Kids do the damnedest things (My son drank from the toilet)

Crazy kid. We have a child-proofing doohickey on the bathroom doorknob, but the little hooligan figured out that if he pushes the door hard enough, it pops open. So in he went, and before SmithWife and I figured out he was in there, he’d scooped up a handful of water and drank it. :smack:

Add install new bathroom door to my “honey do” list. And if anyone has a sure-fire method of disinfecting a two-year-old, I’d be glad to hear it.

You can also put a “toilet” lock on the lid and side. My youngest twin loves water and to her joy found the porcelin throne has a ready supply. :o

Eh, he probably won’t come to loads of harm from a two-year-old-sized handful of water. The water in the toilet is “clean” - it’s the container that’s filthy. Don’t be surprised if he has a couple of really disgusting diapers, but unless he exhibits any real physical distress, I’d let him be.

For the record, two-year-olds in general are easier than three-year-olds. You might consider having him kenneled until he’s, like, six.

When the lad begins licking his balls and chasing cars, it’s time to see a doctor and post the video. :smiley:

Um, ick. Someone did remember to flush first, didn’t they?

We REALLY need a pukey smilie…

Y’know, that’s one of the standard signs of lycanthropy. You’d better rub him with garlic and wolfsbane before the next full moon.
I’m just sayin’.

Has he eaten dirt yet? Or shared a dog’s chew toy?

Ah, the joys of parenthood.

My little precious once came into the kitchen, made a face saying “Yuck” and spit out…

a little piece of poop from her diaper.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

She was fine, I had to try and not be sick myself!

I am saving this story for when she is dating.

Hmm, that reminds me of this guy I knew in HS. :wink:

That is hysterical!

We have an 11 month old who is fascinated by the toilet…loves to play in the water. Blech. Unfortunately, we also have a kid who’s potty training, so we can’t really block the pathways to the bathroom. We just leave the lid down and cross our fingers (and keep our eyes open). I don’t know what we’re going to do when he figures out how to open the lid himself.

I’ve had to do this a lot lately…
<screams and runs away from thread>

Not my kid, but he is my Godson and I promise I will tell this story to his prom date…

Lil S. walks in on dad taking a whiz in the bathroom. Looks at dad and his equipment and comes up with his assessment of the situation… “Tail on you! Tail on you!”

When dad explains that what he saw was in fact not a tail but a “wiener”, S starts calling all tails he sees’ wieners. The cow, the Saint Bernard, even the guy in the dog suit at Petsmart now has a “wiener!”.


The other day at playgroup, the hosting mother offered my son a cup of milk. He pipes up with, “Milk comes from cows! From the five penises that you go like this too…” {demonstrates milking a cow}

Weiner?!? :rolleyes:

The proper medical term is fireman.



According to my FIL, the term is dinger. At least that’s what I was told second-hand. I’ve not discussed my FIL’s, um, dinger with him personally…

Fireman is from South Park IIRC, Cartman calls it that.


Nah. It’ called a “Doodle”. Fry on Futurama said so, so it must be true! :slight_smile:

I’m familiar with the fireman reference. I’m glad I have a daughter so we could just use the clinical terminology when I warned her to stay far away from those things till she was married *at least * 3 years…


I have always used the clinical reference - if only to watch my then two-year-old approach my stuffy inlaws explaining “Grandpa has a penis, Grandma has a vagina.”