Just punchlines

. . .why the long face?

Footprints in the butter.

So I bucked one, and Timbuktu!

The Aristocrats!

A stick.

A pool table.

“But, honey, this one’s eating my peanuts!”

I didn’t wish for a 12" pianist.

Yes, I knew Pancho Villa…we had lunch together!

That’s one.

Praise the Lord!

So the parrot says: “What did that chicken say to piss you off?”

Potatoes!

No, I said SHIP me a ton of bricks!

…That was the narrowest runway I’ve ever seen, but damn, is it wide!

You don’t understand – Chunks is my dog!

…to get to the other side!

That’s all you do…bird imitations?

…I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?

Listen carefully: bring a posse.