In fact, i don’t even care about you! Get off the TV, you talentless dowcet, you are not fit to eat crapaudine, even if on one of your caponizing Subway sandwiches.
in short, eat me, you jumentous rat molestor, and your scolecophagous wife, too!
This rant sucks.
However, you did introduce me to the word scolecophagous, so all is forgiven. Now to work that badboy into a conversation tomorrow at work.
Get a priest, he’s been possessed by Don King!
I’m waiting for his major-label debut, myself.
She’s just his beard.
Do you really think Jared’s is segmented?
woah I’ve been introduced to dowcet, crapaudine, caponizing, jumentous and scolecophagous.
Cherry, you’ve been introduced to caponizing? Wow, that’s harsh.
Jeez, that rant is like listening to a Bad Religion song. Somebody get out the dictionary and thesaurus, stat!
I only know two things about Jarhead’s wife: 1. She hounds him to do all kinds of yardwork, and 2. She doesn’t cook.
It’d be forgiveable if their sandwiches didn’t suck so bad, even if you do get all the fatty stuff.
Mmmm… one ounce of meat and a half pint of mustard with sugar mixed in. Yum.
Hmm.
- She hounds him to do all kinds of yardwork, and 2. She doesn’t cook.
There’s a nice symmetry to this campaign.
Jared is a fat lonely loser. Jared starts eating at Subway, and loses weight. People start talking about him. He meets a woman and gets married. She makes him work from can’t see to can’t see, never cooks for him. Jared becomes a malnourished slave. His only sustenance is provided by Subway. Jared eventually dies of starvation and exhaustion.
Subway. We can make or break you, so give us some money and maybe we’ll be nice and let you live.
I think Microsoft is ahead of them, but that’s more of a subtle thing.
I thought it looked an advertisement for a sitcom. Hey, it can’t be any worse than what’s on now…
Now on ABC:
Jared’s Place In tonight’s epside, Jared’s buddies are over to watch the big game. Humor ensues as Jared’s wife reveals she can’t cook. They all go out for subs.
I think this would be funnier if he were still fat. They could have an episode where his wife was just dying for sex, moaning “Ride me, you pot-bellied stallion!” but Jared’s belly was so big he couldn’t get close enough to, ah, “hit the target.” He would go outside distraught and discuss it with his next-door neighbor Mr. Subway, who, curiously, always has his face obscured for no good reason.
Jared is from Indianapolis, his dad’s a doctor. Just pointless info I thought I’d share.
Feel the whitebread. Be the whitebread.
. . . And how many points would you be?
Tars, you’d kick my ass in Scrabble.
Or at least caponize it.
[sub]Did I even use that correctly?[/sub]
Ha! It’s funny because it’s true…