My parents, especially my dad, always told me I should never have to work at a job I hate. That’s why they didn’t freak out (I thought they would) after I told them I wanted to change my major to geology after I spent two plus years as an architecture major. I hated architecture because I was bored with it and at 20, I couldn’t see myself spending the rest of my life trapped at a desk. I don’t regret my decision for a nanosecond.
I know it’s not really comparable to a second part time job at an ice cream store, but nobody should ever have to work at a job they hate doing (because the job sucks or incompetent management). If you hate your job, you are probably in the wrong line of work.
She needs to keep the job. If and when she is fully financially independent, then the need for money or otherwise is up to her. Until then it is perfectly reasonable for dad to be saying he wants her working 40 hours a week - and no that is not too much for a 20 year old. My first year of uni I was doing 60 and 70 hour weeks at near minimum wage in the holidays - in addition to 25 hours a week during school time.
But also, if the issue is learing responsiblity and getting life experience more than the money, I say let her come up with a suggestion of a charity / volunteer organisation she wants to support for those 20 hours. This would be better on resume, help the community and may be more enjoyable for her…
I guess that’d be a great approach, if the OP wanted his kids to hate him. It’s never wise to be a hardass with the people you want to take care of you when you’re old.
Does she get to have a social life? Being “busy” is great and all, but “having friends and hanging out and creating memories to look back on when she’s 40” is great too.
if a job makes you really unhappy, you shouldn’t be forced to do it. there are other jobs out there. being mature enough to walk away from a bad job, in search of a better job; or even just a better use of your time, is something everyone should learn to do, at least once.
eta:
and by “better” i mean “more valuable, in any sense, to the individual in question.”
That takes a certain personality & a certain level of desires & priorities. I long ago realized that I don’t have that personality or those desires/priorities. If I had to do it all again- yeah, I’d have gotten a job sooner & worked harder, but I stayed out of the work-force far too long & only entered it when I had to. And I’d be less in debt but I’d still be in debt because there are things I want to do & have now, and am willing & able to pay-off long term.
She’s already quit. Good for her. If she wants to work or volunteer elsewhere, good for her. The only thing I’d object to would be if she decided to totally goof off for the summer.
That sounds like a formula for misery to me. Nope, not worth spending the best years to your life working obsessively so you can supposedly enjoy your leisure at some vague later date, by which time you may well be dead, chronically unhealthy, or so tightly wound from years of stress that you can’t enjoy anything.
I know people who are young who have that attitude, and for them, no matter how much money they have stashed, it’ll never be enough. They’ll never be able to enjoy what they’ve earned because they can’t bear to spend any of it, or if they do, it’s a rat race to earn it back. They are or will become workaholics, and they know this.
That said, I also know people in their 20s and 30s whose bodies are damaged from working fast-food and other menial entry-level jobs. Their joints and backs are shot because of repetitive stress injuries that went untreated.
I’m with the others. Having money in the bank is nice and all, but not at the risk of developing a workaholic mentality or risking workplace injuries at such a young age.
This was just a second job. And I can relate from experience that burning yourself out from a crappy job over the summer is not going to help your school work. Life is too short to make yourself miserable. If she needed the money that’s one thing, but there shouldn’t be anyone telling her to do something that she doesn’t enjoy just because.