God, who writes this crap? Is there a rule somewhere that the jokes (we’ll call them that… for now) that are written for video clip shows must be the worst jokes of all time? Are they written by 8 year olds for the amusement of monkeys? I mean, why can’t they write ONE FUNNY JOKE???
The worst offender is Matt Whathisname in the Animal Planet show “The Planet’s Funniest Animals.” My wife and I have watched that show for well over a year now… and still cringe every time we do. You see, the jokes this Matt guy is forced to say are HORRIBLE!!! Sometimes my wife and I feel sorry for the poor guy - he just looks absolutely miserable at times, and I wonder if he’s depressed because his job is to tell lame-assed jokes introducing the most banal collection of bad home-camera work in TV history*. Sometimes I can even read his mind… “This is what I moved out West to do? Is this the apex of my career - why, the very thought is about to make me cry: quick, get to a clip and fast!.”
I used to think nobody could tell worse jokes than Bob Saget of “America’s Funniest Videos”, but this Matt guy has set new lows in bad clip-show humor.
So, tell me: why do the jokes invariably suck? Anybody know?
*So why do we watch the show? The missus likes the puppies. But, imo, when you see one dog howl to a crying child, you kind of seen them all - but I love the missus and I keep quiet on the pups. But Matt is always fair game.
Wasn’t America’s Funniest Home Videos the first of this type of show? They had Bob Saget, who of course sucked, and I think it was kind of their schtick to have these terrible jokes. They didn’t know that the ten thousand copycat shows to follow would seize on that aspect too.
I’ve always wondered why they even bother to have a host, or even intros. If it’s funny, it’s funny, and dosen’t need some Z-list hack reciting material culled from “101 Jokes to Tell on the Short Bus.”
What bugs me the most, though, are the stupid voiceovers during the clips. If the event is humorous, none is needed; if it’s not, no amount will help. In short: shut up & roll the clips!
Ouch. Sad, considering that just yesterday I actually said (while watching the show) that PFA’s host was probably the second most annoying person currently on television. (Beaten out only by Carrot Top on those stupid phone company commercials.)
I believe it’s America’s Funniest Videos that Trace Beaulieu writes for nowadays. You know, I watched it recently for the first time in years, and the jokes were actually a good bit better than in the Bob Saget days. Must be TB’s doing.
It never occured to me that someone else wrote the jokes. And all this time I was mad at Matt Gallant (yep, I know his name). I like to call him Roger Lodger though (he reminds me of Blind Date’s host, Roger Lodge). How the poor guy stops himself from commiting suicide after the show, I’ll never understand.
Turn the sound off, the stereo on and you will have a lot more fun watching the show.
I have a friend who likes to play her favorite music on the stereo, but with Lawrence Welk on TV in the background…very strange, but also very funny.
FYI, although the ratings for AFV are decent, they have a hard time filling the audience to watch the taping. They actually PAY extras to come in and sit in the front rows and laughandlaughandlaugh at those lameassed jokes. (Notice the guys in front row with ties, and the women in nice skirts and dresses - as if a studio audience really looked like that. HA!)
Padding, m’man. They don’t get nearly enough clip submissions to fill a regular half hour. That’s why they use those old black-and-white photos and call it “news,” plus “Ani-mail” where they make up a retarded letter to introduce a clip (though I confess I’ll never get tired of that little terrier hanging by its teeth from the mail in the slot).
If you watch the show enough, you’ll notice they re-use clips with some frequency, just to get the show up to 30 minutes (20 minus credits and commercials). Indeed, I suspect they repurpose whole sections of the program; if they create 20 interchangeable 3-minute blocks, they can assemble them into a nearly infinite number of combinations of six, and thereby make it seem like they have more material than they do. Look, for example, at just how often his intro doesn’t have anything specific to do with the clips that follow; mostly, it’s just a generic animal-themed pun, and then he says, “Now, look at this.” Besides, are you really going to notice if Mr. Gallant isn’t wearing the same dopey polo shirt he had at the last break?
I do feel bad for him, though. Look in his eyes when he tells a joke, and pauses for some space of time in which the laugh track will be dubbed later. (What, you didn’t think a cheap-ass show like this actually had a real audience there, did you? I bet the whole studio isn’t bigger than my basement.) As he clenches his jaw and draws back his lips to display a facsimile of humor and charm, see the flinty edge in his eyes that says, “Please, kill me now.”
Actually, I feel the most sorry for him when he tries to introduce the commercials in a way that implies that the commercials are better than the show you are watching.
When a host has to imply that the upcoming commercial is better than their own show, you know he’s thinking “I must have made a bad career move somewhere…”.
There are very few jokes on PFA that make the video even funnier. Only one I can think of. The people stuffing ferrets into a mailbox, which was turned into a commercial for a board game called “Jumpin’ Ferrets.” Hilarious!
