In fact, I recently saw a bodycam video in which a Karen was arrested for precisely that. She was already at home, and after a brief interview in which it was clear that she was the one who had thrown a cup of water at the victim, she was cuffed and arrested, all the while expressing outrage, claiming “it was just water”.
I got a beef with your puns; they’re corned corny!
He has a rye sense of humor.
Wheat’s wrong with that?
I hope his lawyer’s fees don’t cost him a lot of dough
My Hero! (Check the image in the article)
Trump admin will get its vengeance one way or another even if not as much as they’d like.
I am unsure what penalty this misdemeanor might carry but I know some misdemeanors can potentially carry jail time. No need for a grand jury.
Community service of some sort? A first offense misdemeanor will likely get him a slap on the wrist and a stern lecture from the judge.
Depends on the judge don’t it? If the judge is MAGA he’s going to get the maximum.
Up to one year, in the case of a federal Class A misdemeanor.
Good for him it was salami instead of ham! 
I don’t believe that’s how it works. Based on my legal expertise (entirely based on following Ken White aka Popehat on Bluesky and watching the occasional Legal Eagle Youtube video) I believe federal judges are required to follow federal sentencing guidelines, which use a formula taking into account various aggravating and mitigating elements and spit out a pretty narrow range of penalties which in this case I’m guessing will be zero jail time.
NOT GUILTY!
I knew he’d beat the wrap.
Thanks to Pirro, everyone in DC knows exactly what level of “interaction” they can have with federal officers without committing a crime.
I’m buying Subway stock.
I’m kind of surprised. Esmerejidado Guerrero got 30 days for something very similar.
“… (T)hrowing a sandwich at a federal officer at point-blank range.” Did forensics determine whether the sandwich was six-inch or a footlong?
“I had mustard and condiments on my uniform, and an onion hanging from my radio antenna that night,” the agent said. […] That could win a Bad Hemingway contest.
I got the title for the agent’s autobiography: “TO HELLMAN’S AND BACK”.
As was the style at the time.
It was a footlong that had been cut down to six inches, which puts it in the same category as a sawed-off shotgun, legally speaking.
Which, to be clear, was a lie; the sandwich remained completely wrapped.