Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke? Oh good lord...

Cafe Society
1

There’s not only to be a big budget big screen remake of The Dukes of Hazzard, but Jessica Simpson has agreed to play Daisy. It is the end times.

Of course if they’re going to redo the movie, they might as well redo it all the way. My dream-team:

Producers: Merchant & Ivory

Daisy: Jessica Simpson
Bo: Jude Law
Luke: Johnny Depp
Coy: Brad Pitt
Vance: Orlando Bloom
Uncle Jesse: Sean Connery
Roscoe P. Coltrane: Robert Duvall
Boss Hogg: Anthony Hopkins
Enos: Tom Hanks
Cooter: Billy Bob Thornton

Thoughts?

2

Actually, after convening with my priest, my eunuchs and the disembodied sprites of Denver Pyle and Maimonides, I have reconsidered. Uncle Jesse should be played by Sir Ian McKellen.

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General Lee: Ferrari F40

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But voiced by William Daniels

5

You’ll have to excuse me… I’ll be spending he next several hours picturing Jessica Simpson in little Daisy-Duke cut off shorts…

thwartme

6

And what about Flash? Is he of no importance to you?

7

Lucasfilm CGI, of course. Now he can fly. :smiley:

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Killer! I’m totally there!
Have you considered a career as a casting director?

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I got into this thread thinking, “What is this guy talking about? A remake of The Dukes of Hazzard was just released a couple months ago.”

Yeah. Starsky & Hutch, I know.

:smack:

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I just saw Starsky & Hutch and really liked it. But then, I liked Zoolander, too.

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I think Mila Kunis (Jackie on that 70’s show) would make a good Daisy
Brian

12

I’d heard Britney Spears was going to do it.

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine which is the better or worse choice.

13

I suspect they’ll use an updated muscle car, like the 2004 GTO.

14

Hey, if Sampiro can cast a bunch of Brits to play denizens of BF Georgia, than I can cast an Italian supercar as the General.

15

Why not a British supercar? :smiley:

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if they don’t have a ‘69 Charger… or at least a good ol’ Dodge… WITH A HEMI… then I will be revolting… of course I am already revolting…

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The fact that you could name that manay characters from the show, probably off the top of your head, makes me sad.

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I can also tell you off the top of my head that in real life:

*Denver “Uncle Jesse” Pyle made million$ as an oil speculator before becoming an actor

*James “Roscoe” Best was an acting teacher whose students included Geena Davis and Quentin Tarantino

*Sorrell “Boss Hogg” Booke spoke many languages, once studied to be a rabbi, and was an officer in the OSS (forerunner to the CIA) during WW2 and through Korea

*Ben “Cooter” Jones entered politics after the series and won a U.S. House seat which he later lost to Newt Gingrich (whom he illegally stalked)

*Sonny “Enos” Shroyer is a case of an EXTREMELY talented actor who was hopelessly typecast by his grinning bumpkin role. I’ve seen him on stage as Big Daddy (CoaHTR) and as a demonic pioneer in a play about the settling of Alabama and he was fantastic in both roles.

*Catherine “Daisy” Bach is a direct descendant of Johannes Sebastian Bach, is half Mexican, and speaks fluent Spanish and German

Why these things stay in my head ich weiß nicht, but they do (and there’s no such thing as useless knowledge- today I was asked how to get rid of armadilloes in a yard and was instantly able to say ‘powdered coyote urine’ from having the same problem as a kid: haven’t thought of that in 30 years and had you told me it’d come in useful earlier this week I’d have thought… “ok”). Plus you’ll be amazed what “useless” info can help you find exactly the right info source on a completely unrelated subject- I’m actually writing an article on that phenomena at the moment entitled “Spanky and the Alien’s Progeria”.

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James Best’s best (har!) performance might have been in Shock Corridor (1963).

All of the cast members are still alive except for Denver Pyle and Sorrell Booke, I believe.

20

Yep. I was kinda hoping they’d use Dever Pyle’s death to have another reunion movie centered on Uncle Jesse’s funeral. Hazzard would be so full of Dukes that Roscoe and Cletus wouldn’t know who to chase.

At the same time, bring in Hughie Hogg to claim he’s the rightful heir to all of JD’s holdings. And have Hughie investigated by an FBI agent covering crooked county bosses.