I feel like I’m having an epiphany. “Just be yourself.” It’s one of the most cliche phrases that’s ever been used, but the more I think about it, the more it starts to make sense.
I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to emphasize one trait or another. For example, I might tell myself, “I need to be more confident, outgoing, quiet, calm, relaxed, aggressive, etc… ad nauseum” I put pressure on myself to exhibit certain traits when it’s not really necessary at all. What’s worse, is that when I didn’t live up to my own expectations, I became angry, frustrated and miserable. And for what? I would have been fine just being myself all along.
Honestly, no one really gives a fuck. They either like you, or they don’t. More often than not, they will appreciate the real you, vs. the one thats trying to be something he’s not. What matters much more in life is what you do, not the image you try to portray.
Another example of Things Mom Told Us That Turned Out to be True. Congratulations on coming around to it! And don’t feel bad; it took me over 40 years to finally see the light myself.
The way it finally made sense to me was when someone said to me: Yes, be yourself, but be your best self. Dress the way that makes you feel good. Do things that you think are real fun.
Is this really a good idea? What if you are naturally mean to others, lazy or
have other bad traits? Should you just be yourself or should you
fight to change what you are?
I suppose that “be yourself” is good advice to those who have no major
flaws but for some individuals it may not be the best sort of thing.
Imagine it’s the mid 1930’s, you meet Hitler and find him struggling to
be a better, kinder person. Would you tell him “Adolf, quit trying to be
so damn nice! Just be yourself.”
Yes, just be yourself. Sometimes quiet, reserved people actually have more confidence (inner confidence) than people who are outgoing. There is a misconception that quiet people lack confidence. Quiet people can be very much on top of things! I have nothing against outgoing people, but just be yourself, whatever your personality type. Afterall, it would be incredibly boring if we were all the same.
There’s only one thing that I know how to do well,
And I’ve often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well
And that’s be you.
Be what you’re like.
Be like yourself.
From a , uh, . . . commercial services provider I did business with occasionally, back in the mid-70’s . . . ( Misogyny warning! Even though it was a female commercial provider who said this! )
People misunderstand the maxim. “Just be yourself” isn’t permission to never change. If your real self is an asshole, then you should change who you are. Stop being an asshole and become a better person.
But don’t lie about what you are. Don’t pretend to be a good person if you’re an asshole.
When in university, I sometimes tried to copy other, more successful people. It took me years to learn that that wasn’t really the right way to be doing things. Or perhaps I knew it all along.
