Kirk Cameron wants to know if You're a Christian

The BBQ Pit
21

Dammit, this sucks! I said I was “Innocent” of breaking every fucking commandment, and the bastard still calls me a sinner!

I am so going to smote his ass!

Of course, Kirk is a member of a sect that considers anyone outside of the ultra-fundies to be heretics and hellbond. Catholics-they’re gonna burn. Jews? Oh, hell yeah! I mean, the guy was in the Left Behind movies, for crissakes!

I don’t think Jesus would have thrown a fit and refused to associate with someone who posed nude. Hell, his best friends were prostitutes and tax collectors.

Way to follow Christ there, Kirk!
HE was the reason DiCaprio left? Damn. Isn’t there something in the Bible about “pride going before a fall?”

But then, what would I know-I was raised Catholic.

22

I found this to be far more chilling than funny.

I played along a bit. “No, I’m not a Christian.” Going through the commandments. You shall not set up an idol. OK.

But if you believe in a nice God that doesn’t send people to hell, then that’s just a God in your own mind–and that’s “idolatry.”

Never mind that the commandment isn’t a prescription against false beliefs about God–that would be heresy, wouldn’t it?

Ad hoc evil right-wing Christianity. All delivered in that unctuous Cameron voice. Just twisted.

23

<pop>

24

What’s scary though, is that they have an answer for everything. Someone who’s in a vulnerable position could fall for it.

I mean, most priests I know would often admit-hey, we don’t always KNOW this stuff, we can only do our best.
But not these people, no way! They know EVERYTHING.

Or how, if you don’t witness to people, it would be like letting some little kid run out in front a car before you could stop them, or some bullshit like that.
THE WACKY MISADVENTURES OF JESUS AND KIRK. Heh.

25

True…but those people also generally claim to be Christian. And he strangely enough doesn’t ask those questions of those who claim to be Christian. He askes then of those who say they’re not Christians, to which most of them answer…so?

So, an odd evangelical take there.

26

[Bill Hicks]

Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God’s infinite love… …

[/Bill Hicks]

27

My favorite Bill hicks line is the one about crucifixes?

"Do you think that when Jesus comes back he’s going to want to see a fucking cross :smiley:
Kirk Cameron is a douche, btw.

28

What th- I did his stupid test, was innocent of breaking any of the commandents (yeeees, I’ve never taken the Lord’s name in vain… shifty eyes) and I’m still a sinner? Who’d set up a no-win situation like that?

29

I once heard a strange bit of trivia, that Kirk Cameron has never shown his nipples either on television, in a movie, or in a photograph. I don’t know whether it is true, but if it is, it might explain much.

30

So H Double Hockey Sticks is still the place with the cool people then? :smiley:

31

Who’s Bill Hicks btw? I could google, but if you could give me a main link (some kind of comedian?)…

32

Yes, he was a comic who died about 10 years ago.

33

Bills Hicks. Cops routine. Say no more.

34

“I refuse to believe that I exist,” says the Atheist, “for belief implies faith, and without lack of faith I am nothing.”

“But,” says Cameron, “the Bible is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It proves you don’t exist, and therefore, by your own arguments, you do.”

“Oh dear, I hadn’t thought of that,” says the Atheist, and promptly disappears to talk to someone else.

(sorry, DA)

35

God? :smiley:

36

I found this one weird too. When, asked “are you a christian?” , I clicked on “No”, I expected arguments intended to convince me that I should become one. Instead, what I got was intended to prove I wasn’t a good christian, which is precisely what I admited to.

37

We aer all just pretending not to be christain! Didn’t you know that?

38

“Please don’t let your loved ones go to Hell without trying to rescue them.”

Viciously negative, viral memes–gotta love 'em.

39

Or a porn movie.

40

There is no safe word. God’s a very bad Top.