Kansas Redefines Science

Buried in this woeful story about the Kansas school board ‘downplaying’ evolution is this gem:

Words fucking fail me. Somebody else will have to help me out.

There are two quotes that I think cover my thoughts on this.

“There is no emoticon for what I am feeling” - Comic Book Guy

“Oh. So that’s what fury feels like.” - Brian Regan

Do we have any idea what they rewrote it to be? I’d really like to see that.

And while we’re at it, I’d really really really like to see the credentials behind the dipshits that felt they could rewrite the definition of science. I’m sure that they are all nobel laureates and employees of Merriam-Webster.

The more I think about this, the angrier I get. How do people like this get to keep their jobs?

Perhaps Kansas is simply destined to be stupid. Fuck 'em.

Adam Savage, Mythbusters

Kansas shall from now on be described as the “American Taliban State.”

I’m going to rewrite the definition of stupid to include the entire state of Kansas.

Why am I picturing the state legislature as a bunch of guys with their eyes shut tight and their fingers i their ears going “lalalalalalala!”??

Why not redefine math to no longer limit it to logic? Students could use a Ouija board to solve word problems.

I hate to say it, but maybe yeah. Might have to write these folks off.

“You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.”

IIRC, there are some Dopers we’ll have to move out of Kansas first, though.

What the fuck is it with Kansas, anyway? :dubious:

Oh you guys! Give em a break! They didn’t change much… they just reversed a couple of words:

“the search for natural explanations of phenomena”


“the search for phenomenal explanations of nature”


New State Song same tune:

Home On The Range

Oh give me a home,
Where the BS comes from,
Where the dumb and the addled they play.
Where seldom is heard an intelligent word
And the heads, like in OZ are of hay.

Home, home of the srange
Where even Von Daniken’s OK,
Where seldom is heard an intelligent word,
And the Thetans will soon get fair play.

Two words: Sam Brownback.

Scary, huh? It’s like watching Al Pacino do King Lear on crack.

There are freaky fundies elsewhere, too, but they just aren’t as organized as Kansas. Maybe it’s the lack of large bodies of water, or hills taller than 100 feet, or the everpresent mooing, the mooing of the cows. Whatever it is, it is compounding. South Dakota would probably be worse if there were more than four people living there.


From now on, next to the words “Stupid” and “Ignorant” in the dictionary, should be a little picture of Kansas.

Haha, that’s great stuff. I can see many states following up on this victory. Any takers on the next one to fall? Georgia? Kentucky? Alabama? Considering this is a mainstream position I wouldn’t be surprised to see this spread across the country over the next decade or so.

Scary stuff.

Some people are just plain stupid.

How is this going to affect college admissions for these kids? Could an out-of-state university refuse to acknowledge that a student from Kansas had taken biology, for example?

Our new state motto:

That would be cool. AFAIK, it is also entirely possible. Every university is free to make its own rules as to what, is and is not acceptable coursework in high school. Fort Hayes State would see a boom in enrollment. :smiley:

Let’s not overract to this, guys. Stupid as this thing is, they are still teaching evolution. And anyone taking biology in college is going to get his ass handed to him if he tries to pass off ID as science. Anyone not taking biology in college is not going to remember any of his HS biology anyway.

Calling them “the Taliban” is at least as bad as what they are doing.

I’m not in any way endorsing this crap. Those of you who’ve debated this topic with me in GD know where I stand. I just can’t get all up in arms until they actually take evolution out of HS biology, and I don’t see that hapenning. The slippery slope aregument doesn’t cut it on this subject.

Ok, folks, I’ll admit it. I’m from Kansas.

I’m sure if all of you would let me know your locations, I could quickly come up with a list of stupidities for YOUR states.

Maybe if you stopped feeling the rush of being “smarter than thou” you would come to realize that there are those here who look upon the board’s actions with a sense of dismany.

In other words, you’re all dissing a place I love. So shut up with your knee-jerk, oh so sophisticated and learned reactions of “fuck em all”.

To the OP in particular. If you can’t even compose your own paean of outrage then you either are very poorly educated, or you must have had some other reason to post. Eaten many goats lately?