Know any silly songs?

Cafe Society
21

Quartet: “There lived a man so long ago, his memory’s but faint
Was not admired, did not inspire like president or saint
But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets
For a special cure they knew for sure wouldn’t come from other vets!
Woooahhh …”

Larry: "This is a song for your poor, sick penguin
He’s got a fever and his toes are blue
But if I sing to your poor, sick penguin
He will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yada-yada yada-yada yad-eee-ooo!"

Pa: “He’s gone a little loopy,
In case you haven’t heard.
Here’s a couple’ pennicilin
For your sicky, arctic bird.”

Quartet: “No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut,
The wonderous deeds that went on in that little Alpine hut.
Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps
For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.
Woooahhh …”

Pa: “Good news on the penguin, doc! He’s up and kickin’!”

Larry: "This is a song for your pregnant kitty
She’s looking nauseous and a week past due
But if I sing for your pregnant kitty
She will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee yodel-eee-ooo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-hoo
Yada-yada yada-yada ya-ga-doo!"

Pa: “Jump in your car, drive into the city,
Buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty.”

Quartet: “The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day,
When the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay.
The doctor pondered this awhile, sat back and scratched his scalp, then said: ‘No way, Jose!’
To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.
Woooahhh …”

Pa: “Good news on the kitty, doc! She’s feelin’ great. Six kittens. Named one after you.”

Larry: "This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy
He looks uncomfy, think I’d be too.
But if I sing for your bear-trapped teddy
He will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee O-layhee Oly-ooo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba yaba-doo!"

Bear: “Grooooooowllll!”

Pa: “Oh, yeah - that’ll work. He’s good.”

Larry: “Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo!
No, wait! This should work!
Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo yodel-leh-hoo!”

Quartet: “Now the moral of the story, it’s the point we hope we’ve made:
When you go a little loopy better keep your nurse well paid!”

Larry: “Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo!
Yodel odle odle aye de aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!”

Quartet: “Oh! Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps
For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!”

22

Could you be thinking of “This Crazy Mixed-Up Song”? The chorus is sung to the “Stars and Stripes Forever” and is a lot like the song The Scrivener mentioned.

'Twas midnight on the ocean, not a streetcar was in sight,
The sun was shining brightly in the middle of the night,
A barefoot boy with shoes on stood there sitting in a tree,
And when I put my glasses on I heard this melody:

Be kind to your web-footed friends,
For a duck may be somebody’s mother
Be kind to the denizens of the swamp
Where it’s always cold and dahmp.
You may think that this is the end
Well, it isn’t, 'cause there is another chorus.

'Twas midnight on the ocean when the rain began to snow
The cows all started crowing 'cause the time had come to go
This crazy mixed-up guy was swimming all around the lawn,
Looking for the end of this crazy mixed-up song:

Be kind to your web-footed friends,
For a duck may be somebody’s mother
Be kind to the denizens of the swamp
Where it’s always cold and dahmp.
You may think that this is the end
Well, it isn’t, 'cause there is another chorus.

'Twas midnight on the ocean as he slowly rushed away
He thought it was tomorrow 'cause it wasn’t yesterday
And now he lives in Tennessee beside the pyramids
Raising lots of nanny goats and crazy mixed-up kids.

Be kind to your web-footed friends,
For a duck may be somebody’s mother
Be kind to the denizens of the swamp
Where it’s always cold and dahmp.
You may think that this is the end
Well, it is.

23

To the tune of “I’m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover:”

I’m looking over my dead dog Rover
Who I over-ran with the mower.
One paw is missing, the other is gone,
The third paw is splattered all over the lawn.
The fourth remaining is overhanging
The back of the kitchen door
I’m looking over my dead dog Rover
Who I over-ran with the mower.

More (can’t describe the tune):
The other day my doggy died.
Doggy died.
He died committing suicide.
Suicide.
Some say 'twas meningitis.
Some say he died to spite us.
He was a nasty doggy anyhow.
We ate 'im.

Hoitsy Toitsy Moiphy,
She soitanly was a goil.
She lived on toity-second street
Right next to toidy-toid.
She reads the “New Yawk Joinal.”
She reads the “New Yawk Woild.”
And all the boys love Hoitsy Toitsy
Cause her hair is coiled.

Also, does anyone know the words to Steve Martin’s Grandma’s song? (Be courteous, kind, and forgiving…Be helpful and thoughtful each day…criticize things you don’t know about…be oblong and have your knees removed…etc.)

24

I love his “Grandmother’s song.”

The lyrics are here.

Zev Steinhardt

25

Of course, there is The Rooster Song

I had a Chicken that wouldn’t lay eggs .
I had a Chicken that wouldn’t lay eggs.
I said, “now, Honey, this isn’t funny”, I had a Chicken that wouldn’t lay eggs.
Until that Rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard (bawk, bawk, bawk),
And caught that Chicken right off its guard.
We’re having Eggs now, just like we use to.
Ever since that rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard.

I had a Cow that wouldn’t give milk.
I had a Cow that wouldn’t give milk.
I said, “now, Honey, this isn’t funny”, I had a Cow that wouldn’t give milk.
Until that Rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard (bawk, bawk, bawk),
And caught that Cow right off its guard.
We’re having Eggnog, just like we use to.
Ever since that rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard.

Some other verses - Dog : have pups : Pooched eggs
Toaster: make toast : Eggos
Gardner: grow veggies : eggplant
Teacher : give tests : Egg-sams
Toy Shop: sell toys: Legos
Farmer: grow beans: Chick Peas
Brain : answers : Eggheads
Gum machine: give gum : chicklets

I had a Song that went on too long.
I had a Song that went on too long.
I said, “now, Honey, this isn’t funny”, I had a Song that went on too long.
Until that Rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard (bawk, bawk, bawk),
And caught that Song right off its guard.
We’re Egg-sasparated, just like we use to.
Ever since that rooster (bawk, bawk) came into my yard.

Zev Steinhardt

26

Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito
Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito
I’d stingy and I’d bitey under everybody’s nightie
Oh I wish I was a little black mosquito.

Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap
Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap
I’d slippy and I’d slidey over everybody’s hiney
Oh I wish I was a little bar of soap.

Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer
Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer
I’d go down with a slurp and I’d come up with a burp
Oh I wish I was a little keg of beer.

27

I was just reminded of this one. My grand children will hot here this one.

Theres a skeeter on my peter, whack it off.
Theres a skeeter on my peter, whack it off.
Theres a dozen on my cousin, can’t you here the damn things buzzin’
Theres a skeeter on my peter, whack it off.

28

Oh I wish I were a little dicky-bird
Oh I wish I were a little dicky-bird
I would sit upon the steeple
Dropping droppings on the people
Oh I wish I were a little dicky-bird

My grandmother (a kindergarten teacher for heaven’s sake!) taught us Johnny Verbeck and also (couldn’t find a site cite for this one)

I’m a villian, a dirty, dirty villian
I put poison in my mother’s shredded wheat
I take delight in stirring up a fight
And whacking little kittens on the head (Til they’re dead!)
I put the smudge upon the family escutcheon
I eat (snort snort) raw meat!

:slight_smile:

29

To the tune of “Glory, Glory Hallelujah”

Oh, he jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute,
He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute,
He jumped from forty thousand feet without a parachute,
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

Chorus: Glory, glory, what a heckuva way to die
Glory, glory what a heckuva way to die
Glory, glory what a heckuva way to die
And he ain’t gonna jump no more.

They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam
They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam
They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump off strawberry jam
And he ain’t gonna jump no more

Chorus

They put him in an envelope and sent him off to Mum
They put him in an envelope and sent him off to Mum
They put him in an envelope and sent him off to Mum
And he ain’t gonna jump no more

Chorus

She put him on the mantelpiece for all the world to see
She put him on the mantelpiece for all the world to see
She put him on the mantelpiece for all the world to see
And he ain’t gonna jump no more

Chorus

(on the word jump, singers should jump)

I know lots more, as I went to Girl Scout camp for nine years!

30

MBlackwell, I love “Fido Is a Hot Dog Now,” and treasure my 78 of it!

“But I won’t look all over, the way they did for Rover,
For I know just where little Fido’s gone, poor dog—
He’s in a place below where all the naughty doggies go,
Down, down, down, where there isn’t any snow!
Though his hair was short and his tail was long, I miss the little devil somehow (Bow-wow!)
But he won’t get cold feet, at that, there’s ‘Too Much Mustard’ where he’s at—
Fido Is a Hot Dog Now!”

Lisa Ann the song you quote sounds like a 1920s novelty song called “I Love Me” (why, yes, I have a recording of that one, too!):

“I love me, I love me, I’m wild about myself
I love me, I love me, my picture’s on my shelf.
You may not think I look so good, but me thinks I’m divine
It’s grand when I look in my eyes and know I’m mine, all mine!
I love me, I love me, and my love doesn’t bore
Day by day in every way I love me more and more.
I take me to a quiet place
I put my arm around my waist…
If me gets fresh I slap my face!
I’m wild about myself.”

31

Kewl!

32

Lisa Ann, here’s a link to the complete lyrics, which were too long to print here.

33

Thanks, eve.

Does anyone know the song about Big Red gum and consumption? I’ll have to ask my mom this weekend. She’s got a ton of them.

My Grampa Barsness used to sing to us at bedtime when he was visiting from Minnesota, ya.

This is my favorite:

Oh, I hear the chickies peepin’ on the other side the fence
My mama’d let me have one if she had a bit of sense
For I’s born to be a farmer, sure as I’ve a soul
But how’m I gonna do it through an old knot hole?

34

My dad used to sing this one –

Sweet Rosie O’Grady,
She was a blacksmith by birth.
Poor Rosie got tired of living
And wanted to leave this earth.
So she swallowed a tape-line
But dying by inches was hard.
So Rosie went out in the alley
Laid down and died by the yard.
I know “The Billboard Song” too – mblackwell I posted the lyrics one time and I think you mentioned you had an Mp3 then. I’d love to hear it!

This is more of a rhyme, but the song flodnak posted reminded me of it –

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys arose to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys.

35

On top of spaghetti
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled of the table, then onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball
Rolled out of the door.

There’s more, but the rest of it escapes me now.

36

It rolled into the garden, and under a bush.
The last time I saw it, it was nothing but mush.
:smiley:

37

I LOVE this board :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

A Ram Sam Sam

A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam
Gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam
A ram sam sam, a ram sam sam
Gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam

A rafi a rafi
Gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam
A rafi a rafi
gooli gooli gooli gooli gooli ram sam sam

*Actions:

Ram sam sam: prop yourself up and bounce your backside on the floor three times
Gooli gooli…: drum your feet on the floor
A rafi: wave arms in the air
Repeat the song a number of times, getting faster and faster. Or alternatively, the song can be sung in a four-part round*
O.O

38

Flodnak- That may be the same song, but the version I am thinking about has a completely different chorus. I’ve heard that chourus as a seperate song except it has “fine feathered freinds” instead of webfooted.

39

Anybody remember the words to “Sippin’ Cider Through A Straw”?

40

Old McDonald sittin’ on a bench,
Beatin’ his meat with a monkey wrench.
He swung to hard and hit his balls,
And he sh!tted all over his overalls."