WhyNot, I’ve often thought that MPSIMS should be changed to stand for Mundane or Personal Stuff I Must Share. After all, a lot of the threads in that forum do revolve around the beginnings and ends of relationships, weddings, funerals, pregnancies, pets, birth, death and new jobs. Most of which is mundane and pointless to those of us on the outside looking in- but not to those on the inside looking out.
Unrelated to that, there is a significant percentage of threads in the Pit which I read the OP but not many of the responses because people act so incredibly hostile. I understand that the Pit is the place to vent one’s hostility- but I agree with Binarydrone one can disagree with someone vehemently without being nasty. Yes, sometimes people in the Pit deserve to have their threads turned on them. However, the nastiness that I find most obnoxious takes the form of this:
OP
Poster A replies
Poster B replies
Poster C replies
Poster D lets everyone know that Poster C is an idiot.
Poster E informs everyone that Poster D is the idiot.
Much discussion ensues over whether C or D is the bigger idiot, little of which is germane to the original thread, which was not started by or in reference to Posters C or D.
True… but I’ve also seen mod warnings handed down to people who hijack threads in that manner, since it is jerkish. (Or, rather, since IANAM, it seems to be jerkish in some Mods’ interpretation)
But, for instance, if an OP posts about his/her mother being put in a nursing home, and it’s in the Pit, they’re fair game for someone to say “You heartless monster! How could you put a loved one in a home?”
Likewise, if someone posts an OP about some trouble they’re in, and it’s in the Pit, they’re fair game for someone to wander along and say “Hey, quit whining!”
Obviously if someone doesn’t actually feel those sentiments then it’s trolling to voice them. But if they do feel them, the Pit seems a fine enough place to hash it out. So to sum up, if someone feels that they ‘have to’ post something snarky, even if it’s not what they feel, they’re a troll since they’re posting stuff they don’t believe in order to stir shit up. Otherwise, I think it’s fair (if nasty) play.
Oddly enough, it seems we do. It looks like the description of MPSIMS has changed to definitely include that. News to me. Anyone know when that happened?
Except, that’s exactly what didn’t happen. The people that wanted to attack him didn’t want to attack him for the OP, they wanted to attack him for just being there, or so it seemed to me. It’s a big difference. Like I said, it’s the difference between crapping on someone just because they’re down as the opportunity presents itself, and crapping on someone because they deserve a shit sandwich. Usually, the shit sandwich is deserved because they make a jackass assumption in the OP (ex: “I can’t believe the shitty service I got from the retard at my local tavern” or “The SDMB would be a lot better if it weren’t for all the blacks” or what have you).
It’s the bullshit snarky potshots that have increased in the last year or so that have made a marked affect on this place of late. I think we all just need to get laid.
Thanks for posting the OP. I agree wholeheartedly. It seems like some people just can’t pass up an opportunity to put the boot in, even when people are obviously already hurting. Even if you’re not the type to leap into a thread and spread hugs around, there’s really no need for the Nelson Muntz “ha, ha!”.
CarnalK, I know you paid your membership fees, same as everyone else, but do you really feel it gives carte blanche to kick someone when they’re down? Wrong forum or not, dislike of poster or not, dislike of posting’s content or not, fer the life of Pete, do you really have to take that particular moment, after a persona has come out in the open and said “I feel like crap” to go in and say “well, here, I have some razor blades to slice you up a bit more.”
Okay, perhaps that’s a bit overly dramatic, and not necessarily directed at you Carnalk, but it seems to be the tone sometimes. I agree - pit a situation or a poster that has deserved it in the appropriate way, but there’s no need - and you HAVE to admit there is no need to kick someone when they’re down.
If you really feel a need like that so badly, then might I humbly suggest you turn off your computer and go out with some friends because you’re just slightly too tense for the boards at that moment to interact rationally or logically.
Just my opinion of course. I expect to get bashed for it.
I’m certainly not going to bash you for your opinion but I’ve been making clear lately that I want a pushing away of MPSIMS style content on SDMB(1). If you want to, you could look at my history and see I don’t use the BBQ as some hunting grounds for my mean-spiritedness.Quite honestly, Scylla’s OP read to me as an essay submission, regardless of it’s inspiration. I honestly thought that 1st response was a snarky critique on the style- not a personal attack. The “purple prose” follow up cements the latter suspicion - Scylla’s history strongly suggests the former.
(1) - for a while I thought the BBQ was taking over the fossilizing GD for fluid debate. Now it seems the BBQ is becoming the place for strongly felt “MPSIMS”.
I asked about this when I started in the ATMB, but I’ll put this extract from the Rules here again:
I’m taking this to mean that you should behave like a civilised human being, even in the Pit. You could use strong words, you could tell someone they’re writing complete bullshit, but you couldn’t tell them you think their mother is a whore and they should fuck off and die.
Got any precedent to back that up?
The Pit is the place for , among other things, flaming other people. It strikes me that if you can call someone a goat felcher, you can also say other nasty stuff.
You can’t wish death on someone, but I don’t really see a reason that you couldn’t say someone was son of a whore if it’s obvious you weren’t actually commiting libel.
As always the Mods are the ultimate arbiters of the rules, but I’ve not seen anything to back up your interpretation.
I think you’re slightly mis-reading that section of the rules, Sarah. You can indeed tell someone their mother is a whore; most of us just choose not to. I agree with the OP too - I spend most of my time in the Pit, and I have made it my business to try not to post anything here that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face. It’s difficult sometimes, when someone is taking the piss out of you for no particular reason, but I think it’s a healthy challenge. Growth as a human being, and all that.
CarnalK, I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but it sounds to me like you are saying that its okay to antagonize people for the sport of it in the Pit. Is that what you meant to imply?
Thanks. I appreciate you acknowleging my statement without rancor. Sincerely.
I truly hope you didn’t take my post to mean that I was bashing on you specifically for all the ills and ire I see inthe pit - if my post conveyed that, I apologize. You were simply an example that was handy, and perhaps that was unfair of me. If you were offended, please know it was not my intention.
I can see your point - it’s valid, I concur. There should be a differentiation between the pit and MPSIMS, but the way I read the particular post we’re discussing was - wrong placement or not - someone was in pain, and got piled on for it because they chose to express themselves in a colorful way.
Hey, I understand that, too - for a lot of the time I was deepest in my depressions and insanities, it was writing that was my only salvation. It was the only outlet I had where I felt I could convey what hurt inside me, and sometimes that hurt was so…vague yet painful…that I admit it may have seemed hard to follow for others. But I don’t think it made it any less valid of an expression of my misery or sadness.
I posted in the pit once about how shitty I felt about some stuff that was going on in my life - and it was angry - I was angry about certain things that had happened that I had no control to avoid or fix. It may have been mindless and/or personal, but it was pit-worthy, because I felt the need to express ire, anger, and a host of other feelings.
it wasn’t a “pity me” post, it was a “why the fuck do I have to deal with this, hasn’t there been enough crap in my life already and when have I paid my dies to the universe” kind of post. Just wanted a place to vent. I don’t have a place to vent, honestly. I honestly don’t - another failing in my life.
I just think that there is room in the pit for personal anger, as well as heated debate, as well as angry call-puts for unjustified behavior, as well as a number of other things.
Again, just my opinion as a member of a board who rarely gets responses to what I post, anyway. shrug Sometimes it’s just that I have had the opportunity to say something that can mean the most to me.
Given that this is a pretty big deal statement, and something that I am trying not to do, I would appreciate a response to my earlier post when I asked for the details of the cause of this.
ink a dink a dink, sure you make sense. It definitly comes down to our differing impressions of Scylla’s OP. While we both think it was inspired by a painful experience, my cynicism didn’t allow me to believe it was presented while in pain.
That doesn’t have anything to do with the SDMB’s being a social club. It has to do with people not being total flatulating assholes to each other.
Best way to keep from knowing about posters’ personal issues is not to read them. Best way to keep from its having any bearing on your posts is not to post about it. Doesn’t seem all that complicated.
I realize this won’t get me any points with TPTB, but I kind of agree with CarnalK’s position. With 52,000 members, there isn’t a topic under the sun that everyone will agree upon. If you want to post a look at me/have sympathy for me/agree with me thread, keep it in MPSIMS. If you post it in the Pit, I think you should expect people to post opposing thoughts, and I also think they should be allowed to, without being warned for “hijacking” or being called a “jerk” by the Moderators.
[rant]The worst example is when OPs state that “this thread is for people who agree with position X. If you agree with Y, or Z, don’t post in MY thread.” I think that tactic is the lowest, and should be disallowed by rule. [/rant]
My two cents; that and $2.50 will buy you a cuppa, but there it is.
