Johnny Depp

I like Johnny Depp but no matter how hard my girlfriend tries she will never turn me into Johnny Depp. I am not saying anything because I am curious how far she will go but her obsession is starting wear on me. She told me today she ordered me Johnny Depp Cologne?? And the other day she told me when I slow down my speech a little I sound just like him, could I make it a point to try and talk a little slower! What the fuck!!

Do you ever wake up wearing eyeliner?

She wanted to put some on me a couple of weeks ago because jack sparrow looked so hot with it on.

Any guitars in your living room?

As a matter of fact I am refinishing one for her son, I don’t think there is a connection here though.

Wow. My wife is happy if I just shower daily.

I Heard that.

A friend of mine works with graphite. Even though he showers before leaving work, he usually doesn’t get all the graphite off, especially where eyeliner would be.

The first time I noticed it I was really creeped out.

I am a diesel mechanic by trade, very much the same as working on the exhaust system on truck when I have to use an air blower, looks just like eyeliner.

I’m mostly ambivalent about Mr. Depp, but I am a little concerned about anyone who sees him and thinks “I want to smell like that guy.”

You better keep her happy, or she might drop a deuce on your side of the bed!

Go for it just go easy on the gewgaws!

We imagine years ago, when he was smooth and poreless, when it seemed like all of the girls and some of the boys sighed over his pout and forelock, and he put on his first couple of chains and gewgaws, he must’ve made tinkling sound when he walked, like a wood fairy or something. Later, as the jewelry piled up concurrently with the affectations, he started sounding more like a windchime.

Now, he must sound like a box of pots and pans being thrown down a flight of steps.

He looks like the kind of guy who uses crystals instead of underarm deodorant.

Tell her that if this is going to work you must begin drinking $30,000 a month worth of wine.

And believes that bathing damages his natural animal musk.

[quote=“Alessan, post:15, topic:966652”]
musk
[/quote] that’s actually very scientific that is actually scientific

Is there some actor that you’d like for her to emulate? Turnabout is fair play.

Sausage? Sorry, I mean Sauvage. :smiley:

Well, Rasputin had no problem attracting women with his “natural musk”. There would probably be a market for Rasputin Cologne.

Maybe Betty White