Why couldn’t your niece potentially have relationships with men? Mentally disabled people can even have happy marriages, although in most cases they should not have children.
If this involved some kind of boundary violation, I apologize for jumping the gun.
I had never heard of Atyrau until I came to this board; Jtur references it all the time, and after seeing that post, I think he should go there (although they probably don’t want him there either). Telling a SIX-YEAR-OLD to “get over it”? Sounds like my childhood. :mad:
No, I didn’t. If she’s working at a place that hires a lot of MR/DD people, like a sheltered workshop, chances are he was too, UNLESS he was, for instance, her caseworker.
I really think we need more info from Chefguy if he’s willing to provide it before throwing accusations at his niece’s sister. She sounds remarkable in her devotion to her sister.
Her job was/is with a federal agency. She makes copies, and has been doing so for the past 30 years or so as a GS-2. The guy who was making some moves was her supervisor, which is questionable in most any case. She does indeed have a boyfriend, who is far worse off than she is, and marriage is just not in their future. My sister explained to the guy that while her daughter may act normally in many ways, she is not emotionally mature, and is completely naive about the machinations of some men (all of which he already knew). She was mainly putting him on notice that she was aware of his actions, and that as her daughter’s guardian, she was fully within her legal rights to intervene in an inappropriate relationship.
I have tried to interact with Jtur as if he were a fully realized human being in the past. This did not work. Every time I see one of his pearls of wisdom, I consider it my act of charity for that day not to take him to task. He is a sad old man, this is all he has. I have no way of knowing, but suspect, that cognitive issues might be at play as well. He misses key points in such a profound way, there has to be a reason, and I really din’t think he’s just a troll.
Maybe the guy doesn’t have the life skills, either. Maybe he thought there is nothing wrong asking out a late 30s adult woman, at least not anything wrong enough to be paid a visit by threatening relatives. That level of vigilance seems a little much. I understand talking to the guy but not with this over the top accusatory stance.
I read Jturds first response in the other thread and I actually agreed with him. His first post specifically addressed the victim and I agreed that you should tell the kid that sometimes bad things happen to you and you have to do your best to carry on.
Then he went on and on with his bullshit about not bring perpetrators to justice and I realized that sometimes assholes like Jturd exist and you just have to hand them some lube and point them to the nearest cactus.
It’s pretty messed up that there are people out there who are so disabled they are unable to give legal consent to a sexual relationship, but if we can’t fix the problem that’s the reality. I don’t know if Chefguy’s niece fall under that category but if she does no, she can’t be allowed to date people or have an adult relationship.
The majority of people who are interested in cultivating a relationship with someone with the “mental age of 12” as Chefguy describes do not have that person’s best interests in mind. They are most likely interested in satisfying their own needs and exploiting said disabled person.
Sad? Yes. But the mentally disabled do need someone watching out for their safety and protection.
JTurd strikes as the sort of person who’s gone through life being a bully and committing misdeeds and is terrified he’ll be called onto the carpet for it at some point. He’s selfish and don’t give a fuck about anyone else, he is without empathy except to the extent he empathizes enough with criminals to not want them punished so if he’s ever in the hot seat he won’t be punished, either. He’s a user, possibly an abuser, and a loathsome human being. Probably an advocate of might makes right. The sort who’ll claim they were beaten and abused as kids and they turned out alright (no, Jturd, you did NOT turn out alright).
I don’t think I’ve ever read anything the guy has ever written, but in general it’s good to be wary of anyone with the number 88 (or 14) in their user name.