Just something I gotta get off my chest

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, my sister’s a sophomore in college, and is currently having quite the rough time. She’s never really fit in with people, and at the tail end of last year, she met what is basically her very first friend ever, Hope.

Well, not basically, but literally. My sister really doesn’t have anywhere near what people would call “people skills.” She’s one of the absolute nicest people I’ve ever met, but it’s like it’s impossible for her to read people, and gauge how much energy to put forth. This has caused people to find it really, really hard to relate to her, and thus, she has been a loner. We love her dearly, but she’s definitely what one would define as a “flake.”

Anyways, back to the present. Hope and my sister are sharing a room, but something is amiss. Hope’s a bit overreactive about everything as well, so the general energy in the room seems to have been building. Along with the tension. There’ve been a few fights, and my sister isn’t too good at coping with fights.

To add to things, she’s unhappy with her major, but we can’t tell if she really is, or if she only thinks she is. She gets like that alot. With her, there’s no middle, she’s either really up or REALLY down.

Well, tonight, my sister calls, and apparently she and Hope had a fight last night, over Hope using the phone while my sis was studying. My sis went a bit over the top, and got in Hope’s face, and Hope hit her. Like, a punch.

This caused the understandable tension, which has spilled back into my house and left me generally confused and kind of depressed. The way things work in my house is that my dad and I are kind of the moderators, sorting out things between my mom and my sis, who take everything over the top. My dad takes care of things from a disciplinary standpoint, I tend to look at em as more of a “shrink.”

This system usually works, and I find that I’m actually pretty good at looking at problems rationally and helping other people, like friends and family, with em. But with my sister, nothing seems to work for any of us, and we really want to help, but nothing’s working. I just…I dunno, I feel like everything is building up, and I don’t know what to do, except wait it out.

I guess I’m just asking that people would please say a prayer for, or think a happy thought for, my sister, because I can’t even begin to imagine how she feels, and for once I really don’t know what to say, and frankly, that scares the hell out of me.

-J

2

Oh. Shoot. I posted in IMHO for some reason. Mods, would you please mind moving it to MPSIMS? Thanks a million. I’m still baffled as to how I managed a forum jump.

3

I’ll say prayer for your sister. I got one of my own to worry about, and it does worry me. But she thinks I’m the one to worry about, so I guess we’re evenly burdened.

4

I hate even suggesting this, because I don’t like it when people try to fit complex scenarios into ready made psychological boxes. But…

Have you considered the fact that your sister might be manic depressive?

5

I’ll certainly send along my best wishes, Jester.

In the end, you’re right–about all you can do is wait it out. Be there for your sis…but don’t let worrying about her consume you.

I hope everything works out.

6

I was going to suggest what Enderw23 said.

But really, maybe you should suggest looking into it.

And in the meantime, try not to let the tension get to you too much.

7

////Jester\\

I think lots of people have trouble living with roommates. Everyone’s family is different and people often think that the way they lived in their families is the only proper way to do things, and everyone else is wrong. They find out differently, and that is part of growing up.

I am concerned that Hope punched her, and wonder if this is actually a safe environment for her now. Do you think this could escalate further? Is there an on-campus counselor who could help them (are they rooming on-campus, in a dorm)?

Maybe it would be better for your sister to transfer to a private room, where she could retreat when she wanted privacy, but, if she is in a dorm, go to the lounge or common room for company.

Best wishes to you and your family, Jester.

8

Transfering this, per request of OP, to MPSIMS.

9

Thanks, all of you, this really means alot. And I won’t soon forget it, neither. Ender and lola, I’m pretty sure that she’s not manic depressive. While I could see it as a possibility, she has been to therapy a couple times, and the worst they could come up was mild ADHD. She just seems to have alot of trouble reading people, like I said before. But I don’t think I or my family have completely ruled it out as a possibility.

Well, hugs to you all, I’m feelin better tonight, thanks in part to the lot of ya.

10

Sending best wishes for your sister, and for you.

Sorry it’s late, I have this job that cuts into my real life.

(((((((Jester and sis)))))))

Scotti

11

Jester!
Oh man, my love goes to you and your sis.

(Her roommate hit her? HIT her? Not good, not at all. Friends do not use physical force. At all. Ever.)

Hugs. For all envolved.

12

Hugs to ya, Jester.

Even ruling out bipolar or other psychiatric disorders, I think recommending counseling for your sister and Hope mightn’t be a bad idea. I don’t know of any campus who didn’t have something like that… but you want to look for real counseling, not “Roommate Conflict Resolution.”

LL

13

Okey, well, I guess that I’ll give an update as to the current situation. Frankly, things are looking up.

Hope and sis talked to the college counselor, RA, etc., and it was decided by a random drawing that sis would move out. So, she was bummed out about that, until she met her new roomate.

Sis describes Roomie as “Kind of weird, with a history of small learning disorders like ADHD.” In other words, Sis is moving in with a clone of herself. The two of them met, talked, and seem to have hit it off, so here’s hoping that it works out.

Sis was home this weekend, and seemed really upbeat. She’s decided to at least stick with her major for a while longer, till things calm down.

I just wanna say thank you to all the people who replied to this with wishes. All of you guys really helped me through this, and gave support where it was really needed. I can’t begin to thank you enough, I have a special place in my heart for all of you. I’m indescribably glad that I’ve found this MB, since it’s full of people I can relate to so well.

Thanks again,

-Walt

14

yeah… friends DO NOT HIT each other… get your sister out of that room now!! There’s no going back over that threshold once it’s been crossed, even if they stay friends.

15

I’m so glad to hear she got a new roommate, but pity whoever got her old one. Anyway, this sounds much better for your sister.

-----:slight_smile:
—////\\

16

I’m glad to hear things are better, Jester.

17

Are they going to stay friends? It could be possible, I think, but would require some effort.

18

J, I’m so sorry this is late to post. But I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and hoping your sister is getting through this. I did a lot of learning–mostly about myself–when I went away to college. And I was not lucky enough to have my big brother close to give me support.

Lucky girl.

19

Remind me to tell you all how my brother broke his hand on his best friend’s forehead… and then drove to the hospital so his friend could get 6 stitches…

Seriously, Jester, your sis sounds like several people I know… and it’s good to know she met somebody she can tolerate.

At least she doesn’t need to get up 2 hours before everybody else just so she can get a running start at becoming sociable

20

Sorry I missed this, and sorry your sister’s been having trouble. Glad things are looking up and hope they remain so.