I peruse a book whilst um, occupied, “What to Expect - The Toddler Years”. It’s of the famed “What to Expect” line of books for pregnancy, infant years, college, etc. Just kidding on the college one, I’m not sure a “What to Expect - The College Years” is even a book yet. Give it time.
Anyway, in the book there are question and answer forums; in the chapter regarding 21 month-old babies a parent is questioning kissing them on the lips. No mention of mouth sores or contagious diseases involved. The way I read the question and answer was that some psychological damage might occur. The questioner mentioned that her M-I-L said it wasn’t “healthy”.
The answer is that if you feel comfortable smooching your baby on the mouth, it’s okay. Just okay. It says ““heavy smooching”, of course, is inappropriate”. What are they thinking?
I love my little boys (4 & 1.5) and relish the kisses and hugs I get. Just taught the baby to effectively give a kiss and boy are they wet ones – wipe your face with a towel wet!
Why in G-D’s name would anybody trip on kissing their own baby or children? Would/Do you?
One of the things that turned me off of the whole “What to Expect” series is the whole nuts-and-berries vibe.
That said, the only reason I can see for discourage “heavy smooching” is that some people might assume a sexual connotation. I disagree with that; there’s a rather fast slide from being smothered with kisses by my child and his pretending not to know me, but for some, it can be uncomfortable.
My daughter kisses me full on the lips and will chase your mouth if you try to turn. She has sometimes given “Big, tall kisses” which means a longer press.
Kids are kids and they can kiss their parents and family any way they like!
My kids always homed in on the mouth from the very beginning, but somewhere along the line they stopped of their own accord.
Now at five and nine, the younger one mostly kisses on the cheek (butt or face!!! His mouth is at my bum level so that’s often where he plants a smacker if he feels affectionate as he runs past!) and the older one is beginning to despise kisses anyway now. He usually has to be tackled and held down for kisses (which he secretly likes!).
It is like toddler nakedness - if you draw no attention to it, the kids will make the connection in their own good time and will not want to be naked by the time it matters.
I’m interested in seeing if anyone has a problem with this. Obviously you don’t kiss a kid on the mouth if they want a kiss on the cheek, but if the kid kisses on the mouth, so what?
Obviously this is anecdotal evidence, but here goes anyway…
I can remember being as old as nine and saying to mom (in front of dad) that I wanted to give her a movie star kiss. I’d then press my lips to hers and say, “MMMMmmmmMMMmmm” for about 10 seconds.
My parents were so cool. They didn’t make fun of me. They didn’t laugh. They just smiled and loved me back.
To this day I think it was adorable, and their not reacting like it was a big deal (and not embarrassing me) is what made the difference.
I swear the U.S. is becoming so frickin’ pedo-hysterical, it’s a wonder parents are allowed to raise their own children at all. I’m waiting for the laws that say a child has to be raised by robots in isolation until age 73.
ALL the women in my family (excuding my sister) were and are mouth kissers. I’ve never thought twice about it really.
Funny thing though:
My (male) friend and I went to my Grandmothers house for dinner.
After we ate and we’re getting ready to walk out the door, Grandma plants one on me like she always does and then she plants one on my friend. (which I didn’t see at the time.)
So as we’re pulling out the driveway; this is the conversation that took place :
Friend: “Dude! your Grandmother kissed me, (on the lips) man!”
Me: “Really man? Did she give you her tongue?”
Freind: :eek:
Me:
Yeah, I was in tears for the rest of the night from laughing so hard.
Uh… my parents and I will still do a quick kiss on the lips when we’re doing major, won’t-see-you-for-a-month-or-two goodbyes. And I’m 21. Trust me, it’s about as nonsexual as it can get.
If your toddler tries to slip you the tongue, worry. Otherwise… meh.
I kiss my 13 month old on the lips. So does his Dad. I would not kiss anyone else’s toddler on the lips, because all other toddlers are sticky and grimy and yucky. And kinda creepy. My kid’s yuckiness, though, is an exeption.
I literally burned my “What to Expect…Pregnancy” book because it was a horrorshow of stupid advice coupled with details of very rare horrible diseases that only made one worry for no reason (molar pregnancy? WTF?!)
I found the first year book to be utterly useless. The Portable Pediatrician is infinitely better, IMHO.
My cousin’s son is 2 and goes for the mouth when he wants a kiss. I see nothing wrong with it. He’ll stop of his own accord when he gets older so where’s the harm?
Kissing little kids on the lips is one american custom I like and would like to see imported here. It’s just charming. But it’s also just not done here.
I had once to deflect a niece’s lip kiss (I can’t remember how old she was…something between 4 and 6, I believe) and tell her not to do that, and I thought it was a pity.
As long as it is okay with you and your child, I don’t see a problem with it. I don’t advise kissing other people’s kids on the lips though. That sometimes involves screaming and lawsuits.
I’m surprised that some people find this practice icky.
My two-year-old niece also likes to plant kisses on the lips and I find it sweet that she loves me enough to want to give me hug and kiss. It takes her a while to warm up at first, but by the end of the visit, she’s adoring me (auntie)! I wouldn’t dream of telling her not to kiss me, or to only kiss me here (on the cheek).
Small children are inherently innocent. They don’t see any connotations to their actions and act mostly on instinct and mom’s prodding. My 4 y/o wouldn’t want to kiss strangers on the lips any more that I would. But family…whatever he offers them; they simply enjoy the affection.
Perhaps the child’s sex may have some bearing, but my husband doesn’t hesitate to kiss the boys at all.
I do remember being, oh, nine or so, and tried an open-mouth kiss on mom. She freaked of course. So would I, I imagine. But I honestly didn’t know any better. Prob’ly read about open-mouth kisses in some book. Didn’t know at that time exactly what they were used for, I guess. Oh well. Live and learn. I think that when/if one of my boys gets to an age where he tries this, then we sit down for “the talk”. :eek: Or at least my husband will.
My wife and I kiss our daughters (ages 2 and 4) on the lips, and I’ve never given it a second thought. I don’t think my mother kissed me or my sibs on the lips, however. On another note, my MIL kisses me on the lips and it really freaks me out. The cheek would be fine, thank you very much.
