I think they don’t want to feel like idiots for their recent choice since their numbers are few comparatively to the rest of secular members of religion who are secure and happy in their lives. Misery loves company.
When I was maybe 9 or 10 I went to an after-school program at the YWCA. We were doing some weird scavenger hunt around the neighborhood and the last thing on our list was ‘Help a stranger’ (of course, the counselors were with us so we didn’t end up conversing with drug dealers or something). So I saw some old lady on the street corner and I asked her very politely if she needed help with anything.
She says: Why, as a matter of fact, I do! Will you listen to a story?
Okay, I think, she’ll tell me some story and then we’ll get back to the Y and get cookies or candy or whatever it is they give us! Great!
Her: Have you been saved?
Me: Uh…
Her: Well, would you like to be saved?
Me: Sure, whatever.
So she tells me the story of Jesus and how you can be saved if you accept him, blahblahblah. All I’m thinking is ‘Okay, cool, I’m saved. Now let’s go get the candy!’ Then she had me recite some dumb prayer and pronounced that I was indeed saved! O, happy day! Then started hugging me. Not like, quick “friendly” hug, like ecstatic bear hug. When she stops hugging me, I walk away and say “Cool, I’m saved.” I hadn’t really taken any of that in.
Now I realize just how weird that whole experience must have been.
OpalCat’s site has a collection of shirts she’s made/thought of making with one of them being “I found Jesus! He was behind the couch the whole time!”.
Or when they say “Jesus is comming”, respond thus-
Oh?! Damn, I thought that was a bird.
Argh, when Jesus is coming that is.
i dont like people to push religion, but hey, its just what some do. i was always fond of vaisnavas, or hare krsnas. i used to enjoy chanting and sunday feasts…i always tell christians that they missed the comming of christ, his name was ac Bhaktivendanta Swami Prabhupada, or Prabhupad as devotees so lovingly refer to him…anyway, it pisses people off and i just laugh because i realize jesus was just a man, possibly a political figure and Prabhupad did alot to help westerners learn about krishna…
I have not been approached in a while, but if someone says to me “jesus is coming” I plan on saying something like “Oh great and my apartment is a mess, and my hair…” and walk off. I like the other suggestions base on “have you found Jesus” or Have you been saved". Hopefully I can remember to use them if I am bothered by them.
Well, once, but I guess I was asking for it.
I am and was at the time a deist spiralling slowly into Hinduism (or some variant thereof). I was doing yearbook work at a youth revival in my old high school’s gym, and naturally, there were a lot of Lord-praisings and prayers. Fine. I believe in (a) God. I’ll spare you the details of my beliefs, but He’s not an evil, sword-of-fire-wielding beast of a deity, so I like Him. I join in. All gods are just facets of the same Supreme Taco Supremo del Universo to me. No camera slung around my shoulder and notebook in the crook of my arm will get between me and whatever lies ahead after I die.
Fine and dandy, getting brownie points with dem Herrgott. Until the end. They sent out their evangelical stormtroopers who fanned throughout the room and gathered groups to pray and be saved by the Laaaawd. I assumed since this was a Christian gathering, and a Southern Baptist one at that, everyone was saved already in the accepted fashion. Heck, even I was saved and baptised years before. It was the thing there then. Like getting your ear pierced.
A Soldier of God approached me and asked me if I had accepted the Lord as my savior and if I would like to join his little group and pray. I politely declined, saying I had already found my way and am perfectly fine, thank you very much for your consideration. I waited a few seconds to walk off, did a few interviews and photos and was never seen there again.
The best parries to an evangelist are both truthful and polite.