Two rants:
Spoke with mom last night. Her a/c decided to croak, and it’s been pretty hot and humid here. She has a repair plan through the gas company. Suggested she call, noting she’s elderly with a health issue (recent heart attack). I know for a fact, she will be pushed to the front of the line. “Ohhh, noooo, I can’t do that!” Why not? It’s just “not right”. Ma, is it true you are no longer a spring chicken? Is it true you had three stents placed a few months ago? “But there are people worse off than me”.
Get off the phone with her, bitch to my daughter about how stubborn her grandmother is…“Sound like anyone you know, Mom?”
Oh, shut up.
Every month at dialysis we have very thorough blood testing. I’ll be honest, I tend to cheat the test. Like many people with PKD, I just do not process protein well. It makes me sick. I may LOVE to have a big ol’ burger or hunk of steak, but I will then be miserable for a few days. I’ve tried incorporating protein powder into food, eating protein bars, etc. My body just doesn’t do well. So, usually, the weekend before testing, I set myself up to be miserable. I clear my desk at work, in case I have to call in. Make myself a nest with books, sewing, and the TV remote. It sucks, but it’s better than having shit added to my dialysis runs (I’m allergic to one of the iron infusions and the other gives me headaches). That’s beside being nagged at by every damn employee at the dialysis center.
A few months ago, they started handing out calendars so we know when the assorted testing dates were coming up. The calendar said testing would be Tuesday, the 25th. Go in this morning… crap. So, those results are going to suck big time.
The worst part of it - I’ve been told SO many times by my nephrologist and the nurses there they they’ve never heard of someone having issues with protein, people with failed kidneys usually crave it. I’m not saying I don’t crave it, I’m saying it hurts. Physically hurts. They also tell me they’ve never heard of kidneys causing pain. I’m saying they do. Thirty pounds of pulsing uselessness cause pain. I get so tired of being told what I experience is nonsense. I get so tired of being scolded like a 4 year old for not doing something that hurts. How can I have any pudding if I don’t eat my meat? Well, I can’t have any pudding, anyways, so fuck the fuck off.
Dear fantasy writers of Earth: please note that water, as a rule runs downhill.
If one were, for example, to create a marshland by damming the Mississippi, one might consider placing the dam at the southern edge of the proposed marsh.
And if one were to create an entirely fictional city which features a fast-moving river and a landscape that slopes gently down to a dried-out sea basin, one might need to explain why the river does not run to the sea.
And with the rain falling upwards, do people keep tripping with their umbrellas open under their feet?
We had to put our cat Sydney down Tuesday evening. She’d gone into a steep decline over the last 24 hours - no interest in food, water, or even attention.
Mrs. Runestar’s very upset at the loss of her ‘cuddlebuddy’.
I’m so sorry, Runestar. 
Sorry, Runestar. We toasted Sydney with a glass of milk at dinner.
On a brighter note, Gumpy The Slow Dog had surgery today, growths were benign, and the surgeon said “Now, he’s had a lot of anaesthesia, he might be a little loopy…” when our regular vet chimed in with “But with Gumpy, how would you know?” And all the vet techs laughed (understandable; they’ve watched him bump into walls).
Yikes! Old roommate of wife is staying with us this weekend… in our miniscule house.
We just got a call: “So, my sister’s coming on this trip. And we thought she had a place to stay, but those people won’t return our calls… Ok, thanks! Oh, and I didn’t mention her kids – three little guys, but they shouldn’t be any trouble.”
Aaargh!
This house barely fits two of us. I’ll be sleeping in a sleeping bag in the (unfinished, dusty) basement.
Not to mention this place is NOT childproofed, nor does it have toys for anyone under 21. And food? Enjoy your bran flakes and kale, kiddies!
I’ll get dusting and make a grocery run, but that might be after they arrive… in TWO HOURS!
I would happily book them a hotel room.
Goddamn ants are too goddamn lazy to climb over the ledge of the goddamn ant baits!
I’m going to have to make little goddamn handicap ramps…
The Wife is in full Hostess Mode. She was the one smiling and saying “Oh, sure, spring an entire brood on us. In fact, pop out a few more on your way. We’d love to sleep next to the furnace tonight!”
And pay for it? These sound like experienced freeloaders (which may be why the other folks aren’t taking their calls) and this is probably what they were hoping for. Anyway, if it were me, if I went this route I would make sure it wasn’t anything better than Motel 6. You can bet those kids will be raiding the mini bar on your dime.
Is curtailing that much physical activity an option you’ve explored?
In your circumstances, I would happily book myself a motel room.
I’d be there, wide eyed, saying “No? Just NO. We’re not doing this. I am NOT sleeping in the basement. They can sleep on the couch and living room floor, but I’m sleeping in my own damned bed.”
Hell, when I was a kid, I remember sleeping on mattresses and sleeping bags in relative’s bedrooms, or 3 to a bed.
They’re not experienced anything… quite naive, and in the middle of family health crises, so not really thinking things through.
Now, if it’d been MY friends and progeny, The Wife’s immediate reaction would’ve been “Are you crazy?!? They can pay for their own Motel 6!”
Now, my plans are to just go about my usual hermit-y Saturday tomorrow, and let the guests amuse themselves. But just watch, I’ll meet the rugrats, they’ll be charming, and I’ll end up unbagging my best comics for them, making root beer floats, and taking them to the Vintage Arcade Pizza Joint.
My older cat is spraying all over the house. He sprayed my motherfucking books last night. I’ve been to the vet three times and she’s not blaming the little Abomination usurper I got a year ago, her contention is that he’s responding to cats outside (it’s mostly perimeter marking, front door, back door, windows, etc.) He does it right in front of me. Today he pissed all over the entryway doormat and I fucking lost it. He tried to hide and I hunted him down and threw him in the bathroom for a while until I calmed down. I can’t fucking stand that my house smells like cat piss. It’s humiliating and frustrating and makes me feel like a failure, especially because it seems like the harder I work on this issue, the worse the problem gets.
We are putting together a plan of attack this weekend, mostly focused on keeping both cats to a strict behavioral schedule filled with positive interaction. I know the cats are not responding well to my stress and upset, and I know my pissy cat does not understand why I’m upset which just makes it worse. He needs to start feeling more positive vibes in and around the places he’s pissing. We started both cats on transdermal Zoloft but it’s going to take a few weeks to see any effect. I’m just not doing the grandest at coping with the stress right now. It makes me worry I’m going to be a shitty mother. That’s pretty much what this all circles back to.
''I can’t even help my cats, how am I going to successfully take care of kids?"
All too true.
As an apparently single man, I have been asked to remove myself from a public playground. A man sitting on a bench reading a book *must *be eyeing the little girls with bad intent. In fact, I was there with my 3.5-year-old daughter, who was happily playing with some of her friends, but since I was in a public place I didn’t feel obligated to justify myself to the smarmy moms who asked me to leave. I just said I’m happy where I am, thanks for asking, and went back to reading my book. I’m lucky they didn’t call the cops.
You are welcome to talk to my daughter any time. She’d love it. She talks to everyone. People on the subway, in elevators, anywhere, and that’s just fine with me.
Well, rats. Brita apparently no longer makes filters for the water bottles I have. Which are also not made anymore.
Spice Weasel, it’s entirely possible your vet is correct. If you ever watch My Cat From Hell, inappropriate peeing (when not caused by an infection) is frequently a result of territorial fears. Is there any way you can block neighborhood cats from your yard or, failing that, prevent your cat from seeing out? Have you tried to run a blacklight outside to see if those outdoor cats are marking your yard or doors? If they are, the odor may be seeping in enough for your cat to smell. Is it possible to add cat shelves and the like to give your cat “safe” places to be? You might try checking out Jackson Galaxy’s website for strategies on dealing with the situation.
I wouldn’t worry about your ability to raise children. They’re not at all like cats, and after a few years they’ll be able to start telling you what’s going on. 
Seriously, I think you’ll be fine. No one is a perfect parent for either children or pets. The thing to remember is that you are doing your best and it’s okay if you aren’t perfect.
Whenever my cats would begin fighting I would spray the back door outside with Nature’s Miracle and that got rid of the free range Tom who was spraying there.
How did you get the Nature’s Miracle into your bladder?!