Jesus, Ozzy... know when to quit!

What are you now, like, a 100 years old? Being a long time fan, I am inexplicably drawn to The Osbournes show, but seeing you dodder around is getting to be more than I can bear! You have (had) a fruitful career, but geez, maybe it’s time to remove the black nail polish, hang up the leather pants, and enjoy retirement.

The clincher was last night’s show, which featured, among other things, you riding around on a Lark (old people) electric scooter, and clenching your (hurt) leg in the middle of the show. All the while wearing what appear to be Rockport walking shoes. I know you broke your leg a while back, but the visual of you on that scooter is all I can think of. Now you are still 100 times cooler than I’ll ever be, but maybe it’s time to concentrate on your golf swing.

BTW, Sharon is a serious babe.
Your fan,
Macro Man

[Ozzy]mumble mumble mumble mumble fuck you mumble mumble mumble[/Ozzy]


I think one of the tenets of rock’n’roll is that the great ones burn out before their time while the offensively mediocre stick around for eons tormenting Waverly with their continued presence. The following anecdotal evidence is submitted for your perusal:
John Lennon – Dead
Ozzy – Alive and well
John Bonham – Dead
All members of Kiss – Alive and well

I could go on, but the conspiracy is clear. I wouldn’t be so annoyed if I could simply avoid the vile musical abominations, but even the goddam ‘modern’ and ‘alternative’ rock stations will conjure up these undead rocktathletes form time to time.

I’n Ozzy’s defense, I think he was already quite incoherent and chronically disoriented when he was 25 years old.

Only if you’re just counting the original members. Eric Carr (Peter Criss’ replacement) died of cancer in 1991.

Oh, don’t hassle Ozzy. The show was Sharon’s idea.

How does Paul McCartney fit into that theory, Waverly?

Phil Dennison seems to be absent, so I’d like to take the opportunity as his friend and admirer to defend Paul McCartney. As Phil taught me, McCartney has a profound instinctive grasp of music theory in the same way that Ramanujan grasped number theory. He has produced incredibly beautiful music. (Have a look, for example, at the ingenious modulations in Yesterday.) He was the pioneer rock artist who played melodic bass, rather than just a thumpa-thumpa oompah beat. He gave the Beatles a sophistication that they would have sorely lacked without him, adding to the band elements of French chanson, British folk, Tin Pan Ally, and classical music. Ask any serious professional rock musician whether McCartney has had a noteworthy influence on them, and they’ll tell you. He greatly deserves to be classified as great.

Well, to be fair, Jesus went on hiatus when he was thirty-three and hasn’t been seen since.


Thank you.

I’ve seen Him. He’s very much alive and well, thanks.

Everyone knows that in some metaphorical sense, Paul is dead. Just listen to the White Album backwards.

And yes, he is one of the great ones.

The scariest thing about Ozzy’s incoherence is the fact that he’s only in his early 50s. Everything in moderation, kids. I did like him more when he was in Sabbath, and I don’t mind seeing him on this TV show (hey, it’s better than what MTV usually puts out), but seeing him dodder around with his pretty fucked up family is a little awkward sometimes. I mean, I’ve always kind of wanted to meet him, but after seeing this show, I’m not sure I would understand him in a conversation.

Does that make him one of the ubiquitous mediocre ones?


The lowest of the low, actually.

Buncha fuckin people fuckin bitchin bout a old fuckin rock star.


Ozzy is adorable !

His personality carries the show.
I can’t explain it, but thats the way it is.
He has charisma, if you will.
Kelly’s adorable too. I’d like to see what she’s like when she gets older.

Yes, Sharon is a babe, but I saw an older picture of her, and she wasn’t a babe then.
Maybe she had work done?
She has lost weight since she got married.

I still love the ham throwing episode.:confused:

In Ozzy’s defense, he’s on some pretty serious anti-psychotic meds, which have Parkinson’s-like side effects.

Ozzy is awesome. Yes, he’s doddering, drug-addled and difficult to understand, but The Osbournes is a riot, and to add to what vanilla said, Ozzy is its heart.

Why should Ozzy be put out to pasture when he can be on our T.V. screens weekly, giving us belly-laughs, warm fuzzy moments, and the best argument ever for treading lightly where the recreational drugs are concerned?

American T.V. (and MTV in particular) is notorious for focusing exclusively on the under-30 crowd. Finally there’s a brilliant, popular show featuring a guy over 50. I think we need more Ozzy, not less.

Of course, I’ve never heard his music.