Another random digression. Tar Tarkas obviously gets his vocabulary from reading the Straight Dope:
Eve, probably more points than a 6" veggie delite (hold the cheese, mayo, olives and oil) and a bag of baked lays.
Save yourself. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
That explains his stultiloquent rant. It gives me strikhedonia and gymnephoria at the same time.
http://www.islandnet.com/~egbird/dict/g.htm
2trew, nah I just looked it up.:eek:
She also seems to be a redhead, which intrigues me. I’ve only seen the commercial twice, so I haven’t gotten a good look, but the second time I was saying, “Bah, go away Jared! Show me the redhead!”
Then I remembered I have internet access, so I went and looked at all the redheads I wanted and didn’t think about Jared or Subway at all.
The part I find most droll hasn’t even happened yet. Jared has been hyped to the point where his eventual ballooning will be a marketing disaster of Delta Burke proportions. But unlike the folks at HBO who passively observed their beautiful new starlet’s battle with her weight, Subway will have to do something about it before it hits the news circuit.
Picture, if you will, orange jumpsuited Subway stormtroopers (summoned by their mole, Jared’s wife) abducting our corpulent protagonist and spiriting him away to a secluded Subway underground bunker. There, he is subjected to hourly workouts with Richard Simmons, who is outfitted in a decidedly too tight military inspired shorts set. When ultimately the weight is not dropped quick enough, he is sealed alive in a huge vat of mayonnaise while Subway scientists furtively put the finishing touches on their cyber-endersomatic Jared3000.
The point is, would it be * fat free* mayonnaise?
No it will be the final inglorious insult to their fallen spokes-dullard: Miracle Whip.
Mmmm…Loves me some Miracle Whip.
Jared free, of course.
Miracle Whip is the spunk of Satan, you bog-waddling philistine!
Step away from the thesaurus.
I do!!
Anyone seen her?
Is she a dog?
Yeah, like anybody quits using the Miracle Whip just because they got married.
I’d like to make her look like a “tub of Miracle Whip”
i was watching my tapes of sundays fox lineup, and EVERY commercial break was that fewmet Jared yammering about how Subway has changed his life, with his quaedam wife. I egest on your curpin Subway sandwiches, you fenk!
Waverly, your assessment of the grotesque evil that is Miracle Whip is both factually accurate and one of the most obscenely well-envisioned comments ever to spread despair amongst my taste-buds.
I both thank you and revile you.
Do not blemish the good reputation of Satan Spunk, heathen.
It’s a good place to stash your jewelry and put it in the fridge.
By your “jewelry” I of course mean your jewelry.
Only if he carried a Webster’s Unabirdged Dictionary along with him… I’d challenge those words and produce a time worn Student’s Pocket Dictionary…
Let’s see him find those words in there…
Your cromulent attitude embiggens us all.