Just play some goddamn football already!

Yes, folks, merry olde Eng-er-land is in the throes of World Cup fever. Every TV channel is running football-related shows. Every TV, radio and newspaper ad has some reference to football. Every pub is trumpeting the fact that they will be showing games X, Y, and Z. Every product I buy seems to have a picture of David-freaking-Beckham on it. Employers are already making plans to compensate for people taking time off work (or just not showing up) in order to watch the games. And somebody’s stuck the “Day-By-Day Match Guide” on the wall of the corridor near my desk.

So what’s my problem? My problem is that this has been going on for months now, and it’s still two weeks before the England team first puts foot to ball. Two more weeks of endless pontificating over how England might do. Two weeks of everyone from the Queen on down wishing the team well, and hoping that they all recover from their various injuries before they actually have to play some football. Two weeks of commentary on Erikson’s love life, Beckham’s foot, Seaman’s hair. Two weeks of listening to endless “official” and unofficial football anthems from Terry Venables, Ant & Dec, Fat Les, and on and on and on…

I can’t take it anymore! Why does England do this every time, only to have their hopes dashed? And why isn’t there somewhere in England to escape all this? Can’t we just take it as read that England will lose in the first round, it’s a terrible thing about Beckham’s foot, Sven did his best, better luck next time, blah blah, and move on to something else?

Oh god – I just remembered: “something else” will be all of the above applied to Wimbledon and speculation about Tim Henman, who will then lose in the semi-finals again.

That does it – I’m moving to a monastery. (After Londope on Saturday, of course. ;))

There’s always the test match.

Hooray Vaughan!


More I say! More!

Well, yes, I guess you’ve got a point. As a fairly avid football fan even I am getting slightly exasperated with the amount of coverage and build up.

I refuse to let myself believe England have got a chance regardless of the hype.

Having said that, I did rent I.D. (film about football hooliganism) last night…

The season may be over 3 months away, but you know, the NFL Europe is in full swing. They show games every weekend on cable. Keep your eye on the Frankfurt Galaxy’s Joe Hamilton, he …

Oh, you mean soccer? Um, nevermind.

Ah yes - right up there with Godwin’s Law: given any thread about association football, the probability that some Merkin will come in and make a smart alec remark about American football approaches one as the thread length increases.

So you call your most popular sport “football” too. Well done. We’re very proud of you.


It’s times like this that I miss the Women’s Curling Team. The Olympic final was probably the last time I sat glued to the TV (not literally, of course) biting my fingernails at the tension of it all. Football never really does it for me.

Of course, the Women’s Curling Olympic final was probably also the last time England WON anything…

No it wasn’t. Scotland did.

You could come over to America on holiday. Even if the US side makes it past the first round there’s not likely to be much hysteria over here. Nice and peaceful.

:: cricket chirps in the distance ::