Just when you thought their commercials couldn't get worse

I’m talking about those stupid motherfucking Baby Bottle Pops commercials. It was bad enough when it was a bunch of kids dancing and singing a stupid shitty poppy song in a fifties style diner that gets stuck in your head and JUST
WON’T
GET
OUT!!!
But now…NOW…HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OF GOD!!! We’ve got people with big, huge bodies and little baby heads. MOTHER FUCKING BABY HEADS!!!. It’s not just disgusting, creepy, and wholely disturbing, BUT THEY’RE NOT EVEN DONE WELL!!! They’ve had methods of making animals and babies talk (or at least look like they’re talking) since the developement of film almost, and yet these people can’t be bothered to make these horrific abominations appear to speak?! No! But they can apparently SPIN THEIR HEADS AROUND LIKE A FUCKING TOP!!!.

Cripes, I guess this looks more like a rant, but still…these fucking ads creep the shit out of me. What ads have there been out there that you once thought were bad, but when they got a new campaign just made you want to smash the producer’s face against the curb?

Fast Food movie tie-ins. I hate them all. Anyone remember going to see Batman Forever and seeing the movie start with that damn McDonald’s commercial we’d been seeing all month?

vile

Y’know, I almost started a thread about this too. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks those Baby Bottle Pops ads are highly disturbing.

[sub]to say nothing of the actual product itself…[/sub]

How about commercials WHILE the show is running!! Yo, this isn’t an uninterruptible soccer match!!! And it isn’t informative as the Bloomberg channel either. Antics like that ruined my love for The Weakest Link.

Never heard of these things. Now it sounds like I don’t want to.

Is that a regional ad, maybe? I’ve never seen Baby Bottle Pops ads, although the name alone is enough to put it in my hate forever list.

I hate most commercials. Any commercial in which a person is so obsessed with a product that their entire life revolves around it is evil. Commercials in which people are excited about things that would-in real life-just create a small amount of satisfaction, (such as finding a tenner in a pocket, or pulling into a tight parking space) are evil. Commercials with cute little kids doing improbably cute things or being wiser than their parents are evil (not the kids, just the commercials)

There are a few funny commercials, but not many.

Sounds terrible. Thank God i have never seen one.

You’re probably safe as long as you stay away from morning kids’ cartoons.

It’s the price I pay for liking “Buzz Lightyear.”

I’m sure it’s on a national level, as it is a national product manufactured by Topps. Baby Bottle Pops are lollipops shaped like baby bottles with flavored powder, too. The idea is to lick the pop and dip it in the powder.

The idea of the ads is that Baby Bottle Pops “bring out the baby in you.” Hence one of the children losing his baby head when he runs out (which is what our red Elvis-like friend was referring to in his original posts when pointing out that the babies can spin their heads like a top.) I have no other insight except that Baby Bottle Pops have existed for four years.

However, they aren’t as interesting as the new, non-advertised Fr-ooze Pop, an American lollipop which has caught some flack in Singapore due to its penis-like shape. I’m not kidding. (The fruit ooze that comes out of the top-no pun intended-didn’t help its Singaporian critics, either…)

I thought this was going to be about the new Subway ads. I’ve been on the verge of starting a “They found someone MORE annoying than Jared!” thread for weeks now.

I’m referring, of course, to their ads promoting the fact that they now serve breakfast. It starts off with this teenage kid, who just somehow oozes obnoxiousness, ordering his mom to fix him an omlette to his oh-so-exact specifications. Then poor little oppressed teenager is forced to eat cold cereal instead! Oh, the humanity! Luckily, Subway comes to the rescue. I’d like to see him try that little stunt on MY mom. He wouldn’t have had the cold cereal handed to him, that’s for darned sure!

But then that wasn’t what this thread turned out to be about.

Ah!! So sleeping until noon on Weekends pays off again!!
Oh, Smeghead, i think “The Usual” is the Subway commercial that should make God rain fiery death upon that empire.

The Viagara commercial in which a black guy is at work and everybody senses that something is different with him. WTH? I know, I know, it’s supposed to be his general air of contentment (I satisfied my lover last night!) rather than the, ahem, Viagara-induced erection itself, but COME ON!

That, and the office equipment servicing company whose commercial shows bored female office workers sabotaging their equipment just so that they can call for a cute repairman to pay a visit. Reverse-sexism is still sexism. Imagine being a regular shlub with less-than-GQ looks who actually works for that company…

Both of those ads are so wrong, in so many ways.

I was just going to post something similar about a commercial that runs on the radio in Cleveland during Indians games (meaning we hear it at least 8 times a night, almost every night, for 5 months straight).

It’s a commercial for First Energy, the local energy company or some crap like that. And since I hear it so much, I will now repeat it here for you:

“Man: honey, who’s that?
Woman: That’s our son bobby.
Man: I know who bobby is, who is that man with him?
Woman: Oh that’s [name], he’s a lineman with first energy.
Man: I know who First Energy is. They’re Ohio’s blah blah blah something energy company. But what about that man?
Woman: Oh he’s a lovely man. He’s a sagitarious. He plays rugby, his favorite mean is beef wellingto–
Man: Yeah, but what is he doing in our house?
Woman: Oh, he’s setting up Bobby’s train, something you were supposed to do weeks ago.
-First energy crap-
Man (to lineman): Hey, could you cut it out with the reliability stuff?”

Anyway, this commercial is SO BAD because the woman’s voice is totally scratchy and annoying, she sounds totally stupid, and the commercial is WAY too long, and never changes, and for a product most of us will never buy/already have/don’t even think about. I mean fod God’s sake, you’d at least think they’d shorten the commercial a little bit or switch it up since we hear the same commercials at EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK ALL SEASON!!!

It’s bad enough that we have to keep hearing “ba ba ba ba ba, the joy of Pepsi” over and over again, but at least it’s shorter and catchy, and it kind of makes me want a Pepsi.

Ugh. Anyone work with commercials? Isn’t it bad form to run the exact same ad to such a niche audience for so long? ESPECIALLY IF IT SUCKS SO BAD?!?!

I add the Verizon commercial where the guy taunts his ferret until the thing latches on to his tongue. He then spins around the room squealing with the ferret still attached as he dials “SOS” on his text-messaging cell phone. He finally runs out of the house past the annoying “Can you hear me now?” guy who’s still doing his thing. Fuck you Verizon and your ad agency, you found a way to make your commercials even more annoying.

Maybe if you have the Verizon guy being chased by a pack of rabid dogs, running for his life, while screaming “Can you hear me now?!?!?!”