Well… I was in town today, shopping idly, when under the new Christmas tree I was stopped by a woman carrying a banner with the words “Jesus is Coming.”
Note - I was wearing a top with the words “Jesus is coming - Look busy!” on it.
She asked me, “Have you taken Jesus into your life?”
“Nope,” sayeth I.
“So you’re not a Christian?”
“I’m a Hindu,” I said.
“You know, I was once like you,” she said, dreamily. “A heathen. But I was saved. I am now with Jesus and I’m going to heaven.”
“That’s nice. I’m going to be reincarnated.”
“You know that reincarnation is the pits of hell, don’t you? You know you’re going to burn in hell!!”
“No, I’m not!”
“Come to our prayer meeting! You’re only young, we can save you!”
“I don’t want to be saved!”
Any thoughts? I don’t want to go on, because it gets boring… but has anyone else been stopped in the street like this?
I spent all of elementary school and high school evading my friends’ attempts to save me. So far, so good. However, I don’t think a stranger has ever bothered to push religion on me (excepting, of course, the door-to-door kind), so I don’t know what to tell you about Jesus Lady.
I think the “look busy” part is pretty funny, though.
Fortunately for me I actually listened. And thought. And changed.
I consider myself saved now. I hadn`t even thought abvout it before that time. I thought “saved” was a term other religious denominations used to mean “learned” or “Bible thumper”. I now realize what it means to be saved, and I have this person to thank.
Loneraven ------ I like the way you strung that person along. Sounds like my kind of humor. When someone asks a dumb question, I like to run with it.
From my own experience, the best way to deal with these people is to be friendly but firm. I usually say something like: “I appreciate what you’re doing, but I have my own religion.” Acknowledge them (it’s a little different when you’re dealing with someone in person instead of with a faceless telemarketer where you can just hang up the phone).
If they try to engage you into an argument, just keep repeating the above statement. That is if you are stuck with them in a social situation and can’t easily get away. If they are just some stranger in the street accosting me, I don’t hesitate to say, “I’m not interested”, and keep walking.
Don’t let them pull you into an argument. If they ask you what exactly “your own religion” is, don’t answer. Whatever you say, it will be used to pull you into an argument. Just keep smiling and repeating that you are not interested. Try to change the subject and get away if at all possible. Of course, I realize that with some religious zealots it’s impossible to change the subject, because no matter how unrelated, they will bring every topic of conversation around to their God-obsession.
I always convieniantly convert to Judaism moments before they start talking to me. “I’m sorry, I’m Jewish” has so far stopped everyone from going on past “Have you been saved? Never mind then.”
I have found in the past that if I don’t have to interact with them for any length of time, the proper response to “Have you accepted Jesus” or whatever is “Yes.” For some reason, this often surprises them.
Why is it that the nuts who try to convert others are always converts themselves? Like the born-agains. Whereas people who were born into a religion (like Jews, for instance) never try to preach to or convert anybody. They just practice their religion in a quiet, dignified manner, respecting the views of those who are not part of it. The ones who “found” religion later in life on the other hand, are also the biggest fanatics.
I’ve got a three block walk to work. About once a month I’m crossing the street to avoid pamphlets. Although, one time I wasn’t paying attention as I was walking along the sidewalk only to encounter a Watchtower right in my face with a smiling girl attached to it. My first and only reaction was to hiss like a cat as loud as I could. It seemed to scare her away. Maybe I need to dress up like Isaac and say “He wants you, Malachai” next time…
I guess I’m just not one that likes religion in my face…
When i encounter these yahoos on the street, I smile and take the phamplet and as soon as it touches my hand I drop it and scream in agony (as if it burned me), the trick is to KEEP WALKING (but I like the hissing thing!).
I used to recruit, err “make disciples”, all the time in my old church (Intl Churches of Christ). You know what used to annoy me the most? The person who keeps walking without acknowledging I’m speaking to them. Used to piss me off royally.
That tidbit might be useful if you’re harassed, err “shown the light”
I have a couple of Hindu friends who have recieved some sort of grief (or at times, amusement) at living so close to the Deep South. The head antic-gator has a few things bout her I heard about later.
IndianBoy (dot, not feathers, as implied above) is is approached by say, Betsy Sue. Formal small talk. I can’t remember what it was; whether it was an invitation to a prayer metting he declined or what. So I’m going to go with that one. He declines offer. She informs him of her wishes he has a nice time in hell.
So IndianGirl (dots, not feathers. As implied above) is approached by, let’s call her, Betsy Sue. She asks her if she has considered joining another religion. Girl says yes, Buddhism. And oh the look on Betsy Sue’s face. I gather it was a mix of shock, horror, realizing someone got put in their place, and just more shock.
Some of Besty Sue’s gems:
Harry Potter is Satanic! (Whilst IndianBoy, IndianGirl, and EpiscopelianGirl discuss plans to see the latest Harry Potter movie Betsy Sue easedrops and decides to make this revelation public)
Halloween is Satanic!
Santa Claus is Satanic!
The Easter Bunny is Satanic!
I was sitting in a public square enjoying a beautiful sunny day when I spotted a woman with a bag of pamphlets winding through the crowd towards me. She paused to push the pamphlets on the people she passed, but continued to make headway in my direction. I was starting to get worried when I spotted a man clutching a Koran coming from the other direction. I was fortunate enough that they met each other before either met me; they sat at a bench nearby and didn’t bother anyone else for the rest of the afternoon.
I’m still not sure which god it was that intervened on my behalf…
