Heh. On the other hand, if I had a nickel for every guy who seemed mortally frightened of my vibrator (and it’s a perfectly non-threatening one), I’d have, um, fifteen cents.
Is it just me, or is a mini-Dopefest in order?
Heh heh heh. One with an extremely casual dress code, no doubt.
“Vanilla” is a quiet value judgment. It’s intended to have a connotation of boring, bland, and timid.
The unspoken premise is that the need for power play, pain play, etc., is so basic to human sexual nature that conventional sex could not possibly be “filling” or satisfying, and that anyone who finds it so is unnaturally repressed.
Me, I’m bread and butter all the way except for my foot fetish. This is actually more disgusting to many women than being slapped around, which never ceases to amaze me.
It sounds like you have the bargining materials. You will wear the skirt if he will do what you want.
As for me, well I enjoy some s&n type stuff, doll stuff, for me the most interesting thing is acting out her fantasy or at least getting her to even say her fantasy. I dont’ get foot stuff or any sort of water sports or beyond.
So do I . What sort of toys? Describe them in detail. And can you be on the east coast by midnight EST? 
Ah, you give me four hours’ notice! Alas, I live on a student budget, and I don’t think I could afford to be in Albuquerque by midnight.
Student?? Twentysomething with a bag full of toys? The weekend’s good for me…take your time 
.
Yeaaah, turns out I likely can’t afford to be in Albuquerque by 2012, either. I’m afraid those who wish to introduce me to this new experience will have to come (heh heh) to me.
I’ll leave to the reader to determine whether any of these qualify as kinks or not.
What I like seeing: GG, high boots, pull-up stockings (but not both at once), those sort of barbed-wire arm tattoos, and, er, page-boy haircuts (I have no frickin’ idea where that one comes from).
What I like doing: MFF, russian (if you don’t know, look it up) massaging feet (I’m pleased to say I’ve developed something of a rep amongst a small circle of female friends for this), male-to-female oral. In general, making myself useful to my partner, but not in any overtly submissive way.
What I like having done: female-to-male oral, getting my ears nibbled or just breathed into, light caresses to the back of my head and neck.
Like, totally not into violence or submission by either party. Just the way I’m wired, I guess.
Thanks for asking.
I don’t find a foot fetish disgusting, just bewildering. I don’t ever think of my own feet, except when they hurt. I don’t find them sexy, I don’t get anything out of a foot massage, and I’m far too ticklish to permit toe-sucking or any other such attention. I had a guy wax eloquent at me once, trying to convince me how wonderful foot massages are, and he WOULD NOT believe me that they don’t do a thing for me. I even told him I believed him that they’re wonderful for him, and he couldn’t let it go.
If a foot is nice and clean, why not lavish affection on it (provided the owner enjoys such a thing)? I don’t think it’s disgusting. I just don’t “get” it, myself. But then, I’ve had zero ‘sensual’ sensation in my ears ever since I had multiple cartilege piercings*, and can’t stand having attention paid to them either, and I know some women like that a lot. I know I used to.
As for rough sex, I can only theorize on the appeal of that. I know many women have rape fantasies, and I confess to having those myself. But I wouldn’t want to actually experience anything like it - it’s much better inside my head. And actually, inside my head it’s not me being roughed up, it’s somebody else, sometimes female, sometimes male (for variety). I think it’s a dominance/submissive thing (which is very common in all the animal world and humans are not exempt), whereas a foot focus is not?
I really like the phrase ‘bread and butter’ sex. I hope it catches on and supplants ‘vanilla’. 
- My old chiropractor is against ear piercings on the basis that there are points on the ears that accupuncturists use to stimulate certain nerves, and piercing cuts (using the needle method) or shoves a pointed piece of metal through the tissue (using the gun method), permanently damaging nerves. Given the effective numbness of my ears these days, I’m inclined to believe his theory.
This sounds utterly impossible to Google. Can we have another hint?
Dude, as we see whenever the topic of sex and/or dating comes up, you have some serious issues.
I’ve never heard anyone over the age of 25 use the term “vanilla sex” to mean anything like the above: I hear it used by people to describe a kind of sex that doesn’t do it for them, not to describe a kind of sex that they believe couldn’t possibly do it for anyone else. Most of the kinky folks I know firmly believe in “whatever works for you.” It’s the people who have “vanilla” sex who seem to be the ones with the hangup about the term, and are often the ones most likely to judge those who aren’t into what they’re into.
Sorta like you just did.
Dammit, you stole my joke!
Then I guess I’ve been misusing the term for a few years now. 
When I say I have vanilla sex, I’m not thinking about it as boring, bland or timid.
Well, it’s sure nice to be told what I mean when I (or anyone else) say something like that. …
I’ve always understood “vanilla sex” to be another way to say “missionary position” sex, ie, none o’ that fancy stuff, but by no means unsatisfying. Just “ordinary” as far as position goes.
I disagree. It takes more than doggie style to not be vanilla. Restraints. Whips and chains. Ya know, the good stuff. THAT’S not vanilla.
I’ve my kinks, but what I want to impart in this thread involves my experiences with every single intimate partner I’ve ever had. They all loved (love) rough sex and harbor extensive rape fantasies. This presented a problem for me because as a large and fairly intimidating guy I had to learn to ratchet back my physicality to get along with people in polite day to day life. As a boy you’re taught to be respectful, treat women with care and be a gentleman. So, here I was… terrified of being taken for a hulking potential date (or spousal for that matter) rapist… and I’m dating these girls (and married one in fact) that universally wanted nothing more than for me to just be exceptionally dominant and forceful. It was tremendously hard for me to believe that’s what they really wanted. I kept being terrified that there was this invisible line somewhere… and I had no clue where it was, that I’d cross it and they’d hate me. I still have trust issues about it to be honest. Also, because you’re taught growing up that being dominant and forceful in the bedroom is unacceptable… if you are with somebody who invites that kind of play, and you engage in it… and you Like it… you have guilt that you shouldn’t or that it makes you a bad person. I honestly don’t know why I ended up with women that had that kink (not that it’s rare), I’ve done some soul searching to see if I unconsciously sought out submissive partners and I really don’t think I did. I will say for those ladies with men who seem hesitant about exploring this aspect of their sexuality, be very patient and make sure you go slow with very explicitly stated boundries… it might help.
Dunno what you’d call this. “Fetish” doesn’t really apply, since it’s impossible to actually do, and “fantasy” doesn’t really work, because I’m not sure if I’d really want it to ever happen anyway.
Maybe “kink” is best: I’ve always found it very erotic to imagine myself switching places with my partner somehow — that is, if I were female and my partner were somehow male. For some reason I think that’s… well, kinky.
I do not (to my knowledge) have gender dysphoria, and I don’t plan on having any surgery. It’s just… I dunno. If it actually ever happened I’d probably freak completely out and my head would fall off and I’d probably die after that, but the idea of it just appeals.
Yeah, I know it’s weird, but you asked.
I haven’t a lot of sexual experience, but there are things that interest me. I tend to like chubby big-breasted women more than slender small-breasted ones (though there have been some very interesting exceptions). Tight clothes on chubby women can be very good too. I find a pierced tongue utterly fascinating, though I have not gone out with a women who had one.
I love watching women pleasure themselves. Singly or in groups.
In porn, I do NOT like explicit voyeurism–shots through windowblinds, for example. Neither do I like audible direction. Just let me see the women.
I can probably be better defined by the things I am not attracted to, though: anal, facials, semen-play, piss, shit. Anything with animals or other creatures who cannot give conset is right out.
I don’t know about rough sex. I suspect I might like it, but as lokij said, it would take a hell of a lot of convincing to get me to trust that my partner actually wanted it, and to know–and be able to tell–when enough is enough.
Most other fetishes I’ve heard about are not unpleasant to me, just incomprehensible.
The only kinks I have are in my hair. Oh, and in my neck sometimes if I move my head too fast.
But I think I’d like to have a boyfriend with a foot fetish. Having my feet touched doesn’t turn me on, but it’s so freaking relaxing. I pretty much want my feet touched all the time, it’s just one of the most pleasurable things ever. It’s one of those things that could make me fall asleep blissfully.