Actually, if the Subway marketing department has half a brain, they’re filming commercials with Jared at a rate far in excess of that at which they’re showing them. In other words, they could be creating a backlog as insurance against the possibility of his fall from slimness, so they can maintain the illusion of his trim figure despite anything that might happen in reality. Hell, Jared could be dead for years before they ran out of ads. Then they bring in the Jared3000.
Sort of like that Mazda zoom-zoom kid. I’m convinced that as soon as they knew it would be successful, they brought the kid into the studio for one day and filmed him doing the line with a variety of angles and costumes in front of a blue screen. They can keep shooting automobile footage and composite the kid on top of it forever if they want.
the saga of Jared really depresses me, as it is a particularly realistic depiction of life. Let’s take a look, shall we?
1.)Jared is fat. Nobody likes him.
2.)Jared loses weight with Subway. Still, nobody likes him, however he can now get the occasional one-nighter.
3.)Subway decides to paste his face all over the television as their new spokesman, along with which I’m sure came a hefty paycheck.
4.)Everyone sees Jared, he becomes a hero to every fat man in America, though not really.
5.)Jared miraculously falls in love with a beautiful woman, who seems rather yenta-like to me. Point is, he wouldn’t have landed her if he was still fat and ugly.
Would that woman have even given Jared a second glance if he was still huge and not a marketing sensation? Methinks not.
Just wondering, does anyone really sweep the leaves off their roof like Jared does in the commercial.
And why didn’t Jared just get his Aides to do it (because, as you know, ‘Jared Has Aides’)
I can handle the Clay Henry thing because I find it amusing that he’s annoyed with everyone singing his name, but what I cannot for the life of me stand is the afforementioned “zoom-zoom” kid.
I shudder just to type it! He scares the bejeezus outta me!
Eeeeew! Eeeeeew! Get offa my TV you creepy little thing!!!
Do you remember, anyone, around the time of the original Clay Henry [sub](mwahaha ha haaa)[/sub] commercial, there was another one that featured a woman who admired Jared, and almost worshipped him to an unhealthy degree. She had pictures of him on her refrigerator and everything. The commercial showed her going to Subway for a lettuce sandwich (hold the mayo!) and meeting Jared there. Do you remember that one? It didn’t get as much play as the Clay Henry [sub](mwahaha ha haaa)[/sub] one.
Anyway, is that woman the current Mrs Jared? I can’t remember exactly what she looked like, but I think she resembled the woman whom we now know as Jared’s ho wife. Anybody know?
