Kirk Cameron's 150th Anniversary ORIGIN OF SPECIES (expurgated, the one without the gannet)

Recreational Outrage.

Has been child star turned present day monomaniacally religious douchebag and all around dumbass Kirk Cameron (who is still quite doable) has in his never ending quest to save Christian fundamentalists from being thought of as something other than 1 dimensional charicatures planned a celebration of the 150th anniversary of the Origin of Species. He is releasing a commemorative edition: 50,000 hardbound copies of the book now with a new introduction by him and his pimp in Christ Ray Comfort.

PDF of the new intro here.

This is Kirk’s YouTube annunciation of the new version.

From the Living Waters homepage is this:

And weirdly the same page has this quote by Richard Dawkins:

I’ll contribute my own biographical entry for an extra $2:

For those not familiar with The Origin of Species, it was published in 1859 by Charles Darwin. Darwin was an English Satanist whose hobbies included child sacrifice and genocide and who also invented homosexuality while in British boys school. Some claim that evolution as a theory for humanity’s origins had actually been hypothesized at least as long ago as the ancient Greeks and by thousands of years of further natural philosophers and scientists including Darwin’s grandfather Erasmus (who invented homosexuality at a dinner party in 1793) and that Darwin built on their work, but this is of course rubbish. In fact Darwin was the only person ever to have such an absurd notion as evidenced by the fact that in the 150 years since its publication not one scientist has built on or furthered Darwin’s theory other than to bilk billions of dollars for this “Human Genome” thingy that is then funneled into providing abortions for unwilling girls. Darwin is believed to have received the idea when a dark robed figure came to him in a storm and told him to bathe in the blood of your first born son and you will have wisdom like no other", and since Darwin had planned to do this anyway (this being before moisturizer) “his eyes were opened” and he wrote the work. Darwin ultimately died praising Jesus and begging for forgiveness when he was being gassed by Adolf Hitler (who he had wetnursed) in a crematorium built according to the blueprints in the Origin of Species centerfold.

Though no living scientist takes evolution seriously today, The Origin of Species is still read widely by people who grow up to be serial killers, abortionists, and Democratic politicians. The book’s first known use was to beat Harriet Tubman into a stupor, and more recently exploding copies were planted by the roadside in Iraq.

So the new 150th Anniversary Edition with his own appendages is to be printed into said 50,000 copies, 1,000 each to be given out at “the top 50 universities” in the the USA. It is an exact copy of the original, only with a lot more Kirk Cameron passages. Kirk having once been an atheist he knows how to write like a 19th century scientist, and thus it’s almost impossible to tell which parts are his and which are Darwin’s. Below are **three actual passages **from the 150th Anniversary Edition of Origin of Species: see if you can tell which were written by Cameron/Comfort and which were written by Darwin (again, these are three actual passages):

Give up?

Darwin wrote Number 3

But Darwin NEVER could have been a heart throb on GROWING PAINS.

I know this is all about how stupid Kirk Cameron is, and I’m all mad with you and stuff, but what’s pissing me off most is Kirk’s misuse of the word dilemma. A dilemma is not just a problem. It is a problem with two choices, both of which suck.

Another gem:

Yeah… that’s 29.99 for the entire (unabridged) version without the Cameron/Comfort intro too, so it really sucks. Or the students can buy the same book for $8.95 brand new online. Or read it free from any of the many sites where the full text is digitized. Or check it out of the library.

I seriously doubt that BerkEley would tell anyone not to distribute anything outside of the classroom so long as the person distributing it is not confrontational or making a nuisance of himself/herself. This is the same whether it’s PETA, UNICEF, the Aryan Nations or Committee to Relegalize Cockfighting. However I do have to wonder if Cameron quite understands the notion of “banning” materials.
Saying “You can’t distribute this here” is not banning it. Saying “Any student caught with a copy of ______ is subject to disciplinary action” is banning it.
I’m not just saying it because I detest Cameron (although I do [although I reiterate he’s still quite doable]); I said the same thing when Bill Maher (who I don’t like as a person but whose views are much closer to my own) whined censorship when ABC cancelled POLITICALLY INCORRECT due to boycotts and protests and (above all) slipping ratings: your right to say what you want is not infringed; your right to get paid a lot of money to say what you like never existed in the first place. If BerkEley “bans” the distribution of this material I’m pretty sure it will be due to something other than the material and more to the manner of distribution; for example, if Cameron were to come and get in people’s faces and tell them they’re going to Hell I’d ask him to leave the campus, but I couldn’t care less if he distributes ORIGIN OF SPECIES (the one without the gannet).

Furthermore, stating the “dilemma” as he does, he unintentionally points out the real problem: That, from the POV of one who does not already believe in Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam or Christianity, the “dilemma” offers no rational or even irrational grounds to choose between them. Choose Islam, you might go to Christian Hell; choose Christianity, you might go to Muslim Hell. It’s like Pascal’s Wager, disingenuously assuming that Catholicism and atheism are the only options.

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

Good Omens, Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

Cameron uses Pascal’s Wager as his key argument every single time he’s on TV debating the matter. I honestly don’t think he has a clue that it was refuted 12 minutes after Pascal first published it. It’s incredible to me that somebody who had the financial liberty to “discuss the holy books with the learned men/7 hours every day” would instead say “Fuck it, I know all I need to know” and make such a fool of himself, though his ignorance is bliss evidently. (Maybe he’s in “the Bubble” ala Liz Lemon’s boyfriend {Jon Hamm} in 30 ROCK.)

[Larry]“Hey Moe… What’s a heart throb?”[/Larry]

[Curley]“It’s a pain in the Neck…! Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!”[/Curley]

[Moe]“Why I Oughtta…”[/Moe]

wrench clunk

[Curley]“Oooooh! Oooooh! Oooooh!”[/Curley]

[Moe]“C’mon, lame brains. We got work to do…”[/Moe]

He should be careful. Remember what happened the last time someone got in trouble for distributing religious materials at Brkly? Yeah, he turned out to be a major sex offender who kept a girl captive for 18 years. Cameron might have heard about it.

A video rebuttle to Kirk’s latest god-bothering recommended on another board:

Atheism needs more women like this to counter all the “I won’t set out Mama’s good china for a man who won’t say grace” Loretta Lynns out there.

Nitpick: As a historian, I can’t let this one by, but there really wasn’t a “flat earth” theory. People have known that the earth was round since the days of the ancient Greeks, IIRC. The idea that Columbus was the one who proved that the Earth is truly round is merely a myth.

So that chick needs to hit the books.

JESUS FUCK! My friend, I know what sluts, either way, guys can be, but can’t you manage to ignore your dick for JUST ONE CRAPPY MOVIE? I mean, jerk of before you see it. Jerk off TWICE before you see it. I mean, REALLY!

I think I missed something … what happened to the gannet?

And was their any mention of the similar birds known as boobys?

O Kirk Cameron. I had such a crush on you when you were Mike on “Growing Pains”

I think you might have to fight Sampiro for him. My advice: let him issue the challenge. That way you get to pick the weapons.

Unless he goes for the expedient of waiting behind the parking lot with a sock filled with sand.

Good to know, good to know. Sampiro seems like a crafty guy so I’ll keep my eyes peeled.

I’ve always thought of Kirk Cameron as a supercilious little twerp. I didn’t find him all that attractive in Growing Pains; in fact, I wasn’t a fan of the show at all. Once I heard about his demands to dictate the content of the show after he found Jesus, I lost all respect for him and for the producers for putting up with it.

That chick fucking rocks!

Hah! She was awesome!

But how am I supposed to learn atheism from a goddess?!

I don’t like them. They wet their nests.

“If you only burn one book this year, make it this one.”