Across from the local wal-mart, there is an undeveloped lot with a large “for sale” sign on it. Underneath this sign, a woman had placed two large pieces of cardboard with this written in sharpie.
What made this slightly more ridiculous was that the woman who had apparently written the sign was there, peeking above the sign and scowling at people who drove by.
Today was a funny kind of day.
I’d like to find where she lives and make condom-wiener dogs and tie them to the antenna of her car.
I think they’re spreading. Terminate with extreme prejudice.
Wait…Jesus is currently blaming God for diseases?
Is that supposed to mean Jesus has some sort of hereditary condition?
[QUOTE=Hal Briston]
Wait…Jesus is currently blaming God for diseases?
Is that supposed to mean Jesus has some sort of hereditary condition?
[/QUOTE]
To tell you the truth, I actually read it like that until I realised that there’s supposed to be a definite break after that “will.”
[QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead]
To tell you the truth, I actually read it like that until I realised that there’s supposed to be a definite break after that “will.”
[/QUOTE]
Took me a minute too. It was a great mental picture though.
“Daaaaaaaad. Cut it out with all the diseases. You’re mean.”
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]
I’d like to find where she lives and make condom-wiener dogs and tie them to the antenna of her car.
[/QUOTE]
That would take too many condoms. I’m looking at a clown balloon. My measuring tape reveals it to be 11.5" long by 3/8 wide. A condom just doesn’t have the write aspect ratio. Twists would also be dificult as rather than pinching a small section back down to 3/8, you’d have sections about an inch across. In balloon art, it’s necessary for sections to exert pressure on each other. You’d have to tie off sections of condom, and the knots would space the bubbles too far apart. You could use more than one condom. But, this quickly becomes an expensive joke. Clown balloons OTOH cost roughly six cents per.
Plus, your hands (and either your mouth or your pump) would smell like lubricant and spermicide.
I say just go with either a single finger cot, or a finger cut from a surgical glove. Pour in some softboiled egg white and some salt, inflate and tie off.
Me, I’d be going into the Wal-Mart, buying the biggest box of condoms they had, and waiting untill nightfall.
I guess I should clarify: I’m thinking “condom crop circle.”
So, I’m pledging to do something reactive to this. Mr. Wolf, are you close enough for a Doper-Society intervention?
[QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead]
To tell you the truth, I actually read it like that until I realised that there’s supposed to be a definite break after that “will.”
[/QUOTE]
So if I don’t cease all fornication and homosexuality, then Jesus will carry on with his in perpetuity? Jesus is in some big bisexual celestial clusterfuck, somewhere?
I’m not sure I like parsing it that way, either. 
[QUOTE=Harborwolf]
What made this slightly more ridiculous was that the woman who had apparently written the sign was there, peeking above the sign and scowling at people who drove by.
[/QUOTE]
This reminds me of that great saying, “Dear Lord, protect me from your fan club.”
[QUOTE=DocCathode]
That would take too many condoms. I’m looking at a clown balloon. My measuring tape reveals it to be 11.5" long by 3/8 wide. A condom just doesn’t have the write aspect ratio. Twists would also be dificult as rather than pinching a small section back down to 3/8, you’d have sections about an inch across. In balloon art, it’s necessary for sections to exert pressure on each other. You’d have to tie off sections of condom, and the knots would space the bubbles too far apart. You could use more than one condom. But, this quickly becomes an expensive joke. Clown balloons OTOH cost roughly six cents per.
Plus, your hands (and either your mouth or your pump) would smell like lubricant and spermicide.
I say just go with either a single finger cot, or a finger cut from a surgical glove. Pour in some softboiled egg white and some salt, inflate and tie off.
[/QUOTE]
Now this is a great post.
(whips off hat and stands with head bowed for thirty seconds)
Agreed. Only on the SDMB.
What made this slightly more ridiculous was that the woman who had apparently written the sign was there, peeking above the sign and scowling at people who drove by.
Killjoy is here! (if you’re old enough to get it)
[QUOTE=A.R. Cane]
What made this slightly more ridiculous was that the woman who had apparently written the sign was there, peeking above the sign and scowling at people who drove by.
Killjoy is here! (if you’re old enough to get it)
[/QUOTE]
I am – though only second-hand, of course 
– and I laughed.
[QUOTE=A.R. Cane]
What made this slightly more ridiculous was that the woman who had apparently written the sign was there, peeking above the sign and scowling at people who drove by.
Killjoy is here! (if you’re old enough to get it)
[/QUOTE]
And if you are old enough to get it, you’d remember that it was Kilroy was here. That’s pretty much what it looked like too, only more scowly.
I’ve got to head back up to Wal-Mart today after work. I’ll let you know if she’s still there.
[QUOTE=Harborwolf]
And if you are old enough to get it, you’d remember that it was Kilroy was here. That’s pretty much what it looked like too, only more scowly.
I’ve got to head back up to Wal-Mart today after work. I’ll let you know if she’s still there.
[/QUOTE]
T’was meant to be a paraphrase, that’s what was s’posed to make it humorous.
[QUOTE=A.R. Cane]
T’was meant to be a paraphrase, that’s what was s’posed to make it humorous.
[/QUOTE]
'Twas in fact what made me laugh.
[QUOTE=A.R. Cane]
T’was meant to be a paraphrase, that’s what was s’posed to make it humorous.
[/QUOTE]
:smack: Anybody else hear a whooshing sound? :smack:
Dude, I smelled the whoshing sound that time.
