News Flash: No one sends postcards anymore. Your daughter sees things on Facebook and e-mail every day that are ten times worse than whatever you erroneously wish to shield her from in that postcard.
I was trying to be adaptable.
I have a theory that all parents look upon their kids as slightly younger than they really are. In other words, they grow up fast but you aren’t keeping pace.
I base this idea partly on my own experience. I was screwing around like a muthafuck before my Mom thought I was sufficiently old enough to receive some “Facts of Life for Teenagers”-type books from her. You know – the ones that skirt the issue ever so carefully and say nothing remotely useful like how to give head. I laughed and laughed.
So if you have a 16 year old, you probably are treating him/her as 14. If the kid is wise beyond his/her years, the gap widens.
I’d say this should be kept in mind when deciding what to do.
That depends on the show/book/whatever. If the parent refuses to let the kid read a book about safe sex or evolution because it offends the parent, then that’s bad too. Keeping your kid ignorant about a relative’s bad behavior does the kid no favors.
I heartily agree. When I was around that age or slightly older, my Mom returned something I had ordered because she couldn’t believe I had ordered it (I had), and she didn’t tell me (trying to protect me, :rolleyes: ). She didn’t open the package, just didn’t grok the shipper’s name. I only found out when the shipper sent me a discrete note in a plain envelope asking if there had been some mistake, since it was prepaid.
That was truly an unforgivable breach of trust, you bet. Kids grow up and their tastes are different from yours. Deal with it.
This just in: We get two or three postcards a week, on average.
The opposite is also true: kids think they are wiser and more mature than their years, when in fact their parents, who have been around the block, can see that they are not.
I think it’s pretty well settled that parents have very wide latitude to shield minor children from what they see as objectionable material, stemming from the broad parental authority* they are granted at common law.
I’m not sure I buy Bricker’s argument that you must hold the postcard in trust until the child reaches majority. That would seem to undermine the general assumption that parents can exercise discretion in their childrens’ best interests - which surely includes the power to dispose of “trust” property.
*There are any number of constitutional cases affirming this idea, such as Parham v. J. R., 442 U.S. 584 (1979) (parents can institutionalize minor children over their objections, subject to certain review requirements), or Pierce v. Soc’y of the Sisters, 268 U.S. 510, 533 (1925) (state can’t make you send the kids to public school).
ETA: I don’t think the moral side of the question is any different from the legal side. Do what you think is best for your kid.
Well, I don’t have an opinion but I do want to know the story behind the hypothetical, and I also want to know more about all these postcards your household receives, Elendil’s Heir. I haven’t received a postcard for around 20 years except for people wanting to sell me insurance and the dentist reminding me of an appointment. Are you talking about personal ones, like the one to your daughter? Really? Please explain!
I get about 4 or 5 a month.
I still get about 8 postcards a year. Though I cannot remember the last time I sent one. But I am terrible about postcards and thank you notes.
I would agree that IF the card’s content would fall into the realm of abuse, then I’d happily get rid of it, and likely think twice about any further contact with that relative.
If it was simply unpleasant, and my child was emotionally able to handle unpleasantness, then I send it forward, with a mind to discuss the content.
How far under the age of 18. A preschool child yes mail should be screened, a 17y11m old no it should not be. Where that line changes from yes to no will vary on the maturity of the person (and the maturity of the parent), and the severity of the postcard.