Just because a thread is in the Pit does not mean you have to be a jerk.

The BBQ Pit
21

I’ve never understood why a “shake your fist” post that is *not * directed toward anyone on this board needs to be in the pit in the first place. Why can’t it be in Great Debates or MPSIMS? Especially the “I tripped on a fucking curb and I hate society for putting it there” type posts. That’s pure MPSIMS because nobody really cares about it. And to be honest, the whole “my neighbor’s daughter fell in a well please pray” in MPSIMS is the same as the pit’s “I shake my fist at God for putting neighbor kid in well” thread. Aside from tradition I have no idea why complaining at nobody in particular threads go here. Just because a negative emotion is involved doesn’t mean it can’t be upstairs in the no-jerk forums.

But as long as people want to post their sob stories in the pit, I don’t see why people should stand on ceremony if they think the OP is a wankaholic.

22

I agree, Binarydrone, and then I don’t.

You can learn a lot about people when you watch how they treat other people “because they can;” it gives a lot of insight into what kind of person they really are. Those who are complete and total assholes in the Pit (as in, the ones who regularly who take it too far) are because, well, they really are assholes.

That can come in handy when they go to weigh in on another topic on another forum. If you’ve seen their true colors in the Pit, their opinion elsewhere just doesn’t carry as much weight, so you’re less likely to waste time on them.

So I see the Pit as a useful tool to expose bad people. It separates people who just need to vent from time to time from those who use the Pit to totally defame and attack someone.

23

I’m totally with the OP. Regardless of how anyone felt about Scylla, he gave no repellent opinions in that thread, attacked no one, did not act like an asshole. I love the Pit and I’ve always been astonished by and embarassed for the posters who take any opportunity to take a shot at someone.

Someone posts “Damn this or that sucks” and instantly a bunch of folks chime in: you’re a douchebag, it’s so your own fault, suck it up, stop whining, etc. I think this behavior sucks. If someone gives a good reason in a Pit thread to take a shot, by all means go for it; I certainly do. But it’s lame and shitty to consider everything to be open season. And I have little respect for those who do.

My two cents.

24

I’ve seen it over and over again, too, and I don’t want to cite specific examples either, but only because it would take me 75 days at the rate the boards are going. (I’ve gone away and come back serveral times and now, two and a half hours after starting this post, the boards are running a little smoother. Guess what, though? I’m still not searching for anything.)

[quote=Waverly]
[ul][li]Your writing is [fussy, arrogant, ‘purdy’, in dialect, affected, etc.] = Your posts get more attention than mine. I just don’t like you. I’m not mature enough to ignore you.[/ul][/li][/quote]

I was blissfully unaware of Scylla, as I am of most posters, because I’ve never really bothered to pay attention to user names when I’m browsing. I somehow missed the Famous Blimp Thread, as well as all the others I’ve seen mentioned in the “Memorable Dope Threads” threads that pop up now and again, and I don’t think you would be able to find a single post from me addressed to or attacking Scylla (or anyone, as a pattern), because I really just don’t care. That said, after seeing the name repeated over and over and over again, yet mysteriously not recognizing it at all despite being here for freakin’ ever, I decided to check it out.

I read a Super Duper Pulitzer Prize Worthy Scylla Thread (uh huh…) whose title I don’t recall; the OP itself occupied the OP’s spot as well as the first half dozen or so reply spots, taking up half a page complete with triple asterisks indicating a new post to follow, but wait! Let’s pause here for dramatic effect! The whole thing was so completely obnoxious that I am now unable to appreciate Scylla’s particular… style. I even read one other thread whose content, again, eludes me, just to make sure the longest, most drawn out and anticlimactic OP ever wasn’t just a one off, or whatever. Turns out it wasn’t, although this second OP wasn’t nearly as long. The third and last (not necessarily chronologically though) Scylla thread I’ve bothered to look at was the Viper thread and… yeah. And Scylla doesn’t even bother me half as much as the people who wouldn’t shut the fuck up about him so I could continue having never heard of him.

I agree that some people are assholes. In many cases, I can understand why. I’ve also been hearing since the day I signed up that you need to have a thick skin to post in the Pit, and I agree with that, too. I don’t agree that thinking any of the above makes me, or everyone else, jealous or immature.

Apologies to BinaryDrone, but I wanted to respond to this post (because it’s such complete bullshit; do you honestly believe that Case Sensitive is jealous of what’s her name because she flirts everywhere?) and Scylla is the only Doper I’m even slightly aware of who has an “affected” writing style, except that one chick who was the recipient of a brief pitting (it was actually a hijack, IIRC) for her “southern typing”, but whose name I don’t recall. See? I really don’t pay attention to the Who’s Who? around here.

25

Just a quick clarification for you. I did say I understood some posters are just simply going to take a dislike to others. There are people I don’t like, and there’s certain to be a list of people who don’t like me. Whereas you or I might just click the back button and move on, others are compelled to snipe. And here’s the important part, the sniping isn’t always about the content of the post, but rather the poster’s personality. Can you see the difference?

Content bashing is fine with me, and I’ve interrupted several ‘woe is me’ pit threads to say, “hey, you seem to be the problem here.” Is that what you think is going on in the linked thread? I sure don’t.

And again, it isn’t just the linked thread. I would have liked to see this discussion go on without a specific example to confuse the issue.

I hope that clarifies.

26

Then why not start a separate thread on it? Seriously, why crap directly on someone’s head while they’re down just because you can? “They posted in the wrong forum - I have every right to do whatever the fuck I want!” Bullshit. Rip 'em to shreds in a separate thread, and you can pull in every niggling detail of their posting history that rubs you the wrong way, and tell them what-for there. It’s just downright cowardly to do it in the “wrong forum” thread. Show some balls for Godssake.

27

Whenever I see a well-crafted thoughtful reply that tacks on “Oh, and since this is the pit, fuck those goat-felching carts with one smegma-encrusted wobbly wheel!” I sigh. If you’ve got a real point, that’s great, but too often there doesn’t seem to be one other than wheee it’s the pit!

28

I’m not sure if you think people who post it “in the wrong forum” are doing it by mistake. If someone didn’t want any disagreement, they could post it somewhere else and they wouldn’t likely get any negativity in their thread. If they posted a stupid whine in another forum, then people who wanted to attack them for it *would * have to start a new thread to tell them off about it.

I really have to figure that if someone is truly down and truly needs the unconditional support of people who care about their best interests, they’re not going to start a pit thread to get it. They’d either start an MPSIMS thread or post in their livejournal or email a friend. Why would they post it in the pit? I have always assumed that when people post that stuff in the pit, it’s either because they *would * like to argue angrily with someone, or because they just don’t understand what the forum is for.

29

Everyone in this thread should fuck off, bunch of cheese felching knob jockies. :cool:

30

I second this, wholeheartedly. There’s way too much “it’s the Pit, so I’m gonna use this opprotunity to say a whole bunch of stuff I would never have the cojones to say to your face” around here.

People tend to lose sight of the fact that we’re all, well, people. This is the one board I’ve seen where there are regular personalities, where you can actually develop posting histories with people and learn about the actual person behind the posts.

Having that ability makes some of the viciousness in the Pit that much more assholish. Dopers are more than just the contents of their posts, they’re people. Being a complete dick just because you’re in the Pit and therefore can, is the height of obnoxiousness and a sign of ugly, hateful, cowardly person.

Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes a person is just begging for a good Pit-lashing. In those cases, light the torches and get out the pitchforks. But to make a petty, snide, personal attack on someone because of who they are instead of what they posted just isn’t right.

31

I agree completely with Binarydrone. If you don’t like a poster, it’s not an excuse to snipe at him in every unrelated thread that comes down the pike. At least have the decency to wait until they’re actually doing whatever it is you find objectionable before you jump on 'em with both feet.

On the other hand, I also agree with Abbie Carmichael: I wouldn’t want a rule change to forbid that from happening in the Pit. You can learn a helluva lot about a person from how they act in here. I know a lot of people think, “It’s just online. How people act here is not how they act in real life.” Which is true, but it only re-enforces my point. How they act here is how they would act in real life, if they thought they could get away with it. Sometimes, the internet is the mask the reveals a person’s true face.

32

I probably should mention that I specifically am not suggesting any kind of a rule change. The point is also very well made that you can learn a whole lot about specific posters by the way that they treat others in the Pit. I would be sad to loose such a litmus test. What I am really suggesting is just a short pause before hitting submit, to think about how your words will impact a real person. This is something that I aspire to do and, I hope, sometimes succeed at doing

33

This OP is ridiculous. Scylla was figure skating in the hockey rink. Now I know we don’t HAVE to play hockey but that’s why we came here, FFS.

34

If you want the freedom to post some boring weepy screed in the Pit to total fucking strangers, then you have to respect their freedom to shit all over it.

It may make them unsympathetic/hard/heartless/unpleasant/indecent people. But this is The Pit. It is not http://www.hugz-4-you.com or http://www.share-personal-problems.com. There are plenty of internet fora dedicated to providing emotional support, I do not understand how in a snowy hellstorm it fits in the remit of “fighting ignorance”.

Practical advice, fine. “What sort of counsellor should I see?” “Where can I get help/support for my custody issues?” “What herbal treatments have people found effective for depression?”

But frankly there’s a reason people post private, personal details to total strangers (when they could just as easily post them to a personal web journal). It’s called attention-seeking.

35

pokey, I understand your points, but there are those posts which don’t feel at all “Mundane” or “Pointless” but we don’t, as I recently said in an OP about a very hard time I’m going through, have a forum for “Earthshattering and Lifechanging Stuff I Must Share.” So it’s a judgement call, and one I agonized over for a long while in that particular case. It felt demeaning and cold to my premature daughter to call her emergency birth “Mundane and Pointless,” yet I was certainly in no emotional state to listen to barbs and snarks about my posting style or abilities as a mother. In the end, I chose MPSIMS, but only by a knife’s edge. Had I chosen the Pit, it would still have been the same circumstance, and I would still have been in need of the same respect and support I recieved.

People post in the Pit not to be jumped on, but to express their rage and frustration, with the hope that others will say “Me too! I hate that thing also! That really sucks!” Obviously, when another poster is Pitted, they must be allowed to defend themselves, but when a **situation **is Pitted, what’s the point of bashing the OPer for it? To do so is a pretty literal hijack - the OP certainly wasn’t posted to get shit on. If another thread with intent to Pit the poster is opened and linked, then no hijack.

I wouldn’t suggest a rule change, either. But it shouldn’t be needed, if people posted replies with decorum.

36

Sometimes someone posting about a situation deserves to have their Pit thread turn on them.

The fact of the matter is, if you don’t want people bashing you for your post, don’t put it in the Pit. If you put it in the Pit, anybody who thinks you said something dumb is free to expound on just how dumb they think you’ve been.

37

I think the key word in your post is “sometimes” and I agree with you. I considered bitch-slapping the one you linked as well. Decided it wasn’t worth my time. But this OP was opining that you don’t HAVE to be a jerk, and that being a jerk in some threads, even in the Pit, makes you a meany jerk, not just a Pit-jerk. Which I also agree with.

38

Oh this happens all the time and people have no problem with it. When ninjachick pits her aiports you’ll always get some guys rushing in to defend them and say she’s a nitpicking whiner. There is nothing wrong with whatshisname commenting that the OP was pretty generic angst blather. It wasn’t really much of a personal attack. The difference is that the SDMB is such a social club that if a member is “going through hard times” we’re supposed to take it easy on them.

No offense but I don’t want to know about your bereavments or traumas and I don’t want them bearing on my posts here.

39

Well, sure, but that guy was bragging about how he was an asshole to a counter jockey at a fastfood restaurant. There was an actual reason, within the OP itself, to flame the guy. Now, if zenith goes and posts a thread about, say, his mom being in the hospital, and someone comes in and says, “Hey jackass, does your mom know the difference between a root and a fruit?” that’s an entirely different matter, and in that case, it’s not the OP who’s being a jerk.

40

You pay your money and you takes your chances.

Or words to that effect.
It’s a public board–and it involves people. In every crowd, you’re gonna get people who say extreme things, use strong language, oppose you POV.

While I can sympathize somewhat with the call for civility–I prefer to deal with the known, which in this case, is that there are gonna be people who call names, who are addicted to the word “fuck”, who cannot discuss or disagree w/o becoming incensed.

So, the OP’s POV is duly noted, but the forums are established to allow for such goings on.

(Lawd, that sounded somewhat mod-ish!)