Just wrote a letter to my Dad saying I don't want him in my life anymore.

I just wrote a letter to my Dad, saying that I don’t want him to be a part of my life anymore because of the way he has harassed my Mom since they separated a few months ago and seems to take pleasure in the fact that she’s alone and in rough financial shape. Obviously, that’s my take on the situation, and I’m sure he’d tell you a very different story. I’ll leave out the details.

He paid about $3500 for my college tuition this semester, and the letter also says that I will pay him back that money as soon as I can, since I have failed all of my classes due to some other personal issues.

I haven’t yet sent the letter, but I fully intend to. I need to talk to my sister and mother before I do, for one. But I also want to spend some time thinking about it before sending such a letter. I was hoping that some Dopers could tell me about instances where they’ve done something similar, and their experiences with it. Or maybe someone out there has been on the receiving end of one of these letters. Mostly, I’m just scared. I think it’s the right decision for me, but I am really not looking forward to sending it out. Life is Hell, huh?

Don’t know you, or your dad, so I can’t really evaluate your decision. But keep one thing in mind. Folks do change. You might, he might, and your mom might. So drop back, and do hold him responsible for what he does to your mom, but don’t entirely close yourself off from him. Mostly I advise you not to be a part of their bad relationship. They fucked up things for themselves, and you get to suffer. But being a part of the ongoing war is not a good thing. Don’t carry messages, grudges, or sniper shots for either of them.

Tris

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Jung ~

As said above, I don’t know you or the whole situation, but can you tell him how unhappy or angry you are with the way he’s been treating your mom, without cutting him off entirely? I understand there may be reasons to do so, but I’d hate for you to do something unfixable when maybe you could get the point across in a less permanent fashion. Is it possible that if you tell him this he’ll change or start to see you position? Is it possible that in several years you might want to talk to him again? Is it possible that if you have children someday you might want them to have a chance to see him?

Talking it over with your mom and sister is a good idea, and sitting on it for a couple of days is another good idea. Things do change, and it’s hard to tell now what might happen if they do.

And I second the idea that you should stay out of your parents’ fight. It won’t help you or them.

I’m not really the one you were asking, since I’ve never done it and can’t imagine having to. I hope you can find your way through this to something better.

8 years ago, the day after I graduated high school in Florida, I was on a plane flying 1400 miles away to live with my grandmother.
My father had no idea. I said goodbye to him that morning as he left for work, and he came home to an empty room and a letter left on my bed.
He was abusive in every manner save sexually. My parents had divorced; my mother was an absent alcoholic. There was absolutely no way I could have survived living 4 more years with him. So, I gave up a scholarship that paid 75% of my tuition, what few friends I had, his $500 graduation present and made off on my own.

If it had been left up to me, I would not have left a letter. I would never have called him, emailed, sent cards, nothing. I would have had nothing to do with him ever again in my life. But my grandmother, in her wise and caring way, told me repeatedly that I shouldn’t burn my bridges. She was wholeheartedly behind my decision to leave and fully endorsed it, knowing of the abuse, but she recognized that my feelings towards him my change with time, that I might be able to look upon his actions later on in life and see them in a different light. That I might one day want a relationship with him, that I may one day want to resolve my feelings and emotions towards him.
So, a year after I left, I went back on vacation and met up with him for lunch. We talked. We’ve kept in touch via occasional emails. I send him birthday and Christmas cards, and he returns the favor, including a check with my cards. We stay in contact, but it doesn’t go past the surface. Nothing has changed; I still have some very negative feelings for him and his actions, and I have not yet had the desire to sit down with him and truly get to the heart of everything. I still have to force myself to reply to his emails, and I still see what he writes through a large cloud of cynicism.
I’ve been back in FL for over 2 years now, a mere 1.5 hours from him, and have not made the trip to see him, nor indicated any desire to see him.

But, my grandmother is right. I shouldn’t burn my bridges. The past 8 years have allowed my to grow and mature, and I have become more tolerant and more understanding. I don’t forgive him, but I can see there is a possibility that one day I might. So, until then, I give him the part of myself that I can.

I’ve never been in your situation. But I have been in a few where the luxury of time allows me to reconsider how I feel at a given time. Sounds to me like you have a little time.

So talk to your sister and your mother. Take the time to think about how you yourself feel. If, eventually, you think a letter such as you describe would do the job, then send it. But if not, then don’t. But IMHO, nothing can be gained by sending a letter “in the heat of the moment.” If you have time, then use it; review your letter, make any changes, and so on. If you can say that you’d still send it after, say, a week, then you’re ready to send it. But don’t do it in a blind rage. Hope this helps, and good luck!

I’m biased. My childhood was such that the concept of father-love is utterly alien to me: I find myself feeling bewilderment when someone refers to their father affectionately–they must be either lying or stupid–or when I’m watching a movie on the subject. It just does not compute.

So you’re way more mature than me: I took a cab while he was in the shower 25 years ago and haven’t had any but the most obligatory, big-family-event-like-a-wedding-or-funeral interactions with him since that time.

So of course my advice is stick to your guns. People don’t change that much. Especially fathers. But more seriously, do think about it hard, and be sure. If you’re sure, I wish you the best of luck in your new, dad-free world.

Remember this always: you only have one dad.

Think long and hard before you send that letter

I have never known my father. I have only seen one vague old side shot photo of him, and I’m fine with that. But when I was growing up, it was hard. I had always wondered what was so shitty about me, that he wanted nothing to do with me. I was merely a monthly check. That’s one thing I can respect him about; he sent child support, accompanied by the same note every month: “Well, guess it’s that time again. Hope all is well.”

At about the age of 12 or so, I asked my mom for his address. Turns out he lives somewhere in Washington (won’t say where, for obvious reasons), and I sent him a letter. In it I said things about how hurt I was, how angry I was and how much I hated him, even though I didn’t really have ANY idea who he was.

The next month, the usual note and check came, along with another one. All it said was…

“Such anger for one so young.”

And that struck a painful chord with me. I had expected to impact him more… So I let it go, and forgot about trying to connect in some way.

Then, about 5 years later, I wrote a letter of apology telling him how although I sent the letter, the feelings weren’t really there. He was my scapegoat. I made it clear that I accept things how they are, and that it never needs to change. I wouldn’t say I burned any bridges, and although it’s not the same thing you’re dealing with, it’s as close as I’ve got.

I guess my point is, do what you feel is right. Follow your bliss, and things will work out for you eventually. You always have the option of apologizing, and then it’s his choice whether he wants to respond or not.

FTR, he never replied to the second letter, which is what I hoped for.

First, give yourself some time to analyze your own feelings, and be sure of what you’re doing. My first thought was that you probably feel guilty for failing a semester on someone else’s dime, and haven’t quite come to terms with that yet.

Your father is a human being, and if you look hard enough at anyone you’ll find a dozen reasons to hate them if that’s what you’re looking for. If you’re running away because you’re embarassed of your failure and don’t want to face him, you’ll eventually regret it. Be sure of what you’re doing, and what effect it will have on your family.

Unless you’re physically afraid of him, you should talk to him in person about this. This does not seem like a case where all he deserves is a letter that denies him any chance to even ask you “why?”

Don’t send the letter just yet.

You say your parents separated a few months ago and it seems your desire to cut him out of your life is on the basis of his behaviour over these past few months.

A marital separation is an extremely painful process for all involved, and it’s not at all uncommon for people to lash out and cause pain, due to the pain they are feeling themselves.

However well you think you know the details of your parent’s relationship, there are aspects you don’t know. Each parent will give you a very different version of the truth and will be adamant that they are the one being wronged. It’s very easy to take one person’s side and see the other person as the monster. In many ways, it’s easier because it’s simpler – he’s wrong, she’s right. But the reality is, if there has been a breakdown in the marriage, chances are that both spouses have been involved in that breakdown.

Obviously, I don’t know your family history, but I would caution against judging the entirety of your father on his behaviour during such a difficult period of his life.

I don’t have any useful experience in this matter, but I would like to ask; is there anything that you feel would be achieved by sending him the letter, that can’t be achieved by simply ignoring and avoiding him?

Whatever else is true, your father deserves, but has no right to know how you feel for him. The responsibility for the emotional wellbeing of any child is entirely on that child’s parents. There is no duty the other way. Keep the letter, send the letter, do what makes you able to deal with the undeniable fact that whatever else is true, you don’t have what a child should have. Perhaps what has happened to him had a big effect on how he treated your mom. That has no bearing at all on how he treated you. Don’t be in their relationship. Don’t live your life to serve your parent’s needs.

I suggest that you seek another mature person, one you yourself admire and respect, a mentor, and a friend. Your parents have failed you. (Yeah, your mom too, sorry to point it out, but eventually you will understand that both ends of a boat sink at the same time.) Get your attention off them, and onto you. Be blunt, honest, but unengaged in your communication with your parents, for now.

I have been in this ugly drama, and didn’t do it well. I don’t want my money back from my children. I want, and cannot have the chance to be what they needed, when I was busy not having a loving relationship with their mother. The issue of who was at fault is simply part of the hate. They have to eventually let that go. You should never even pick it up. You should certainly never be willing to be part of the fight.

Tris----------------------------------

“Aurë entuluva!” (Noldorin: Day shall come again!) ~ Hurin ~

I wonder if you could talk to him (with some one else present). Instead of writing a letter. Maybe you could tell him tha t it seems to you that he is not, or has not treated you, your mother etc. fairly.

I learned that with my parents although I was an abused child I look back and see that even though a lot of what they did was not good, they did the best that they knew how. I confronted my mother in my later years and told her of how I had been hurt. She denied everything ,but I felt that at least I had let her know. I forgave her and no more was said. I realized they had issues they took out on us children; that didn’t make it right but it didn’t inflame any one and I was able to get past it, My younger sister never did and it affected her all her life. She passed away at age 57.

Monavis

In my experience, when a couple first splits, there’s usually so much bitterness and animosity from both that neither side is acting as they should. As time goes on, your parents might even develop a friendliness.

Please don’t send the letter yet - especially since you don’t really know the ins and outs of their relationship. You can limit your contact with your dad without cutting him off completely.

Are you trying to punish him for leaving your mom? Please let them resolve their problems without the children taking sides.

I was lucky to have a great dad. Think about it - maybe you are too.

I wrote a similar letter, although mine was different in one significant way, because I didn’t end the relationship with my mother, I set boundaries and asked for no contact for a period of time.

Long story short, I was in therapy for childhood sexual abuse by my biological father and she was not at a point in her own life where she could acknowledge it happened (on her watch) or offer any sort of support or encouragement–instead everything then was all about her. That was not healthy or helpful to me so I wrote what’s come to be called the Boundary Letter.

She was beyond irate at first, because as was typical for her then she viewed the entire thing as an attack on her. It wasn’t (although the first three drafts were!), but as I said at that point in her life she didn’t have the ability to see the letter in anything other than black and white terms. Since I wasn’t for her, clearly I was against her.

Now 10 years or more (think maybe 12 now? wow), she and I have a much healthier relationship based on respect and love. My mom isn’t one to keep things at all but she’s told me several times that she kept that letter and has re-read it from time to time. Today she says she’s amazed she felt attacked because she sees the letter for what it was–a way for me to create the space I needed to heal from what happened.

My suggestion to you is to consider if you need a break or if you need a permanent end. Your emotions are probably running very high, given that your folks recently separated and also given that by your own account you’ve failed this semester due to other issues going on.

How about writing your letter as an “I need space” letter? And have a couple of trusted, level-headed friends read your letter so you send the message you really want to send. It’s easy enough to re-establish a relationship after a brief pause; it’s much harder if you’ve gone nuclear on someone.

Several decades ago I did the same thing. My father was a bit of a brute and when I was 16 and he sent me an Xmas card and not my brother it was the last straw.

Didn’t see him again until his deathbed some 30 years later. He asked for absolution in his own way but I couldn’t give it. Some things you just can’t forgive and some people are best just cut out of your life.

My husband was sent a letter like this. He hasn’t received it, because I read it first. Before you ream me for reading his mail, letters from family usually have kids’ school pictures or something for both of us, and those are considered family mail, and whoever gets it first can open it.

The letter is from his son from his first marriage. He and son’s mom divorced when son was 6 and his older sister was 10. My husband remarried a woman who had three kids, and they later had a child together. First wife also remarried fairly quickly, and moved with the kids to another state.

My husband admits to neglecting his first family in favor of the second. He remembered birthdays and Christmas and paid child support religiously, but he was a long haul truck driver, and his home time went to his second family.

Things got better with first daughter later on, and they’re close now. She’s in another state but we manage to see her and her family a couple of times a year, and there are phone calls, e-mails, and text messages.

When first son got in some trouble about ten years ago, he phoned and needed $1,000. We sent it to him. That was our first personal contact with him for several years. (He lives in Georgia and was in the military for a long time.) Since then things started to be more normal – phone calls on his birthday, Christmas boxes, etc.

They were here for a funeral three years ago. We took them out for dinner, took the kids shopping, and spent the day together. Everything was fine. Son commented that I was much nicer than dad’s second wife: “I like YOU”, he says. He also commented about how much we’d spent on the dinner and shopping, and I said “That’s fine, your dad owes you”, and son said “No, he doesn’t.”

Then two years ago my husband went to Florida for a bowl game. He stayed with his stepson’s family. I told him he should stop in Georgia on his way down or back and see first son, but it was winter and weather was iffy, and he didn’t.

That seems to have been the proverbial straw for first son. In his letter, he tells how hurt he was that dad was nearby but didn’t bother to visit. He talks about how dad always preferred his second family to his first, and said he’s stewed about it for years. He said he wants no contact, ever.

I wrote back to son and asked him to reconsider his letter. I told him his dad realized that he had shortchanged his first family, but that he loves him and his sister very much and does the best he knows how. I reminded him that his dad was there for him when asked, and that things would likely have been different if not for physical distance. I told him I’d hold on to the letter for two weeks, and if I didn’t hear back, I’d give his dad the letter.

It’s been a month, and I haven’t heard anything. It’s dishonest of me, but I won’t give my husband the letter. What’s the point? He can’t turn back time. He can’t atone.

The part that really niggles me is that first son is very religious. He even had his own church for awhile. Where’s the forgiveness?

So yeah, write a letter, get things off your chest, but unless your dad’s the kind of person that you’d get a restraining order on to protect yourself, don’t send it.

It’s easy to say you’ll repay $3500 in tuition, but will you really? Human nature being what it is, I find it hard to believe you’ll cough up 3.5k that you technically don’t have to. I know I probably wouldn’t.

If you send the letter, a better plan of attack might be “thank you for what you’ve given me, but I won’t be needing your help anymore.”

Good luck.

Don’t send the letter. People who are in a failing marriage say and do things that are awful. Your dad is human. Be a better person that that.

I think the letter is a bad idea. Your reasons for not wanting him in your life aren’t your own, they don’t seem to have anything to do with how he’s treated you or anything to do with your relationship with him.

It sounds to me like you’re attempting to punish him for hurting your mother. My advice to you is back off and butt out of their relationship. It’s not your job to protect or defend your mother.

If he is truly a negative influence on your life then I’d still council careful consideration. At least try to talk to him about what’s bugging you. Talk to your mother and sister as well. Sounds like you need to vent some stored up emotions and you’ll feel better about it if you’re not hurting someone else in the process.

Punishing people or getting revenge isn’t always as rewarding as you’d want it to be. Sometimes it leaves you feeling worse.

This is a difficult time for everyone involved. Good luck to your and your family.