Didn’t see this till now.
Anyway it came from a cow, I hope.
If I put a plastic lid in the bathroom rubbish tin, don’t take it out & leave it there - go outside & put in the recycling. Its hard plastic, so its not recyclable of course. Every month this is news to you! :rolleyes:
Monday I sent in the last payment for my car.
Last night (Friday) some loser broke the passenger window of my just paid off car and stole some basically worthless stuff.
Disingenuous signs.
Last week I was headed over to the office of my slumlord to drop off some papers. Upon my arrival, I saw a handwritten sign taped to the door that said “Back in 5 Minutes.” Assuming (stupidly) that this meant that someone would be back in five minutes, more or less, I stood there, waiting. I stood there for, coincidentally, about five minutes, humming a little tune in my head and shuffling through the papers I had and contemplated the stupidity of their policies (you mean my roommate can basically hold me hostage for the rent until he “agrees” to taking my name off the lease? Even if my roommate is a deadbeat pothead who’s never done anything for himself in his life? Lovely) and thought about the errands I had to run that afternoon when one of the slumlord’s minions unlocked the door and peeked out.
“Oh, are you waiting for me?” she said. “I’m just having lunch, I’m going to be gone at least an hour.”
Uh, okay, all I wanted to do was hand over these papers. But good glory, woman, why not take the THIRTY-FIVE seconds out of your life and tear a new piece of spiral-bound paper out of your seventh-grade notebook and scribble a NEW sign, one that says, perhaps, “Back in 1 Hour” or “Back at 1:30” or “Gone Fishing” or “Screw Off, You Peasant Renters, Stop Bothering Us While We Swim In Giant Pools of Your Money like Scrooge McDuck” or “I Don’t Have The Intelligence of a Wharf Rat so I Think I’ll Keep Using This Yellowed Sheet of Notebook Paper Even though I Will Clearly be Gone for More Than Five Minutes.”
Clear communication. That is all I am asking for. I don’t care how you communicate your message to us. I do not. You want to spell it out in words, or semaphore flags, or smoke signals, or message by passenger pigeon, or by singing barbershop quartet, or by arranging Mexican jumping beans into a formation that says “Back in 1 Hour” and lighting them on fire by use of sparklers and putting up a sign outside that says “Come And See The World’s 10th Wonder - Exotic Flaming Insect Revue! - You Will Tell Your Friends About This A-Ma-Zing Encounter! - Cheap Admission - Souvenirs” and wear a top hat and be the emcee of this show? I DO NOT CARE. I do not care how you do it. Just be straight with me and I’ll be straight with you.
Another disingenuous sign I encountered the other day was the sign on the door of a business. A sign that had clearly come down from corporate that said “We’re Hiring, come in and fill out an application today!” Since I am unemployed, I did as the sign instructed and entered and requested to fill out an application. The employee looked at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look and said “Uh, we don’t do applications, we’re just accepting resumes.” Then–why–I--ARGH. Managers, why? It is not that hard to brief your employees! And if you’re not doing applications, why do you even have a sign to those ends! These bad signs are of the devil! They are going to drive me to drink (more)! I mean, really.
I think I need to lie down.
Dear soon to be former family member. We’ve had to listen to your self-righteous god-bothering bullshit since you started working at that small-time pederast factory, er, church, a year ago. Then come to find out you’re having one on with a traveling co-worker (pastor) while you put on this righteous pseudo-christian tone at every possible turn? Well fuck you and that two bit jesus weasel you’re whoring around with, you vile, black-heared, hillbilly, strumpet. Hopefully your daughter doesn’t learn your wretched lessons, you fucking fraud.
Yes, this happens with disturbing frequency. I had a boss once who would make the entire department interview candidates, but then didn’t solicit anybody’s input in making the hiring decision. You can imagine how motivated we were to ask intelligent questions.
A few to close out the month:
Daughter, dear, if you’re going to break up with your boyfriend, friggin’ DO IT!. Don’t mope around. Don’t let it slip to people in your circle of friends and hope he doesn’t find out. Don’t seek advice from a mutual friend who you know can’t be trusted. Don’t piss and moan about hurting his feelings. You gave me a bevy of reasons why you’re done with him. Now give HIM the list. For fuck’s sake, it’s been three months, not years! Okay, it has been your longest relationship, and three months is FOREVER for a 15 year old. But for chrissakes, piss or get off the pot!
Buddy, ol’ friend, ol’ pal? I don’t care about our horoscopes. The whole MJ/his daddy/Al Sharpton thing can be done with - especially since you feel the need to IM me in partial sentences rather than full ones (og forbid a paragraph of your opinion) setting off the DING! and blinky of the IM that can’t be turned off. The fact that you seem proud of ignoring our clients pisses me off to no end. And I am NOT the friggin’ manual. Look up shit yourself and quit being pissy when I say “I don’t know, look it up”. And quit making shit up to justify your ineptness. YOU are a reason government workers get a bad rap.
Teleworking ‘partner’? No, I don’t know where you left some important papers, I haven’t been in office since last Tuesday. You were there Wed/Fri/today. No, I don’t know the process of XYZ- as I told my buddy above, USE THE FUCKING MANUAL. And why do you schedule yourself for the quiet days on phones after being told to stop doing that? I am phones every damn Thursday this month - the day when our clients get the nastygrams. Thanks, asshole. Appreciate it.
Niece in law - you’re still a cunt. Your husband went out of his way to surprise you with an anniversary party, totally not a normal thing for him. Our family drove an hour to get there. You couldn’t be arsed to say ONE FUCKING WORD TO US. We watched your children. Mom bought the cake. Instead, you sat with your family and buddies and got shitfaced. Hell, when we tried to get a picture of you and your husband cutting the cake you squawked at him to get away from you. Yeah, that’s love.
Cat, stay off the fucking keyboard when I am working. And quit howling at 4 in the fucking morning. I love you to death, seriously, and lor’knows everyone knows how spoiled you are. I know you’re not feeling well and are probably not long for this earth. I just want to sleep a full night, not stumble around, feeding you in the middle of the damn night. I dread the day you’re gone - brings me to tears to even think of it - BUT then I think “Wow, I could sleep in!” and feel tremendously guily. Dammit.
That’s not very mini.
No, but I wasn’t feeling an entire thread dedicated to the trollop either, so, this was a decent second rant.
Fiance’s BFF (though soon to be demoted)/roommate Chris:
Yup, it’s been over a year since you moved in for a ‘few months’ while you renovated your house. Sure, you’ve given us rent money here and there when we mention that we need at least a share of the utilities. But I just can’t wait until you leave, hopefully in three weeks, which is what you told me the other day.
You don’t have any respect for anyone, and you’re a selfish bitch. We tell you our heating bill is outrageous, but you still come into the house during the cool spring and leave the front door open. I understand you like to sleep in a cool room, but leaving your window open in the winter and then forgetting to close it for almost two weeks while away for work just isn’t fair, especially when you don’t pay bills every month.
You use the hidden spare key because you forgot yours but then don’t put it back, and then the next time one of us accidentally locks ourselves out of the house, we’re REALLY locked out of the house.
You buy groceries but you eat out so much that they go bad, and my leaving them there in the hopes that you’ll clean them up doesn’t ever work, so I end up removing your putrid spinach and rotting meat from the fridge. And the milk, oh my goodness, the milk. And stop buying a box of Wheat Thins every time you grocery shop! There are SIX half eaten boxes in the pantry!
For the umpteenth time, we recycle. Stop throwing cardboard in the garbage at least!
You leave strawberry stems and wrappers laying around the house, on wood furniture and on the counter, and my taking it all and putting it on your bed seemed to help, but this morning took the cake.
Why did you eat a giant chocolate muffin in the shower and then leave the wrapper IN the shower for me to find this morning? That is beyond gross, and really kind of weird too. You are very lucky you got up when you did and I was able to point it out and have you clean it up before I did more then just stuff the soggy wrapper in your bed.
I can’t wait until you leave. It’s too bad you’ll be losing two friends after this, but I’m sure we won’t be the last.
EmAnJ, haven’t you ever had a pet?
Fiance’s (soon to be demoted) BFF is desperately in love with you. The signs are all there.
Hey Asshole,
If you can’t take care of your nine kids . . . don’t have anymore!
:rolleyes:
Oh no way. He’s not ever said anything mean to me directly, but he can’t stand a woman with ANY fat, small boobs or boobs that aren’t perfect, a non-perfect slightly rolly stomach, who doesn’t have the magical ability to not wear makeup and look great, or has even a hint of cellulite, etc., etc. I’m not even close to his type.
I’d like to thank my father-in-law, about whom I otherwise have more issues than National Geographic. In light of that, please skip this post if you don’t want to hear about inlaw drama.
(Short background summary: he’s got bipolar disorder and is unmedicated, loves the highs way too much and the lows aren’t so bad, abusive physically/emotionally to his wife and kids (“only” emotionally in the last couple decades), pretty good at “schmoozing” strangers so they think he’s a sweet guy but has managed to drive away almost all his friends and extended family. His (adult) kids stay in contact out of a combination of Catholic Brand™ guilt, affection for their mother, and varying amounts of Stockholm Syndrome.* Currently about 80 years old.)
You see, my husband finally totally snapped over his dad. He’s said frequently that he loves his dad but doesn’t like him, agrees that I have good reason to hate him (I’m everything his dad didn’t want in a wife for his Only Son), only cares about his mother, etc. In the last year, my husband was able to admit to himself that he resents his mother for letting their dad abuse them, especially when she had a wealthy and loving family who would have taken her and any kids in if needed. He’s gotten more of a “you made your bed” attitude but still likes her a lot more than his dad.
Now his mom has moderate Alzheimer’s disease, and his dad hasn’t availed himself of any more than the bare minimum of infrequent home assistance for her because that stuff costs money (which he has, but he’d rather spend it on lavish week-or-two-long vacations - they’ve been going on vacation like this out of state or country at least a couple times a year for decades, so it’s not like this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing). Now they have a vacation in Alaska coming up in a week or so, and she’s had another physical setback. His worry? If she’s like this, maybe she won’t be up to going to Alaska (read: will be an inconvenient burden on me there).
His idea of a solution was that he asked one daughter to take care of her while he went away. When he learned the daughter was going on vacation that exact time period, he said he might just leave her at home. After all, this might be his last trip to Alaska.
This is a woman in her late 70s who can’t even cook for herself any longer and can’t/doesn’t bathe herself, and who he hasn’t been away from for any appreciable time for several years (though her Alzheimer’s has been noticeable for much less time than that). In a two-story house where the bedroom is upstairs. If she doesn’t injure herself or burn the house down, she’s probably going to be desperate, wondering when her husband is coming home from ‘work.’ They also have a large, headstrong dog who needs frequent walking on a leash, won’t go outside unleashed well (will probably run off), and could easily yank a fragile old woman off her feet if she tried to walk him these days.
My husband heard this from his sister, and called his dad. He laid it out - stay home, or bring her with. If she was left behind, then he and his dad were through. When his dad kept dodging giving a solid response and was trying to defend a decision like leaving her, my husband said that then he had nothing further to say to his dad.
He spoke with a couple of his sisters and told her he’d help out with caring for their mother if it came down to it, and suggesting legal action if it happened since their dad is her caretaker, but he’d prefer to have few to no dealings with his dad. And he was absolutely exhilarated at “being free” from his dad. So, we’ll see what his dad ends up doing, and go from there.
So thank you, father-in-law. Thank you for showing your utter selfishness down to the core. Thank you for showing that you learned nothing with age and time. Thank you for making my husband snap. He couldn’t “turn the other cheek” at this, couldn’t just write you off as a big jerk but at least not inhuman.
- Siding with their dad because he showed he had power, and their mom didn’t.
Sorry. I thought this would be mini-er than it turned out to be. See above comment about “issues.”
Wow, deja vu. You could be describing my parents (dad with mental issues he won’t treat/utterly selfish, mom with Alzheimers who made her bed with this man years ago). And the family dynamic is similar.
If he leaves her alone, the authorities need to be called. That’s elder abuse and very, very dangerous for mom. You don’t know if she’s going to wander off to look for dad.
I just went through two very bad weeks because I have to deal with my dad and it messes me up pretty bad. He is incorrigible and doesn’t care how his actions screw my mom and his kids.
I’m trying to focus on helping my mother, and if he somehow benefits then that’s just his good fortune, because I can’t frame my responsibilities in terms of helping him, because that makes me feel defeated.
Anyway, yeah I know how it is. Remind your husband that he didn’t cause it, it’s not about him and his worth as a human being, it’s good to have a heart even though it can be hurt, and that in the end if he protects his mother - who can’t protect herself anymore - he will know the measure of his character. Regardless of their history and legacy, he has become a good man, and that matters.
Would he look like this?
Sweet holy fuck.
Side note: his (deceased) wife’s name was “RebelJane”. 
I hate when databases don’t have all the data they’re supposed to have for some reason, and I’m under a deadline to have major analysis done, and every time I think I’ve made progress, I discover I’m missing a big chunk of data and I have to start all over! A whole week’s worth of work wasted because the database isn’t complete like I thought it was. And those managing the database don’t seem to care!
Also, to Coworker Who I’ve Complained About Before: You seriously work my nerves when I can’t talk about anything in my life without dealing with your your one-downmanship.
What is that, you ask? Today I was talking about how my father would take the family to the Picadilly cafeteria because he thought it was “health” food, and Coworker muttered pathetically in the background, “Going to Picadilly was a luxury when I was growing up.”
Or I might talk about something fun that my sister and I did as kids, and she’ll say, “I never got to do fun things like that since I was an only child and my mother was poor.”
Or if I talk about my father, even if it’s something stupid or trivial, she’ll go out of her way to remind me that her father died when she was a “baby” (i.e., when she was ten) and she never had a relationship with him.
I can’t talk about anything without her playing Debbie Downer all the time.
She makes me want to give her something to really cry about.
Holy crap those kittehs are cute!
Now I am inspired again. I’m gonna try again with Buddy Cat.
I swear if I can get the damn bowtie on him I will post a pic.
If he bites a chunk out of my hand I will post a pic of that too.