Luckily the place we had our reception didn’t have a bar so while in a way the question didn’t arise - we had to provide all the after dinner drinks ourselves, boxes of wine, kegs of beer, some soft drinks and a few mixers bought off the net - we looked really generous.
As for weddings I’ve been to however, well, in France the drinking generally stops when the food does so again, case closed. In other places, don’t think I’ve ever had an open bar after the meal was over.
Wedding parties - we didn’t pay for a scrap of anyone else’s clothing but then nor did we tell anyone what to wear - the best man was in a siut, the groom in tails, even my “bridesmaids” bought their own dresses, three children from three different countries were just asked to find a pink dress, even the colour was chosen by the eldest. OTOH, when I was a bridesmaid my dress colour and style was dictated and it was given to me as a gift (for the same wedding I was told that, as I"d travelled to the UK twice for dress fittings and again for the wedding I was not to buy a present).
We paid for the flowers and button holes.
Tickets - people from 5 different countries came to our wedding, we only paid for the priest coming over from Ireland, however we did put a note in with the invitations saying that as they would be going to so much trouble (read “expense”) to come to the wedding we considered that our present and we did not want/expect anything else, we also timed the wedding so that people could make a long weekend in Paris of it. (Some even came to Paris but skipped the wedding :dubious: )
Asking for gifts may be tacky but you wouldn’t believe how many people asked us for a wedding list, despite the fact we expressly said we didn’t want anything.
Reading threads about weddings on this board makes me thankful that a) I’m not in the States where here seem to be so many ‘rules’ & b) realise how lucky I am in terms of both friends and family that this sort of thing wasn’t an issue. My take has always been, if someone wants you to come to your wedding they will ask you and, if asked, you should do everything you can to get there but … a true friend (family member or not) will understand your reason if you can’t make it.