Jesus-man! He's everywhere!!

The BBQ Pit
1

It’s really fine with me if folks wanna believe in whatever they want to. Get your inspiration from the pattern of Pock, Snackle and Crap in your breakfast bowl? Kewl. Do you have an inspired ferret who whispers divine truths in your ear? Neat. Just do the rest of the world a favor and STFU about it, OK?

The latest divinely touched party is Lucille Lopez, who claims that Jesus appeared on a towel she used to clean her air conditioner. Yeah. :rolleyes:

Looks more like Wilford Brimley to me.

Let’s see-underpass, bathroom wall, cheese sammitch, pancake, towel… He does get around. (and you need better reps-these folks are whackers)

2

The face looks like someone with a serious need for Botox or two black eyes. I’m not seeing Jesus at all.

But if the lady in question sees Jesus, who am I to question her? I personally think she’s an idiot, but if it gets her through the day, more power to her.

Robin

3

Oh I don’t know - a rational human being, perhaps? Is religion really so imposing that you can’t call an idiot an idiot?

4

I don’t object to this lady seeing Jesus in her cleaning towel. I do object to Eyewitness News treating this incident as something deserving of airtime in a news program.

5

I would like more attention to be paid to non-religious apparitions. Seems like the news media only care about towel dirt, pancakes, refrigerator mildew, etc., assuming the forms of Jesus or Mary. What about - just by way of example - Elvis?

Then again, try getting a high-speed police chase on the air if it’s not happening in Southern California, or a missing person case if it doesn’t involve a perky middle class white woman. TV news is that kind of business.

6

I always love these Jesus sightings. 'cause, you know, there are just tons of Polaroids of the guy to compare these things to.

7

Nitpick: It was Jesus’ mom who appeared on the underpass.

But, yeah, these people who see images of Jesus and Mary everywhere? The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.

8

No, but then I’m not her. What she says or does has no bearing on my life.

Simply put, she can believe what she wants. She’s not really hurting anyone, she’s just coming across like an amusing idiot.

Further thought: Why can’t people see Richard Dawkins or Christopher Hitchens in their cleaning rags? It’d be a welcome change.

Robin

9

I love the way the OP wrote it, though.

Jesus-Man, Jesus-Man, Does whatever a deity can,
Takes your sins, any size,
Appears on items of many kinds,
Look out!
Here comes the Jesus-Man!

10

I think that the next time I see anything in a towel or pond or pasta, I’m going to make it Vishnu or Buddha or Mary Tyler Moore. Just to mix things up a bit…

11

This is clearly a ghost. I’m concerned for the woman that she does not see that this is clearly a ghost. By the way, my neighbors dog keeps telling me to shoot people.

12

You’re clearly hearing things. Your neighbor’s dog is telling you to boot people. He told my cat to tell me to tell you.

13

When a dog tells you to shoot people, the proper response isn’t to go shoot people, it’s to tell him “No, no! Bad dog! Bad dog!”

14

So I had a craving for popcorn this evening - which is not unusual, as I have cravings for popcorn all the time.

I made a big pot of popcorn, ate a handful, and then was over and done with the whole popcorn thing - this is not unusual either, as no matter how great and consuming my lust for popcorn, it is always completely sated after one handful, after which the thought of popcorn makes me a little nauseous.

So now I have this big pot of oog-inducing popcorn on my stove, and I need somewhere to put it - counter-space is at a premium in my apartment, and so I elected to put the pot on top of the fridge - this is not unusual, as this is where popcorn normally goes once I dont want to look at it anymore.

I had picked up the pot and was lifting it up on top of the fridge, when, somehow, the pot clipped the top of the fridge, and a shower of hot popcorn rained down upon me - again, not unusual, as I drop things all the time.

But now for the unusual part! I turned to examine the extent of the spillage, when lo!

And behold!

The face of Jesus stared back up at me, outlined in stark and buttery relief against my kitchen floor. One might have thought that unpopped popcorn kernals would make for beady and suspicious eyes, but in the face of The Lord, they were kind and merciful, if a little greasy looking.

I was so excited! Surely this was some sort of divine event, popcornstantiation, or something like that. I ran for my camera - and unfortunately, in my haste, stepped directly on the nose of The Lord. Which was greasy, as previously stated, causing me to slip and scatter Him to pieces.

I was bummed.

I’m not sure what this means for my chances of getting into Heaven (which were probably never to great to begin with, given my heathen way of life), but either way, it was a bitch getting all that popcorn off the floor.

love
yams!!

15

It’s a full figure Jesus, side on. He seems to be hunched over praying, with a big black hummingbird behind his head.
And the Flying Spaghetti Monster put the image there with his noodly appendage.

16

Jesus in a dog’s ass.

17

Now that’s a rectum that looks like da man!

18

Yanno… I’m worried now that I’m going to be seeing Jesus in any dog’s ass from now on.

(Is that a picture of the dog that’s talking to lobstermobster? It would explain so much.)

19

Exactly. The Catholic Church has had the monopoly for far, far too long.

I don’t wanna go all Martin Luther here, but after this we might wanna take a look at miracles and exorcisms… :dubious:

20

my fellow nashvillians may remember the Nun Bun. Those were heady times.