What are you now, like, a 100 years old? Being a long time fan, I am inexplicably drawn to The Osbournes show, but seeing you dodder around is getting to be more than I can bear! You have (had) a fruitful career, but geez, maybe it’s time to remove the black nail polish, hang up the leather pants, and enjoy retirement.
The clincher was last night’s show, which featured, among other things, you riding around on a Lark (old people) electric scooter, and clenching your (hurt) leg in the middle of the show. All the while wearing what appear to be Rockport walking shoes. I know you broke your leg a while back, but the visual of you on that scooter is all I can think of. Now you are still 100 times cooler than I’ll ever be, but maybe it’s time to concentrate on your golf swing.
BTW, Sharon is a serious babe.
Your fan,
Macro Man
I think one of the tenets of rock’n’roll is that the great ones burn out before their time while the offensively mediocre stick around for eons tormenting Waverly with their continued presence. The following anecdotal evidence is submitted for your perusal:
John Lennon – Dead
Ozzy – Alive and well
John Bonham – Dead
All members of Kiss – Alive and well
I could go on, but the conspiracy is clear. I wouldn’t be so annoyed if I could simply avoid the vile musical abominations, but even the goddam ‘modern’ and ‘alternative’ rock stations will conjure up these undead rocktathletes form time to time.
Phil Dennison seems to be absent, so I’d like to take the opportunity as his friend and admirer to defend Paul McCartney. As Phil taught me, McCartney has a profound instinctive grasp of music theory in the same way that Ramanujan grasped number theory. He has produced incredibly beautiful music. (Have a look, for example, at the ingenious modulations in Yesterday.) He was the pioneer rock artist who played melodic bass, rather than just a thumpa-thumpa oompah beat. He gave the Beatles a sophistication that they would have sorely lacked without him, adding to the band elements of French chanson, British folk, Tin Pan Ally, and classical music. Ask any serious professional rock musician whether McCartney has had a noteworthy influence on them, and they’ll tell you. He greatly deserves to be classified as great.
The scariest thing about Ozzy’s incoherence is the fact that he’s only in his early 50s. Everything in moderation, kids. I did like him more when he was in Sabbath, and I don’t mind seeing him on this TV show (hey, it’s better than what MTV usually puts out), but seeing him dodder around with his pretty fucked up family is a little awkward sometimes. I mean, I’ve always kind of wanted to meet him, but after seeing this show, I’m not sure I would understand him in a conversation.
His personality carries the show.
I can’t explain it, but thats the way it is.
He has charisma, if you will.
Kelly’s adorable too. I’d like to see what she’s like when she gets older.
Yes, Sharon is a babe, but I saw an older picture of her, and she wasn’t a babe then.
Maybe she had work done?
She has lost weight since she got married.
Ozzy is awesome. Yes, he’s doddering, drug-addled and difficult to understand, but The Osbournes is a riot, and to add to what vanilla said, Ozzy is its heart.
Why should Ozzy be put out to pasture when he can be on our T.V. screens weekly, giving us belly-laughs, warm fuzzy moments, and the best argument ever for treading lightly where the recreational drugs are concerned?
American T.V. (and MTV in particular) is notorious for focusing exclusively on the under-30 crowd. Finally there’s a brilliant, popular show featuring a guy over 50. I think we need more Ozzy, not less.
