Having experienced your humor, I had no doubt.
"All right everyone, climb off of each other and settle down! I’m Jesus Christ, your savior, and you can all just stop that fornication and homosexuality this instant! The Bible says that only the chaste and pure shall see the kingdom of heaven, and–hey, are you even listening to me? Knock it off!! Father O’Malley, I’m talking to you . . .
He who smelt it dealt it
It smells like…like…victory…
Invoking gods and jesuses, etc. to insult or threaten people is sad, silly, and a little scary, like all religious traditons.
You very much need to take pictures of this woman and her signs.
Maybe supply her cardboard and sharpies so she can update them weekly.
Osip
That part actually makes sense. She was probably worried that somebody would take down the sign if she wasn’ around, and just leaving the sign would have gotten her message out but not given people a chance to see what a righteous, faithful woman she was.
Actually, this suggests a second strategy.
I know the NT has a passage ‘Be not like those who pray louldly in the street and temple, but make your devotions in solitude’ I’m sure my wording is wrong, and I can’t remember if it’s said by Jesus, an apostle or a disciple. But, I know that there is a passage that unambiguously condemns making a public display of faith in order to impress others.
You could dress modestly, and approach her politely and remind her of this. She will have some quick excuse about how these people need her to preach to them.
Inquire, with friendly scepticism, when the Lord made her a prophet? What is her proof that she has been specially chosen from amongst the flock to be the voice of G-d? If she cites some passage like ‘The Lord has appointed me to preach good tidings’, ask where she was ordained and by whom. The NT contains a passage about a group of men who claim to be pious and cast out demons in the name of Lord, but Jesus says he’s never heard of them and that they do not do G-d’s work.
Ask her how Jesus will put a stop to homosexuality and fornication. Then ask, ‘And who are you to know the will of G-d?’. The Jews awaited a Messiah, but when he came, they knew him not. The Jews thought the law would be eternally binding, yet Jesus fulfilled it and released mankind from the old covenant. When the stone rolled away and Jesus walked from the tomb, (can’t remember who it was) looked on him and did not recognize him. He has promised us that he will return. But he has said ‘no man shall know the hour of my coming’. Who are you to claim to the know the Lord’s plan?
Finally, what did she do when she found the condoms? If she left them there, knowing that a child might find them and think them balloons, then she must attend to the beam in her eye. If she would protect the children, her duty is clear. She must scour the parking lot every day and remove any condoms she finds. The hymn tells us that “Jesus loves the little children.”. If she truly wishes to be Christ-like, she must love the children as well. She must love them enough to exchange standing still and holding a sign, to the filthy and demeaning task of cleaning a parking lot.
If she refuses to so, call her a Pharisee. Repeatedly. Appear to become very angry. Then, take a hold of your rage and say “I pray that you may come to truly know Jesus and not just his law.”
Actually, I have pictures. I’ll post a link when I’m not so “just home from worky.”
Also, new sign.
Now she’s worried about our souls and the furry little animals.
Or she thinks a dog exposed to a used condom will turn into Cujo.
I’m confused. It’s possible a stray dog would eat a condom. Dogs eat all kinds of things. Semen has a high salt content and dogs (like most mammals) are attracted to salt.
But, I can’t picture a bird species that would be interested in used condoms.
Yep, I think it’s in Matthew. Lemme check…
Yeah, it’s Matthew 6:5-6.
And He goes on and gives the “Our Father” (or, “Lord’s Prayer” for you heathen Protestants 
)
Anyhoo, I wonder what this woman would think if I informed her that my friends and I used to find used condoms in the parking lot or in the cemetary of the Catholic parish school we attended (school was right next to the church and the cemetary).
Thank you
My guess is that it would confirm her belief that the Catholic church strayed from the true path a long time ago and that all papists are hellbound.
Or maybe she’s warning us not to lick the wildlife, because, you know, no telling where those squirrels have been.
[Lando Griffin] So, don’t lick a toad![/Lando Griffin]
GAH! Nut joke…Overload…
Here’s the pictures. Now you can see the full text. the woman is the unabomber like figure perched on the box. You can see the second sign laying on the ground next to the first.
Hmm. Up until this point I thought we were dealing with a Maude Flanders gone somewhat senile. Now, I wonder if we are looking at the much more common delusional homeless person.
What’s the weather like near you Harborwolf? Is her clothing too warm for the weather?
Not really. It’s gone a bit chilly of late, from 70s and 80s to 50s and 60s. I’m not so sure on the delusional homeless part either. There isn’t much of a homeless issue here if there’s one at all and we have pretty good treatment for the mentally ill. If she were delusional homeless, she’d have been picked up yesterday when it started.
More likely she’s a mostly rational person. I think she’s right about what a slightly more aggressive Maude Flanders type would look like around this area. This also seems like something she spent some time on. Alias drove by earlier yesterday when the woman was putting her sign up. She hasn’t been yelling at anyone that I’ve noticed. Just sticking behind her sign for the most part like she doesn’t want to be seen. 
Oh god, any chance it’s some kind of experiment or performance art?
I doubt it. Performance art is generally louder (even when silent) and much less dificult to ignore.
:smack: “much MORE dificult to ignore”.
Woman with cardboard sign= easy to ignore.
Man riding tricycle made from an actual porcelain toilet= dificult to ignore.
I’d have to check to see how many of the tricycles they made. I know there were races involved.