I was at a party last Saturday night, held by our senior class president, Matt. There were about 100 people there over the course of the night, and at times it got pretty wild. At about 5 AM, everyone who was staying the night had pretty much crashed where they were to sleep. I was downstairs with 4 or 5 other people in the room, laying on the floor.
Down the short staircase walks Eric, one of Matt’s older friends and boss at Electronics Boutique. He drank extremely heavily, and was practically catatonic. Walking over to the doorway leading to the computer room, he unzips his pants and proceeds to piss onto the floor (which he thought was the bathroom). Well, actually, it wasn’t the floor. It was right on another partygoer named Ed.
Ed was drunk too, so he doesn’t wake up right away. Eric lumbers into the room we’re in and passes out cold. Ten minutes later, we hear a muffled “Who the fuck pissed on me?” followed by Ed jumping up, through the doorway and up the stairs screaming it. Through process of elimination (and waking the whole house up), he found out that Eric had done it. He ran down the stairs and kicked Eric as hard as he could right in the back, who just sort of groaned and stirred. Ed then went back upstairs, still ranting and raving. Eric, eventually feeling the pain, stood up and we heard him say “Who kicked me?” between groans of agony. He made his way upstairs while the group of people in the room we shared laughed hysterically.
The next thing we hear is Eric screaming bloody murder. We all jump up and run upstairs to see what happened. Ed decided Eric hadn’t had enough, and as soon as he saw him come upstairs, he gave him a knuckle sandwich right in the face. Still piss drunk, Eric fell on his ass and blood poured out his nose. Ed started beating on him until he was restrained, and Eric was dragged to the bathroom to be cleaned up. I helped clean up the spreading pool of blood on the floor while Ed was taken outside and Eric was fixed up. Then Eric starts yelling. Seems that he can’t even remember WHO hit him, so he continually bellows “WHO HIT ME?” Cleaned up and with the bloodflow stopped, Eric makes his way out of the bathroom and tried to make it outside to his assailant, who he is now screaming he’s going to shoot with the gun in his car. Freaked out, everyone kept the two separated. Eric was dragged back to the bathroom, still screaming, while Ed chilled out outside. I’m outside now, conferring with some people about what’s going to happen. Matt, who was trying to calm Eric down, comes outside and assures us everything is all right. “Eric’s so drunk he called his “friends” on his imaginary phone to come beat Ed’s ass, so he’s calm now.” Seems he had mistaken his hand for a phone. Well, we’re still standing outside when Eric comes out. I stepped between the two, trying to make sure nothing happened. Eric apologized, saying that he wouldn’t have acted like such an asshole if he knew that he pissed on Ed. The two shook hands, and everything was cool.
That’s when I left, because I had to work in 3 hours and hadn’t had any sleep. I later found out that somebody at the party had a seizure and the paramedics were called, but he’s all right.
Wacked out night, let me tell you.
I had a blast. 
