I have a question about “South Park” and its (sometimes hilarious) depiction of Jesus. It has been a while since I have seen an episode with him, and I am wondering – does he actually have any powers? Is he ever depicted doing anything mystical or magical? Because, off the top of my head, I’m just not recalling any instances of this happening. Please enlighten me!
He throws a mean glaive. Since this weapon wouldn’t work in real life, he must have some special mystic ability to use it.
He used his death and resurrection power to escape from prison in the movie.
I don’t think it was in the movie… I thought it was the easter episode?
His abilities vary by episode.
In “Super Best Friends” his powers are portrayed as hilariously inept stage magic (“Everybody, turn around!”), but he does have amazing carpentry skills.
In “Fantastic Easter Special” he tells Kyle he only has powers after being killed and resurrected (so Kyle has to kill him so he can come back and defeat the bad guys).
In “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Jesus” he literally talks to God.
In “Red Sleigh Down” he heals Santa’s broken legs.
Big deal. Kenny can do that too…
Oh, right - Kyle begged Jesus not to let anyone know he’d been killed by a Jew. 
Okay, great info so far! I needs to watch some of these episodes. Fun stuff!