Well, I’m house-sitting this week, so I won’t know what junk mail I got at my apartment until Saturday. However, I did have the dubious pleasure of answering three calls from a certain company today. Each time, I said “Hello”, then heard the start of a recorded message. “This is Capital One Mortgage calling with an exciting offer to refinance your home. Unfortunately, all of our consultants are busy with other customers right now, but…” (At or before that point, I’ve managed to hang up, so I don’t know the rest of the spiel.) What kind of sales strategy is that? A firm calling to tell you that its dance card is full, but your business is apparently worth soliciting for some day yet to be determined?
Hmmm, a very light mail delivery here as well. I recieved
-**2 credit card applications ** (chase and discover), while chinette received
-**2 requests for donations ** (Humane Society, Care)
This theme should continue thru the week:
They know I need money, while she has money to give.
Not a single thing–except for an AT&T bill (which isn’t even really a bill because we had words several months ago and they still owe me money). I think my downstairs neighbor was being helpful and took in all the junk–despite the fact that she usually leaves it in the vestibule until it’s hard to open the outer door. Then one of us will break down and throw it out. 
I have high hopes for today, though.
I just ran by my house to get me a sammich. Mail lady ran while I was there. Nuttin’ today! Well, the cell phone bill, but no junk mail at all. How inconsiderate of those snail mail spammers.
Ok, that’s just weird. Normally I’d be glad I didn’t get any junk mail but since we have this thread going I’m mad I didn’t get any. Yet another reason why bein’ a Doper is so much fun. 
Well, lessee, by my count, we had 3 folks get 4 pieces of junk each - swampy, Lily, and chinbender. I could go with the cheap shot and declare the AARP geezer a winner, but I think free panties trumps that, so Monday’s champ is LilyoftheValley for Vickie’s undies! It’s junk mail and a prize in one!!
<tossing confetti with wild and reckless abandon>
If AARP had been offering me free Depends, would that have tipped things in my favor?
And as for Tuesday’s edition, I got 4 pieces, all junk:
- Washington Post wants me to subscribe
- AAA wants us to join (we’ve been members for 8 or 9 years)
- Sprint offers us a good deal (I’m happy with Cingular, thanks)
and, the most headscratching - The Fulton School of Liberal Arts in Salisbury, MD (that’s on the other side of the bay from us) offers us a “One-Day Piano Opportunity” to purchase the pianos their students have been pounding on for the last year. Definitely a potential winner there!
Most definitely, darlin’! 
One lousy piece of mail from a bank. Unfortunately for these purposes, it was addressed to “Our Friends At.” 
Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon addressed to Our Neighbor. I’m so gonna lose. Only the Jesus rug can save me now.
Save me, Jeebus!
Woohooo! Just goes to prove Lily’s Law: If the competition is tough, flash your panties. Do I get a row of gold stars to add to my sig or sumthin’?
As for today:
[ul]
[li]The same Bed Bath and Beyond flyer as Draelin, also addressed to “Our Neighbor” (Does that make Draelin my neighbor too by the transitive property?)[/li][li]A Supergo catalog (never ordered from them in my life)[/li][li]An LLBean catalog[/li][/ul]
Lilyof theValley I just gotta know, what is a “Supergo” catalog. Do I wanna be on their mailing list?
The first time I got their catalog, I misread it as “Superego”, and thought it was some kind of morality thing. Alas, it seems to be a plain old bicycling shop.
OK…someone told the junk mailers or the U.S. Postal Service (or both…how’s that for a conspiracy?) about this derby, didn’t they?
Today is more boring than yesterday: the cable company addresses the current resident, GEICO writes to “Sensible Driver at”, and one item that actually counts and is addressed to me personally:
A private sale notice from our friends at Dress Barn
Well isn’t that just fascinating?
GT
Sorry. The prize committee’s been a little tied up. So who’s getting a prize, now?
We should do this every week. Almost no mail today, just something from school telling me to register, (in 6 weeks, which is annoying but I guess doesnt count), the same bed bath and beyond coupon and…
-**2 credit card offers. From the same company. ** On the same day. Good thinking Bank of America. Despite the fact that I haven’t signed up for any of your previous 4200 offers, you sent me two today. And for a moment I seriously considered signing up for the second, just before ripping it in two, Well played.
Could I get some orange stars for this haul?
We should do this every week… because it’s actually cutting down on my junk mail! That’s right, no junk mail today, either. One car insurance bill.
If this keeps working, we can market it, and make millions! All we have to do is a mass-mailing to ask people if they want to stop junk mail… uh… wait…
A bit better today…
Day Two Haul:
One (1) catalog from The Paragon.
One (1) Gold MasterCard offer from Orchard Bank (who I’ve never fricking heard of).
One (1) “Quick Quote Card” from Geico. It contains valuable information on how to check and see if we can save up to 15% on auto insurance by switching to Geico. Of course, it might make more sense for them to snail-spam us if they hadn’t already rejected us a month ago. :rolleyes:
Tuesday total: 3 items
Total for the week: 4 items
Ooooh…this is my favorite former junk mail. For YEARS I got offers where I used to live. Then it turned out they didn’t actually offer insurance in our zip code.
Double :rolleyes:
GT
Wow, I’ve never been in anyone’s sig before - how could I pass up that chance. Here ya go:
LilyoftheValley is the official “First-Day-of-the-Junk-Mail-Derby” winner for July 11, 2005, and is hereby awarded the following stars: ************ plus these: ****** to match Vickie’s free pink panties!