LOL
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// hatever!
Klingons have won lots of Battles. Remember how they drove the Tribbles into extinction! (anyone else remember any details about that episode, I’m at work and a little braindead).
All right I have to ask this question to make sure I am not the only one:
Who here has seen a porno tape Sex Trek: The Maneater? It was a hard core porno flick that was making fun of the old-school Star Trek. My roommate had to go out to Las Vegas for the Air Force (yes he serves his country in the roughest of ways), and picked it up out there.
The worst thing was this porno’s sets and special effects were almost as good as the original series.
Way off, my friend. They kicked some mondo Changeling butt in the Dominion War, not to mention conquering Cardassia. No small feat, I’d say.
Now, in the original series and most of TNG, no, they didn’t win many battles. Damn writers! 
Esprix
In single combat, I’d have to give the edge to Kirk, although I wouldn’t entirely discount Sisko.
But these people are starship (or space station) commanders. We have to judge them by their crews, as well as on their own.
By that standard, we can pretty much throw out Sisko right away. No offense, Benjamin, but you con’t have much to work with.
And while Chakotay is a great first officer and Seven-of-Nine is a major babe, most of us will agree that the crew of the Voyager can’t compete.
So that leaves Enterprise A vs. Enterprise D. And what do we have –
First officer, Spock vs. Riker. Spock, hands down.
Engineer, Scotty vs. LaForge. Geordi’s not bad, but I’d have to give it to Scott.
But after that, Enterprise D outclasses Enterprise A all the way down the line. Goofy Ensign? Certainly Wesley over Chekov. Ship’s doctor? McCoy lost at least one crew member in every episode. Worf vs. Sulu? Come on!
And I haven’t even mentioned Data.
No doubt about it. Put Picard and his crew in the old Enterprise and give Kirk and the gang the newer, bigger, more powerful ship. Doesn’t matter. Picard would turn them into mincemeat.
I understand all the words, they just don’t make sense together like that.
Cactus Jack wrote:
Saavik: Admiral, may I ask you a question?
Kirk: What’s on your mind, Lieutenant?
Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir.
Kirk: Are you asking me if we’re playing out that scenario now?
Saavik: On the test, sir. Will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.
McCoy: Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario.
Saavik: How?
Kirk: I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.
Saavik: What?
David Marcus: He cheated.
Kirk: I changed the conditions of the test. I got a commendation for original thinking. I don’t like to lose.
Saavik: Then you never faced that situation. Faced death.
Kirk: I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.
The not believing in the no-win scenario is what makes Kirk a survivor and a winner.
McCoy, however, is an IDIOT. Remember the “Undiscovered Country” movie - after the humans have beamed over and shot the Klingon chancellor, and McCoy goes over to “help” but he gets all bloody without accomplishing anything, and THEN says he doesn’t know anything about Klingon anatomy! He’s performing CPR (which they didn’t know how to do in the series) but he doesn’t know where the heart is! Well, keep your mitts to yourself, then! And he’s all shocked when he’s accused of finishing off the Chancellor. Anybody could’ve seen that coming. Well, I know it’s a movie and not one of the original eps, but I never had much respect for McCoy, except in “Space Seed” when he was very cool in the face of Khan’s holding a knife to his throat.
Klingons? Don’t make me laugh. Kirk has never been beaten by a Klingon. Kirk has never been beaten by anyone.
He died, you say? Yes, he did. He didn’t get beat, though. He won, saved the universe. I said he was willing to make any sacrifice to win. That includes dying.
But let’s take look at that death, shall we? Who, exactly, is responsible for that?
The only reason he died was because that pantywaist Picard BEGGED him for help. Because Picard could not handle the situation himself. Any starship captain worth his salt would never beg another for help.
Did Kirk ever beg? If he did, it was only a trick to buy enough time to shut down your sheilds by remote control so he could blow you to bits.
Kirk beat Ricardo Montalban in a flesh vest and wig. He beat Jim, the guy from Taxi, in Klingon make-up. He beat Frank Gorshin, the guy who was the Riddler from Batman. He beat Sean Leonard, who originally played an evil Romulan, and beat him so bad he asked if he could became Spock’s father in later episodes.
Picard? Picard couldn’t beat Malcolm McDowell. So Kirk had to come in and beat up the guy from Clockwork Orange.
Finally, who do each of them turn to for advice on personal matters?
Kirk? No one. He was friends with Spock and MCCoy all those years and they knew nothing about his past. Given the opportunity to have “his secret pain” revealed before his friends, in the spirit of harmony and fellowship, Kirk said no.
Picard goes to Whoopi Goldberg whenever something’s bugging him.
Picard. Get outta here.
Ok I just don’t want this thread to die.
I think we have established that:
- Kirk is the superior Captain.
- Picard has the superior crew.
- I also believe that it is a toss up between Kirk and Darth Sidious (Mostly depending on whether or not Phasers are wide beam and can be blocked by Light Sabers).
However has anyone considered who would make a better Captain between say… The Rock from WWF or Kirk (or even Picard). I mean think about it they’re hand to hand combat looks about the same.
You mean, their hand-to-hand combat looks fake?
Cactus Jack wrote:
That’s Mark Lenard.
Is it possible that Kirk is the better captain but Stewart is the better actor?
You’re such a nit-picker, tracer.
Ok, I stayed away from this Star Trek thread as long as I could, but if you’re gonna resurrect it, I have to toss in some ideas. (damn habit of watching science fiction shows…)
If you are asking: Who is better able to solve dilemmas facing the ship or the Federation, the evidence in hand is in favor of Kirk. Almost always, where there is a result based on the ideas or actions of a member of the crew, Kirk was the initiator of the idea or action. Yes, he’s ham-handed at dealing with people at first, but he always manages to think his way through at the end. Picard, on the other hand, seems often incapable of managing to come up with a way to solve a dilemma. Sometimes he manages, but often he leaves it to his crew. This is, of course, in part due to the slightly more realistic approach of ST:TNG in having Picard stay up on the damn ship where he belongs, forcing people like Riker to come up with solutions.
On the other hand, if you are asking who is the better captain of his ship, I have to go with Picard. Picard’s crew is involved with him in a better way. Kirk seems incapable of having any relationship with crew off the bridge other than sex or dominance. Picard manages to keep an open relationship with his crew without seducing them or always ordering them around. Plus, dammit, he has civvies on board, which Kirk never had to deal with. Who would YOU rather have for a boss, Kirk or Picard?
Of course, Kirk’s ability with alien females is legendary…
Well, duh, that goes without saying - try to compare Dickens to priceline.com.
Now, for those of us who actually read the books (now that’s being a geek!), there are two other captains novelized - Christopher Pike, the first captain of the Enterprise (his relationship with Kirk has been explored a few times), and Mackenzie Calhoun, a wholly novelized captain of the Excalibur, who has his own series and crew.
I don’t know much about Pike, but I can say without a doubt that Calhoun would kick Kirk’s, Picard’s, Janeway’s and Sisko’s butts from here to the Delta Quadrant and back again - he was written to be that way.
Anyone else read these books?
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
DSYoungEsq wrote:
Much to the chagrin of Beverly Crusher.
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT BRUCE BOXLIGHTNER IS NOT THE MAN I WANT TO HAVE DEFENDING ANYTHING.(BABLON 5). IT’S LIKE SAYING CAPT. KANGAROO OR CAPT. CAVEMAN IS A GREAT UNIVERSAL DEFENDER BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. I AGREE WITH THE APPLES AND ORANGES IDEA BUT IF WE ARE COMPARING THEN LET’S COMPARE KIRK TO NUMBA ONE. RIKKER SHOULD HAVE HIS OWN COMMAND AND COULD KICK THE CRAP OUT OF PICARD AND WOULD GIVE KIRK AND SISKO A RUN FOR THE MONEY. BESIDES HE SEEMS TO RUN THE SHIP MORE THAN PICARD ANYWAYS. DON’T GET ME WRONG I HAD RESPECT FOR PICARD UNTIL HE DID THAT MOVIE ABOUT HIJACKING AN ALL BOYS PRIVATE SCHOOL./ANYWAY WITH RIKKER AT THE HELM AND DATA AS FIRST OFFICER WITH WORF AS SECURITY HE WOULD PUT THE WUPP BACK IN WUPP A**.
PLEASE TURN YOUR CAPS LOCK OFF.
OH, WELL, IF WE’RE GOING TO…
{AHEM}
{koff koff}
Excuse me.
If we’re going to get into other genre captains, then give me Susan Ivanova from “Babylon 5” any day, with G’Kar at the head of a Narn attack cruiser. The Narn make the Klingons look like bratty little kids, and Susan makes Janeway look like Martha Stewart.
And I do prefer Sinclair over Sheridan, but I’d take Kosh over just about all of 'em. And Londo knows how to party. 
Esprix
Ask the Gay Guy! (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, Asketh the damn Priest Guy!)
sorry about the CAPS LOCKS.
“Picard has a better relationship with his crew”?
Why should that matter? Okay, I’ll admit that the only thing “warm and fuzzy” about Kirk is his hair. And yes, he’s not really a team player UNLESS IT SUITS HIS PURPOSES TO BE A TEAM PLAYER, in which case, he’ll rah-rah you and pat you on the back all day long. If that’s what it takes.
But, like, so?
Since when is popularity the true measure of a man? Or in any way connected with his level of excellence?
As for the two crews, let’s evaluate with vastly different criteria and see what we come up with.
Now. What has Riker done? He directed a couple of episodes of the show. He also directed one of the movies.
He also hosted “Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction?” All of this is impressive, the last one most of all, I’m not arguing that.
Now. Spock. He directed two of the movies, including the highest grossing one. He hosted the great tv show “In Search Of.” He was on an episode of Columbo. He had an album. He did a comic book.
He also published a fine book of poetry, “Will I Think of You?” That beats “Alien Autopsy,” wouldn’t you say?
Advantage? Spock.
Geordi: Geordi was on Roots. A good, quality mini series. He did a good, quality job.
Scotty: Drank a lot, had a heart attack, went to conventions and bitched about how much he hated Shatner/Kirk. Wrote a book, a star trek memoir, after Kirk did, in which he said how much he hated Kirk.
Advantage? Scotty.
Beverly Crusher: ???
McCoy: Dead.
Advantage? McCoy.
Sulu: Wrote a star trek memoir after Shatner/Kirk, bitching about how much he hated Shatner/Kirk.
Data: Was in Independence Day. Was totally forgettable in a role in which the only thing required of him was to chew the scenery and overact outrageously.
Advantage? Sulu.
Wesley: Was in Stand by Me. A good, quality movie. Did a good, quality job.
Chekov: Was in some sci-fi movie on the USA network.
Advantage? Chekov.
Worf: ???
Uhura: Martin Luther King Jr. once said to her, when she was going to quit Star Trek the TV show, that she couldn’t. “Don’t you realize how incredibly important you are?”
Also, wrote a Star Trek memoir after Shatner/Kirk. Bitched about Shatner/Kirk.
Advantage? Uhura.
Finally:
Picard: A terrific actor, has appeared in countless roles on stage. Has done “Who’s Afraid of Virgina Woolf?”, “MacBeth,” and, of course, the one-person “A Christmas Carol,” a tour de force performance displaying remarkable energy and craft. Has been in the movies a lot, too.
Kirk: T.J. Hooker. Wrote two star trek memoirs in which he bitched about nobody, really, although he couldn’t understand why some people hated him. Wrote some star Trek novels. Wrote Tek War. Did cameos in video games. Countless appearances on Columbo. Was in a movie in which he was attacked by rubber spiders. Priceline.com commercials.
Recorded an album while drunk, in which he read Shakespeare and slurred his way through “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “Tambourine Man.”
Hosted “The Search for Houdini,” a three hour live special, in which he was drunk and ran around the stage trying to get someone to bring him another drink.
Advantage: Kirk