Took some time off to help my little sister, who’s just turning 21, to get an ID through the DMV. Got there when it opened, waited for an hour and a half to discover that her military dependent’s ID isn’t good enough because it doesn’t have her full middle name. Fine. Totally possible for someone to do heinous ID theft things with that, because the difference “Jane F Smith” and “Jane FuckyouDMV Smith” is huge. Actually, I buy that. They say they want a birth certificate.
Go back today with birth certificate in hand. Get there when it opens. Wait for an hour and a half, because the DMV is essentially prison for innocent people. Learn that, no, this birth certificate won’t work because even though it’s completely original and has “this is an official document” and seals and crap all over it, it’s “wallet-sized”. What. What do you need to know? You have a picture ID with everything but her middle name. You have a birth certificate with the same SSN and her full name. What the Christ.
So fuck you, DMV (the ‘F’ should really be part of the acronym). You are hereby charged with one count of being completely useless fucks who do nothing to disprove the notion that you are a byzantine, Kafkaesque exploration of pure, unfiltered human misery. If you’d like to appeal, please submit form WTF-1138.A (2007 revision) with fields A, B, C, D, 47 and π filled out by a notary public on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday if the notary’s name contains the letter “N” or Venus is ascendant, or Tuesday or Thursday if the notary has a unibrow or the chicken entrails are inauspicious. Fields E, -5 and )-: should be endorsed by your state representative or Captain Planet, unless you are exempt from the exemption to attaching exemption form D-666 (12.19.3.6.19 revision), which we do not accept except when it is acceptable.
Expect a response slightly before Ragnarok. You can still go to hell, though.
Attention 12-ish year old girls walking down the street; it is never, I repeat NEVER acceptable for you to screech ‘FUCK YOU BITCH’ as you wander down the middle of the street conversating with your friend. Your grandmother(s) would rightfully slap the taste from your mouths.
I can’t get the right temperature in my house. For some reason, my a/c won’t hold the temp it’s been set to - always one degree above or below, but never consistent. So all day long the house alternates between a little too warm and a little too cool.
(Yes, I know it sounds enormously stupid to be picky about a single degree, but I want 74 dammit!)
Guy at the auto parts store, would it kill you to look at the fine print on the rebate offer before handing it out to customers? You got my hopes up that I’d get a $50 rebate on the brake rotors I just had installed, but when I went to the website to get the address to send it to, it tells me the offer ended on April 29th. I bought the rotors May 15th. Get thee a calendar, Auto Parts Store Guy.
Oh my fucking God, who did you get to design these things, a retired nazi scientist? I bought these assuming that the only difference would be the same as other compact versions - the aplicator folds into itself until you pull it out. That’s not the case. It’s okay that tampons expand around. It’s NOT OKAY THAT THEY EXPAND UP AND DOWN. Especially down! Down…and outwards… Assholes. I’m never buying these stupid things again.
Just because the economy sucks does not mean you should treat workers like dirt. You have the unmitigated nerve to lecture me on professionalism because I offered about twenty seconds of criticism about the company to a temporary supervisor. Said supervisor is the company’s nastiest bitch, a woman who routinely yells at me and once reported me because she could hear my child in the background while trying to talk to me over the sound of her own miserable brats.
I know that this at home labor.
You know what? This is also damned hard work. I work essentially full time. I do not get paid sick time. I do not get paid time off. I do not get a pension or a matching 401K or invites to company parties. I do not get thanked. I get lectured to about mistakes I made two weeks ago. I get to work Sundays and holidays without overtime pay. I get asked to work with a day’s notice and then I am not informed if I am actually working or not. I get cancelled without compensation and with work I’ve turned down elsewhere. I get calls at home at nearly midnight on a weeknight. If my computer access, internet access or phone line goes down I am out of pay for the day.
I get two lousy benefits. I get to work at home and I don’t have a commute.
I also do work that is boring and repititious yet requires a lot of concentration. When I am finished I need at least an hour’s rest and recovery.
I do not get direct deposit. Every single fucking company I’ve ever worked for does fucking direct deposit. I’ve worked temp and gotten direct deposit. Join the modern era, you incompetents.
I don’t mind the five minute walk to the bank. I mind paychecks that are late. I mind paychecks that arrive in the mail so mangled I have to beg the bank to cash them. I mind that I’ve gotten one lousy three percent raise in seven years of work for one project while the stupid fucking CEO has seen his pay double. He runs a non-profit organization and he sucks at it.
Stop overpaying the CEO, rewarding nasty people with positions of power and give the goddamned raise I am owed.
Sincerely,
Waiting For an Economic Uptick
P.S. Triple fuck you to SC. You shouldn’t be allowed to manage mice let alone human beings, you nasty condescending mean asshole.
"One definition of ‘insanity’ is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…"
Instead, let’s agree to use:
"We’ve tried this several times before and it hasn’t worked…"
The second phrasing is more accurate and doesn’t imply that the original idea proponent is insane.
The second phrasing gives the one with the opposing view an opportunity to explain why the idea might indeed work this next time, or why perhaps the idea is an improved variation of the original idea and not simply the “same old thing”.
The first method almost always ends a debate. For can we really expect rational discussion after one party has questioned the sanity of the other party?
The first phrasing is overdone. Just this week I’ve heard it at work from a manager who should know better, and on NPR --which I generally expect to have higher standards. The first phrasing is no longer clever (if it ever was) and in this writer’s opinion shows a certain shallowness and a lack of originality.
Just because something hasn’t worked before, even after several times, does not mean that it will never work. If you offer me a hundred dollars if I roll double sixes on a pair of dice, I will not give up after five throws because it does not work. I know that at some point I will indeed roll double sixes and collect my C-note. Reasonable people know that very often things fail several times before they succeed. Indeed, it is probably more “insane” to believe that because something has not worked, then it could never work.
Actually no real definition of “Insanity” is covered by the first phrasing. None. At most we are talking delusion, not insanity. Now a real definition of “insanity” might be when I start shrieking at the next person who wastes valuable discussion time with the above offending overused trite platitude. Perhaps when I pick up a baseball bat and begin swinging it while bellowing “I’ll show you a real definition of INSANITY” and then crush the kneecaps of the offending individual while spitting and wheezing and laughing in a hysterical manner—then maybe I can give pause to others who would trot out this overspoken drivel.
I went to my car’s funeral today. When I found out she was wasn’t well, I didn’t worry because I knew they could fix her. But it’s too late. My poor little girl passed away. She was too young to die; she was only 15.
That rant I posted in May? or maybe April. Something not great was going to happen around here in June? Well, it’s happened, and it’s not good. There was a slight chance it would turn out OK. Didn’t.
Reading websites with titles like “no vaccines,” does not count as “research” on this subject. Arguing that vaccines are dangerous and cause illness rather than prevent it does not make you informed.
If your poor child had a bad vaccine reaction the dumbest thing in the world to argue against is vaccination for other children. If you had more than half a dozen neurons you would understand this.
To paraphrase Dilbert, ignorance is indeed not a point of view. Stop using the internet to spread misinformation about health measures, you birdbrained Web Typhoid Mary.
