Hello all. I have been an avid reader of the SDMB for quite a while now, but I have just now gotten around to actually registering. I just wanted to extend a hello to all of you and see if there are any questions you might want to ask of the “new guy”. Feel free to ask me anything, trust me I won’t be offended. Well, this is going to be it for my first post, all of a sudden I feel so accomplished. 
DuhMan
Welcome. And don’t forget who was the first one to shake your hand and give you a cup of punch. There’s granola squares and brownies on the table. Have fun!
struuter
Struuter was the very first Doper to welcome you. You lucky, lucky man.
Weclome aboard.
“Weclome” - from the Sancrit “We-Clo” - to say “Howya doin’”
Welcome aboard.
Believe me, I feel very lucky. I think I will help myself to the granola squares now. Thanx again guys.
“Sancrit” - from the French “Sans Cretin” - "A non-existent language thought up by someone with far too much caffeine running through his veins.
Welcome aboard, hope you enjoy yourself.
Gomez
You…you devil, you. How sweet.
Say, DuhMan…so can we call you Duh for short? Or do you prefer the whole thing?
Duh is just kosher with me. I’ll pretty much respond to anything spoken in my general direction.
You are lucky dude. I’ve been here for months and Struuter still has not welcomed me yet.
Welcome and have fun.
Hello, Duh-man.
{Psst, Xizor. Flirt with her, she will respond}
Nothing new here, go about your business.
WHAT?! Well…did you have a welcome thread? Did I miss it? If you didn’t, you better so I can welcome you personally.
Duh…I didn’t have a thread when I registered here. I was shy. And now I wish I had. It took me a long time to feel comfortable, which is silly because all these people are soooo nice. Good move on your part.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I’ve been astutely judged. Man, I hate it when that happens. Oh, well. At least I’m consistant. sigh
I would be more apt to welcome you if you could provide any of the following:
Get to work. 
hmmm - I didn’t do a “welcome me” thread, but I figured my natural joie de vivre makes me welcome anywhere the road may take me.
Oh yeah - hiya, Duh!
Well, helloooooo you! How you doing?
Seriously, hello, and welcome to the nut house. I’m one of the resident flirts/nuts/silly peoples. Glad to make your aquaintance. Hope your stay here is long and profitable.
Hi there!
And welcome aboard.
I’m sure you’ll love this place.
it’s great.
Heya Duhman, welcome. Hope you have a nice stay, because you won’t be leaving anytime soon. Buwahahahahahaha!
Hey there, DuhMan. Nice ta meetcha.