annoying. I was at a Starbucks in Beijing and saw the characters for Xiao (small), Zhong (middle), and Ta (large) next to the words tall, grande, and venti and was really excited because they are some of the very few Chinese characters I recognize.
Starbucks is a way of life in Oregon (there are 10 withing 2 miles of my house and 63! within 5 miles). I really don’t get a pretentious vibe in ones I frequent. When there are 10 people in line, each getting something different, the cashier does need to be precise when they call out the order to the “barista”, so they are careful about the order they repeat things. If I order a short, double, latte they will repeat it as double, short, latte so the barista can keep things straight.
Can you buy coffee grown in America?
Would you want to drink it?
Or did I just see too many Juan Valdez in commercials when I was young and get wrongly convinced that decent coffee must be imported.
Still, I’ve never seen a Starbucks person do anything other than clarify whether someone wants a 12oz or 16oz (the non-smallest and non-largest sizes) when they ask for “medium.” (As a Short is 8oz, Tall is 12, Grande is 16, Venti is 20, “medium” requires clarification)
The guy wasn’t an idiot. If this is the worst thing you ever heard, you seriously should think about getting out of retail. Unless the OP started working there yesterday I have a hard time believing this is the first time they ever heard someone get a little cranky and confused about the sizes and selections in a Starbucks. Practically every time I’m in one someone is mumbling under their breath about the goofy pretentiousness of it, especially the sizes. If you work in retail, developing a sense of humor can go along way in dealing with the public. Or you turn into psycho-coffee seller like the poster above. That’s some scary stuff.
Isn’t that extra-large in many places?
What in the hell does that mean, “decaffing a guy”. You give people decaf just for the hell of it? If you give people something they don’t order, you should be fired.
Why do you work in retail in the first place?
This is not at all intended as a snarky question, but have you ever worked in food service? People complaining about getting exactly what they order, though not exactly what they expected, is far from unusual.
Knock yourself out! 
I personally find that a Funbung is a bit too much in the morning but would never start my day without at least a fresh, aromatic Flimple.
Read the thread Uvula Doner (btw, nice dressing down, UD) linked to upthread. VCO3 fucks with people’s coffee in a variety of manners for slighting him.
Yes, that’s what decaf means when used as a verb - “That guy was a total cunt, so we decaffed that ass!”, usually followed by high-fives.
I don’t work retail anymore - as you can see from the thread linked, it did not agree with me.
No. Largest means largest. Large is a relative term, larger and largest are comparative terms that guarantee a larger degree of largeness when compared to other larges.
I’ve worked retail for a long time before taking up my current job, and it requires a certain personality to do well without eventually going postal and shooting the customers.
If you work in retail, you WILL have to deal with inane questions, you WILL have to deal with complaints and angry customers, and you WILL have your patience tested on a daily basis. You have to be able to handle a huge variety of people confidently and patiently while maintaining a smile. By all means feel free to vent in private, but if you can’t keep from snarking at a customer who isn’t actively hostile or abusive, you’re probably in the wrong job.
I wasn’t refering to the OP specifically when I said that. I was refering to retail workers in general, as were you.
Some retail workers are assholish morons. Sometimes. Some customers are assholish morons. Sometimes. Those of us who have spent significant time on both sides of the counter realize that. There have been entire threads devoted to one or the other, and sometimes both. I myself started a wildly successful thread about assholish moronic customers. There were at least two pages of current or former retail workers who had their own amusing sob stories. There was real comeraderie and support in that thread – which, by the way, was a reaction to a similar thread complaining about assholish moronic clerks. And the funny thing is, many people posted in both threads.
So your charge of elitism against retail workers is unfounded. It’s annoyance at assholish morons of all stripes.
And before you accuse me of calling the OP an assholish moron, I’m not. I just think it’s not his strongest Pitting. And I have a little sympathy for the customer. While he was a jerk, he was saying what some of us were thinking.
Where are all these snobby Starbucks? I work around 3 Starbucks and every one is manned by 20 something latino teenagers. They do the whole “1 tea, tall” when I say “small” but maybe that’s a corporate policy or something?
I DO think the names are stupid but I honestly do not like people who go up to customer service associates with an abrasive and sarcastically belligerent attitude the way this guy did. Especially when there are certain companies where I think you do get a reasonably decent level of service (Starbucks, Trader Joe’s etc…). On the rare occasion that I’ve ordered a caloriecinno, they have given me free coupons if my drink order took more than 3 minutes.
I can honestly tell you that if I behaved that way towards a waiter or customer service associate with my colleagues and associates, that I would not have a job and would lose several of my contacts in the private sector. I’ve observed people behave this way during law firm interviews and have never seen one get a job.
There are a subset of human beings that enjoy going through life belligerently and looking to rile people up, and in some way, make the person they are unloading upon feel smaller about themselves. They are assholes. If you have a problem with something, take it up with management.
On the other hand, to the OP, I’d say let go of the need to one-up these type of people. It’s actually just better to blankly respond “so 1 plain coffee, black?” You don’t gain anything by engaging them. You are not going to change their mind or their opinion. The only thing you might end up with is a customer service complaint to the person you answer to.
Let’s dissect:
He claims the customer is spewing this “without provocation”. Except, the customer stepped up to place his order. His provocation is he’s ordering.
Also note that the customer was quite unambiguous in what he wanted to order. There’s no difficulty understanding what he wants. He doesn’t take sugar. He doesn’t take cream. These are the kinds of things that someone taking a coffee order should expect to hear from the customer.
skip a bit, to:
Of course he answered that with a blank, confused stare. That was a stupid response to give him. Is “a cup of plastic coffee” supposed to indicate he’d’ve gotten coffee in a plastic cup? or in a regular cup but the coffee is made out of plastic?
That response doesn’t even address any of the confusion that our poor, beleagured baristanista is suffering because he didn’t recognize the words “venti” or “grande” or “brobdinagian” to tell what size the customer wanted. Nor does it clarify that “nothing fancy” means that he does not want a cappucino/mocha/frappucino/moolatte/whatever. So why make that response at all?
We’re left to guess that it was made only to show the customer that his anti-elitism coffee snobbery was not appreciated by our Brave Little Barista, on behalf of elite coffee snobs everywhere.
The customer didn’t make the OP’s day more irritating and difficult; the OP made the customer’s day more stupid. Hence the many comments in this thread.
Really, the OP would have been saved had he managed to make a clever comeback to Mr. Clueless Customer. Funny forgives many sins, even in the Pit.
They now have a new product-white hot chocolate. Sooooooo good. Soooooo rich and fattening.
But damn, their hot chocolate has saved me from freezing to death on quite a few occassions.
As for the OP-yeah, the guy was a bit of a tool. But more of the “roll my eyes and think he’s an idiot” kind of tool. Reminds me of the time I was in high school, working part-time at a local grocery store, and this old couple came through my line, buying Breyer’s ice cream.
Now, Breyer’s thing is “all natural” ingredients, or whatever. And their vanilla ice cream is advertised as having “bean specks.” And they kept asking, “Well, what are bean specks?”
And I’m saying, “Well, you know-pieces of the bean.”
Then the husband asks me, “Well, what kind of beans? Like lima beans?”
Yes, he was serious. It took all of my willpower not to make some smartass remark and simply explain that no, it was vanilla beans.
Jesus. Of course, the upside is, it makes for a funny story to tell later.
It’s called “taking it on someone else”- customer is pissed at the pompousness of Starbucks, and since the founder of the company is not working the 6-10 shift that morning, he tries to get witty with the clerk. Completely stupid and pointless comments by the customer, who looks even dumber by giving his money to a company he doesn’t like. Retail workers should not have to take shit from customers, no matter how minor. Anyone who vents at a worker for no reason is an ass.
Now, whether the customer’s comments are pit worthy, I don’t have the chart that lists how severe something must be to be pitted.