Krispy Kreme = Krispy Krap!

Yeah, okay, I live in the wild western, uncivilized wastelands. We have heard about Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, but untill recently, have never had one around to actually taste them.

Well, the closet city of any size and importance announced a while back that they were getting a Krispy Kreme! With the hype that surrounded this event, you would have sworn that it was the second coming of Krispy Krist! When it had its grand opening, traffic was tied up for blocks, and it was major news for the local papers and tv goom-bahs.

Well, the wife was in the “Littlist City” yesterday to drop our dog’s corpse off to have it checked by the state for a suspected poisioning and she decided that she wanted to try the Krispy Kreme experiance for herself. She bought a dozen (!) doughnuts and mowed a couple. Later that day, we hooked up for lunch and I noticed then that she didn’t seem too interested in her lunch, and she told me that she had eaten these doughnuts and wasn’t too impressed.

Well, I get home from work and see the box sittin’ on the counter and decide to take the plunge and taste “the worlds best doughnut” as the dorks on the radio are claiming. I grab a harmless looking glazed with sprinkles and take a bite.


Good God! Whatever happened to the idea of a nice, tasty pastry product? This horrid piece of fried lard, thrice sweetend, then sweetened again was an abonimation to my palate. I had a real hard time chocking the whole thing down! I thought it was disgustingly over-sweet, heavy and plain old nasty! Krispy Krap, I say! Tasted like Krispy Krust from a Konvict Klown’s Kolon!

Please, keep you Krispy Kreme to yourself!

Second place is like fucking without coming. Lot of time and effort with no real payoff, and someone else is enjoying more than you.

Everyone keeps telling me they’re best when they’re warm.

I’ve tried them warm. I’ve tried them cold. I’ve tried them new. I’ve tried them old.

I do not like those Krispy Kreams. They’re nasty and they give bad dreams.

Hey, more for me!!!

Krispy Kremes are best when they’re hot and fresh, and the glaze sticks to your fingers. Drooool…


You are EVIL! Krispy Kremes are God’s Donuts.

But…if you don’t want 'em…


May you burn in the vile oil of Dunkin’ Donut’s hell for posting this. Repent, Repent I say!!!

First off, Krispy Kremes must be eaten warm. Secondly, only their plain glazed are of any importance (other varieties are average at best).

Based on what I heard people saying about KKs, I really, truly thought that they were somehow “more” than a doughnut - perhaps a uber-doughnut, the next step on the doughnut evolution ladder. I thought that eating Krispy Kremes invited an orgasmic response matched only by showering with Herbal Essence. Then I had my first one, and came to this shocking conclusion:

It’s JUST a doughnut, folks! It’s not going to change your life! I mean, yeah, it’s okay and all, but how excited can you get about a doughnut? Apparently, excited enough to wait in the drive-through line for 20 minutes to purchase some fried dough with glaze on it! The one that opened up here tied up traffic lanes for hours at a time for WEEKS - they had to have a policeman come out to direct traffic. It was insane.

Besides, they don’t have all the nifty flavors that Dunkin Donuts has (which is my issue, probably - I’ve never been too fond of plain glazed, preferring instead cake donuts and flavored donuts, and particularly those ones with the frosting and the sprinkles!!)

Maybe they put some addictive substance in it that I’m immune to or something, because I just cannot understand the literal and absolute devotion some people have to KKs - they preach KK, they crave KK, their eyes get that far-off look as they dream KK…it’s really, really weird.

You’re not alone, I can’t stand those nasty rings of fried death. and yes, I have had them warm. the main difference I’ve found between the warm and cold krispy kreme experience is that, when cold, they make me feel nauseous and on the verge of some sort of sugar-induced coma. When hot… well its pretty much exactly the same but my fingers are also sticky.

Krispy Kreme sucks!

Here we have Jolly Pirate, a truly fine place that puts out donuts that are everything the KK disciples claim KK donuts to be.

You lousy sons of bitches. Krispy Kreme is all that is good and holy in the world. And if loving Krispy Kreme is wrong…I don’t wanna be right.


:: shakes fist at Dunkin Donuts ::

Well, I don’t eat donuts any more than once, maybe twice a year, but Krispy Kremes are the Platonic ideal of Donut. They contain, in each fat-fried, sugar glazed molecule, the echt essence of that which we call “donut.”

Or, to put it in more plebeian terms,

MMM, they’s good!

Last Saturday, the hubby and BIL took the kids 2 buy 2 dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme - one glazed and one cream-filled, chocolate covered, while my sister and I shopped. By noon the next day, there were none.

We are lucky to have a Krispy Kreme a little less than 10 minutes from home. I love the poisonous stuff, but I kind of forget about the place. Sometimes when I drive by (especially if the big red “HOT DOUGHNUTS NOW!” sign is lit up, I think “Woo! Hot damn! Krispy Kreme!”

And for those of you who claim not like like KK, are you buying them at a real Krispy Kreme, or are you buying them from the grocery store? Lots of grocery & convenience stores here stock them, but I think they’re approaching elderly by the time they make it there. Anyway, stale KK donuts are definately edible. Take a small cast-iron skillet, heat to very hot, add about a teaspoon of butter. Swirl it around. Plop in one KK glazed donut, return to heat. Flip donut over after 30-45 seconds, grill on other side, and put on a saucer. Serve with cold glass of milk, napkin, and a fork (you can’t eat it with your hands, even after it cools). Yeah! Butter-fried donuts.

YES! YES! This happened here, too! More people turned out for the Grand Opening of the damn Krispy Kreme than voted in the last election!

“their eyes get that far-off look as they dream KK…” Like Fogey, when he dreams about eating his own Poo! (TVFunhouse) Pretty damn good comparison, if you ask me!

20 minute wait ?!? They were in line for hours here in Denver.

Personally, I like Lamars - there’s a lot more substance to them. I call the KK ones “sugar-coated air puffs”.

They’re too sweet. They’re so bad I can only manage to eat 3 or 4 at the office when they show up. :slight_smile:

I couldn’t agree more. Nasty stuff. Dunkin’, Hostess, 7-11, corner liquor store–I’d eat any of their donuts before I’d subject myself to another KK.

But the defenders! “You need to eat them 5 minutes out of the oven”, “You need to eat them from officially sanctioned KK dealers”, etc. Bullcrap! They aren’t any better that way, and who wants to eat something you have to make a freakin’ appointment for?


The OP sounds almost exactly like what happened to me! I’ve never heard so much fuss about doughnuts in my entire life. So I went out and bought some -hot, like everybody says you have to in order for them to be good. I bought a dozen glazed doughnuts when the ‘hot donuts’ sign was lit up. I grabbed a hot, sticky, gooey doughnut and took a bite-

I felt like I had lost a game of ‘salty biscuit’.

It was absolutely revolting. People flock to KK and wait in line because of some very manipulative marketing, not because the product is any good.

IMHO, Dunkin’ Donuts kicks KK’s ass all over the place. Three reasons.

  1. Krispy Kreme tastes like ass tulips cold, and only slightly better than eating puke when warm.

  2. KK does not have anywhere near the variety of doughnuts that DD has.

  3. DD also has Coolatas (or however you spell it.) which are pretty damn good and worth a trip there just for them.

However, given that I’m stuck in the g-d forsaken south where everything is ass backwards and stupid, I only have KK at my disposal. So normally, I just don’t eat doughnuts.

OARN, there’s a little Vietnamese doughnut shop just off I-65 near E-town, KY that is, again IMHO, the greatest pastry shop in the world. I’ve had doughnuts from a lot of places, but this one just takes the cake. Pun intended. Apparently the Vietnamese know how to make some damn good doughnuts. Whodathunkit?

I’m with DEBORAK. It may be the best damn donut on the planet. It may even be a donut that descended directly from heaven, the embodiment of donut nirvana.

It’s. Still. Just. A. Donut.

It’s a donut, people! It doesn’t cure cancer! It does not give you an orgasm, reports you may have heard to the contrary notwithstanding! It’s a pastry product!

I have no problem with you, my fellow Dopers, who think they’re awesome – though I confess my response to them is “eh.” – I have a problem with the people who act like the world didn’t spin until the Krispy Kreme shop in their neighborhood opened, and now it (the world) spins around a Krispy Kreme donut. Camping overnight to be the first in the door? Making your *wedding cake/i] out of donuts? Waiting in line for six hours for a donut? That’s just wrong, y’all; it’s just wrong.


You don’t have a lot of friends, do you, Jodi? :wink:

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