Kiss my XX Chromosomes, bucko!

The BBQ Pit
1

The following is a rant on feminine things.

Did you know that if Barbie were real, she would be 6’5, 103, and not be able to support the weight of her breasts?

I hate women’s/teenage girl’s magazines. You know the ones. Over 50% advertising, full of perfume ads, and peddling “fashion” that most people can’t dream of affording.

Their most odious element is the message. Are you too fat? Wear this. Hips too big? Wear that. You will be perceived as ugly, unattractive, and worthless unless you wear this, use this, speak like this, and talk like this.

Fuck you, pandering magazines. Small wonder so many girls have eating disorders. Oh, and by the way- the three page “true life story” of someone who survived bulimia? It is lost in the vapid gray noise of pages and pages of anorexic clothing models, messages enforcing unrealistic beauty, and whitewash interspersed with tokenism. This pretending to have a social conscience just isn’t working.

I am not ashamed of menstruation. Most every woman does it in the course of their lifetime on a frequent basis. Stop trying to tell me that bleeding is a dirty, secretive sign of weakness.

Oh, and by the way- I’m a bitch because I’m a bitch, not because there’s blood in my underwear. You can take that lunar cycle and impale yourself with it.

Furthermore, vaginas do not smell or taste like fish. They smell and taste like vaginas.

Once again, for those of you in the back:

People who think vaginas smell/taste like fish are having sensory malfunctions.

I don’t care what point in the month it is. Vaginas taste like vaginas, and that is a wonderful thing. They’re not inherently dirty or disgusting, they don’t need to be “cleaned up” by deodorant, they are not shameful.

And for the love of all that is holy and much of what isn’t, can we accept that an assertion of the feminine is not an attack on the masculine?

To those of you in society who have perpetuated lies about women: grow up, fuck off, face reality.

2

Abso-fucking-lutly!

My daughter’s 14 and I hate that she’s subjected to so much bullshit from the magazines that are supposed to be for young teens. She’s 14 damn it, I don’t want “sexy” to be a criteria for clothing selection and does she really need to have “kissable lips”??

As for the morons who say vagina’s smell/taste funny, I have one question:

Ever gotten a good whiff of YOUR naughty bits after they’ve been in your sweaty underwear all day?

3

damn typo.

Vaginas, vaginas, vaginas. There.

4

Whoa… I guess it’s someone’s time of the month!

*note- I can’t believe I actually wrote that, either. Those responsible have been sacked. I, personally, blame the voices in my head.

5

Such wit.

Oh, and happy women’s day.

6

But Andy, how will you be able to pick up guys if you don’t dress and mold your body just like they tell you to in the women’s magazines? :wink:

7

:smiley: lol@andygirl you tell’em andy :wink:

8

Exercise, man! If she does the proper muscle-building exercises, she should be able to clear and press a 180-pound man easily!

:slight_smile:

9

Got this in the mail recently, thanks for giving me a place to share it, Andy…

Hmmm, do you think 5 phenomenal woman reading this will fulfill the chain letter requirements? :smiley: And I know tha every woman on the 'dope is phenomenal…

10

You think you got problems with Barbie…hell, if GI Joe (the most recent line, anyway) were actual size, he’d be around 7 feet tall and have 30-inch biceps, beating the world record by about 6 inches…

It’s always misleading to translate traits from dolls/cartoons/whatever into real-life terms. Years ago, I read a book on drawing Marvel comic book characters. A typical human being is roughly six and a half times the height of their head; Marvel heroes are eight and three-quarters heads in height. It’s fantasy, hence they exaggerate. And most fantasies don’t involve folks (like myself) with dumpy body types.

So, what should we do when people/kids in particular feel they have to live up to the ideal of the fantasy? Beats me, but I don’t think ditching the fantasy is quite the answer…

11

Bill: You’re absolutely right. Where did I put my miniskirt?

Polycarp, you realize that you’re going to have to drive to New Hampshire and clean the chocolate milk off of my desk and wall.

BTW… I might say it with a smile, but I mean every word of the OP.

12

(What excellent timing!) I heard on the radio this morning a report that 1/3 of all teenage girls are on a diet, taking diet pills, laxatives, and exhibiting eating disorder behaviour. This includes girls as young as 10 years old. I submit that, yes, there actually is a very difficult and complex problem here, contrary to some of the opinions expressed in a certain thread in GD.

13

I hate to piss on the well-meaning parade here but does anyone have a cite for anything in relic’s email? Some of them seem believable (the one in four eating disorder stat, for example), but email lists like this are notoriously B.S.

Everytime I hear the “Barbie” statistic, her breasts become more and more detrimental to her day-to-day life. Pretty soon, they’ll have significant escape velocities.

Sure self-esteem is swell, and misogyny should be fought mercilessly at every turn, but is it worth potentially perpetuating ignorance? Especially on the SDMB. Besides, you don’t need phony statistics and apocryphal stories to make a good case against the ubiquitous female beauty myth.

Besides, when’s Ugly Broads Month?

14

<shrug>

I don’t know, Alphagene. I just wanted to talk about vaginas.

15

::laughs:: Andy, I like you! In a non-vagina way… :smiley:

Sorry, alpha, I got nuthin’.

16

Nope. I worked at a clothing store last summer. Mannequins are, IIRC, either a size 4 or 6. (I don’t remember which, but it’s one or the other.)

Regardless, I know size 2 women who menstruate. Although extremely low body fat, malnourishment, and/or athleticism can stop menstruation, that doesn’t happen to everyone.

That’s subjective.

Not exactly.

http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/mmdress.htm

And for that matter, saying someone is “a size 14” is virtually impossible. It has to do with the way clothing is made- most things are made “cookie cutter” style, that is, layers upon layers of fabric are punched through to create a cutout. The ones at the top are whatever “size”, but the further down you go, the more irregularities there are.

That’s why you can get three pairs of pants of the same brand and color at the same store and have them fit differently.

Also, sizing among different companies is different. Unlike men’s clothing, women’s sizes are, unfortunately, not standardized. I can wear a 12 in one label and a 16 in another.

So… no.

I got the “6’5 and 103” from a song, actually. Regardless of the precise details (and Max makes an excellent point regarding action figures) the overlying idea is that Barbie is an unrealistic standard. Still, however, I’d go with no.

At the store I worked at, we always, always sold out of sizes 10-14 first. That one seems reasonable.

That one seems reasonable if you tack on “or has had”. I’ve heard this quoted many times from reputable sources, and in my experience seems true.

Yep.

Need more info on this one.

The average size of models has indeed gone down steadily. I don’t know about the numbers.

The rest of it is standard forward glurge.

So, with ignorance being quelled, can we get back to the vaginas?

17

Well, this is the SDMB. Sooner or later all conversation comes back to vaginas anyway… :smiley:

smooches!

18

[qoute]smooches!
[/quote]

:eek:

It’s an epidemic! Inor, What have we started?

:smiley:

19

huh Go andy! huh Go andy! huh Go andy! huh Go andy!

(repeat as necessary)

20

Where does the height component come into figuring Barbie in real terms? Is she scaled against the Barbie Dream Mansion? Dream Car? If Barbie was a real person, she’d be 12’ tall scaled against the Barbie Dream Jet my sister had as a youth. Hell, even comparing her to her horse, Barbie is freakin’ huge. Oh yeah… so anyway, the taller you make her, the more exaggerated her stats will seem. 6’5" and 103lbs sounds worse than 5’5" and 85lbs (not that that’s a healthy weight/height ratio). Why not make her 7’5" and 112lbs? Anyway, where in the world are they getting six foot five from?