Top 15 reasons will get 'em in the mail via Carrier On-board Delivery and U.S. Mail.
Contest ends midnight (EST) 13 March 2000.
Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master
Forward deployed until 18AUG00
P.S. E-mail me your address.
Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master
Forward deployed until 18AUG00
I am a universally beloved figure , & the idol of millions. Or is that Kato Kaelen? 
You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks
“You should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself.” - Bill Clinton
The Air Force is sending my little brother to Naples at the end of April. A picture would help the young lad recognize the place where he’s supposed to get off?!
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
a) Because I asked?
b) Positive proof that sailors are literate?
Why, Chief, because I’ve watched you and GBS for a long time now, was around when you had to leave for a little bit to make her feel better, and was SO proud of you for doing so.
Because a stronger supporter for you two you’ll never find, even if we’ve never talked.
Because you’re cute and she’s beautiful.
trisha
Because I asked real nice and said cheesy please?
Safe trip.
Because poor little Timmy has had both his kidneys stolen, and his Mom was shot dead in a gang initiation when she flashed her headlights at an oncoming car, and his Dad has AIDS from getting stuck by an infected needle that someone put in the coin return slot with a note wrapped around it, and the American Red Cross said they’ll donate one kidney for every five hundred postcards from Italy that people send to Timmy, and Bill Gates will send Timmy $10,000.00 and give him a trip to Disney World if at least 100 of the postcards have a Proctor and Gamble symbol on them. That’s why.
Don’t do it for me, do it for little Timmy.
Dr. Watson
“Philanthropy is my life.”
Because I’m going to Sicily in two weeks and know almost NO Italian?
Skip the “Having a wonderful time” nonsense and tell me how to say “Bugs Moran could kick Al Capone’s butt.”
Hope you’re enjoying the liberty!
Uke
LOL, Dr. Watson, that was hysterical.
Chief, you should send one not to me, but to Bluesman, my wonderful husband, your brother in arms, who is also far away from his family for a long time at the behest of his country. And, he’ll send you one back from that lovely garden spot, Saudi Arabia. Ooooh, won’t you be jealous.
NO DAMMIT!!! JAPAN! JAPAN! Oh, and could you send me a Russian bride, it gets cold here… round bedtime! Oh, and no fatties or ugmoes!
Kisses!
}><(((^><^)))><{
Ophy
…because I have Satan on my side.
Why? because I have never been there and it would be so very nice of you to share your experiences with me. Think of all the memories we would have!
Because I am GBS’s daughter…and if you don’t, I’ll tell her it’s because you hate me and things could begin to spiral from there…but.smiling coyly…if you get me something really cool, I’ll tell GBS how awesome you are and how she should keep you around…
Oh…and don’t forget my birthday is in 3 weeks…this is your opportunity to get major cool points from me… 
Hey…I gotta get something outta of this
-Chris
(you’d think something is wrong if I didn’t mess with ya… :))
I want an Italian postcard, with Italian postmark, manufactured by real Italians, signed in Italian…or some reasonable approximation thereof, because, in primo luogo, I love Italy, Italians, & Italian culture, in secondo luogo, I’m planning to take on an Italian persona (probably Florentine, maybe Sicilian) in the Society for Creative Anachronism, and in terzo luogo, it would make me very very happy–capite?
And, hey, I spent way too much time on babelfish figuring out how best to write this, so, I should get something, no?
P.S.: No! No! “Guinea” is an English coin! Good Grief! By the time it sunk in, I’d already stuck myself with the name, OK?
Because I am not going to use any smilies in this post.
Because I will never go to Italy myself. ::sobbing::
" The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference."
Elie Wiesel
Voted SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that)
Because I have never willingly inflicted a smiley on you.
Because I am officially (as ludicrous as it is) the Most Valuable mundane and pointless poster, the friendliest and the Female most posters would sell their right arms (not to mention Little Timmy’s dialysis machine) to meet.
Because GBS likes me and you’re not gonna do something hopelessly stupid like question her taste, hmmmm?
Because how often in the past have you neglected to bring cheer and sunshine into the life of a dedicated, self-effacing librarian?
Besides, I egged you on to some of your finest (::ahem: moments in Guy Stuff Classic.
Veb
Honey, if you don’t send Dr. Watson something, I am!!! and please don’t forget my buddy Veb…
Girlbysea (AKA: ChiefScott’s GBS)
Thanks, Girlbysea! And in all honesty, I think we should all innudate Dr. Watson with postcards for his hilarious offering.
I have the perfect one picked out for him: pitch black background with cheery blue lettering: “Night Life in ____!” Okay, midwestern humor.
Though Dr. Watson strikes me as much too sensible to post his mailing address here for the assorted lunatics and misfits–not to mention every other doofus, pervert and web insect to use.
Sorry. Tangent. Carry on.
Veb