Two gentlemen of the gay homosexual persuasion, having lived a long and loving life together, and coming to the end of their lives, were making plans for the disposal of their earthly bodies.
Speaking to the funeral director, they were informed that they could indeed spend eternity together side by side in adjoining plots, with a nice double headstone.
“That might be OK”, they said “but are there any other options?”. The funeral director said that to save a few dollars, the could both be buried in the same plot, one below the other, and with a smaller stone.
Fair consideration was given, and any other options were ask about. The funeral director said that the gentlemen could be cremated and the ashes could be stored together in the same, ummmmm… (gesture to show a what may appear to be a container, acting as if you have trouble recalling a word, until the audience says “urn?”, then say) fruit jar.
I was at a party and a woman I’d never met came up to me and asked, “What has two thumbs and loves to fuck?”
While I was standing there thinking, she gave me a double-thumbs-up and a huge smile. It took me a second, but then I started laughing.
So, I’m laughing and she’s frowning back. No, she insists, I’m totally serious. Not a joke. OK, play it that way and it’s maybe even funnier. But she persisted and it went from uncomfortably funny to downright weird.
One that comes to mind is a joke that requires any kind of a gesture.
Three guys walk into a bar and sit down in front of the bartender. Each starts making gestures with their hands.
Bartender asks man #1 “what are you doing?”
While repeatedly making a gesture like you’re taking something out of a bag and setting it up high somewhere - #1 man says, “I’m putting stars in the sky”
Bartender asks man #2 “what are you doing?”
While repeatedly making a gesture like you’re taking something out of the sky and putting it in a bag - #2 man says, “Too many stars. I’m taking them down”.
Bartender asks man #3 “what are you doing?”
While repeatedly making a gesture like the fingers of your left hand are making a running motion up your right arm - #3 man says, “Those guys are nuts! I’m getting out of here!”