btw, the “Cabbage Patch Jesus” actually goes by the name “The Jesus Doll TM”. THere is also “Huggie Jesus”, “My Best Friend Jesus”, “Jesus Comes 2 Play”, “Jesus Beanie”, and “Baby Bible Pals Jesus” from different companies.
I was also searching for Jesus action figures (found two) and Jesus hand puppets (I found arm puppets with flapping mouth but no hand puppets).
If I took a stuffed Jesus doll out to dinner with friends…
Me to the Waitress (as I point to Jesus)- “Yes, we’ll have a fish sandwich & a pitcher of water and He’ll take care of it from there.”
Puppet Jesus. I think it’s just an arm puppet though. I searched for “puppet ministry” on eBay–evidently, these things are quite popular (though I fail to understand why any puppet ministry would need a Bozo the Clown puppet to spread any sort of message).
fotosbyfrank – I have no idea if you’re being serious or not. I don’t care. That’s the funniest thing I have read in a long time!!
There’s a comedian who has a routine, performed on the Bob & Tom radio show, which I now have on CD. It’s a baseball game, featuring Jesus at the bat, and other assorted sacriligious hilarties. Example: Beer vendor: “Water! Water! Getchyer water … oops. Wine! Wine! Getcher wine here!” Jesus is interviewed, and of course he has a Hispanic accent. It’s great. Maybe someone knows the comedian.
And I’m a lifelong Catholic and I find this stuff hysterical. (Then again, I was raised by a mom who, during dinner preparation, would “bless” us with a stalk of wet celery.)
Oh, and I own a glow-in-the-dark BVM, as well as a concrete Virgin yard statue, and one of St. Francis. (He’s kinda small, and currently about hip-deep in impatiens at the moment.)
I want Martial Arts Jesus. Good thing he appears to be a ref in that sparring match, though. He’d probably be hard to beat. And I’m not sure I’d want to be in front of him as he was throwing high kicks in robe.
Yup, I’m goin’ straight to hell…
Some good came out of the wretched animated film, Anastasia.
The film’s primary villain was (a completely inaccurate version of) Rasputin. This resulted in a Rasputin, the Mad Monk Happy Meal Toy. It’s a statuette about 3 inches high, robed, with arms spread. From the back, it is easily mistaken for a dashboard saint or even Jesus. From the front, the green skin, diabolic eyebrows, and the long black beard make it clear that this a figure of pure eeeevil.
Though both pictures show Rasputin with his arms down, they pivoted where they joined the robe. This makes the Debauched One look as though he’s offering benediction or parting the Red See.
My favoritist bit of religious kitsch is a Cruxifiction Snow Globe. (I kid you not.) I got it about 30 years ago in Palisades Amusement Park in New Jersey. I love the way the snowflakes swirl around Mt. Calvary when you shake it up.
I can understand a Nativity Snow Globe, but a Cruxifiction?
Cheezy-creezy, Eve, that is about the funniest tacky Jesus thing I’ve ever heard of. And I have heard of a lot.
In my dormitory at seminary, we had the Tacky Jesus Wall - students, in their travels, collected various crass and tasteless bits of religious imagery and the like, such as the “winking” 3-D crucified Jesus (he was supposed to be either eyes-closed or eyes-open, but the 3-D bit didn’t work well…it was found in a bazaar in Tel Aviv) or the Talking DaVinci’s Last Supper Clock (“I’m John, the apostle Jesus loved. It’s two o’clock!”). What we really needed in our collection was an inflatable Jesus or bling-bling Jesus.
I know, I know: we’re all going to burn in hell…
Speaking of the Man, back in the day when I worked in retail, a friend who worked in Fine Jewelry came over to my department one day, practically doubled-over in laughter. Seems a 20-something couple had come to him, wanting to buy a crucifix pendant. He showed them the selection in the case, and after looking at them for a while, the young lady asked, “Do you have any without the little guy on them?” :smack:
Finally, the tackiest item I ever saw was the Pope Sprinkler: an impact sprinkler with a figure of Pope John Paul II as the center post/sprayer, and the impact arm was the pontiff’s right arm raised in blessing! I REALLY wish I’d bought one when I saw it…
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